Broken Marriage Vows

11 years ago, as Cindy and I looked tenderly into each other’s eyes and set the ground-rules that would serve as guideposts to the rest of our lives, there were few disagreements and many whole-hearted agreements.

Well, the honeymoon is now officially over, and I am sad to say that Cindy was the one who caved in on what was one of our core vows. It's sad, really, as she tends to be more hardline on such fundamental issues.

Yes, I wish she would have consulted with me before breaking the vow of ‘No Pets--Not in this life, nor in the next!’

Still, I guess it's not the end of the world, and someday, heaven willing, the remaining goldfish will die--hopefully sooner rather than later.

You see, last night at the church Trunk-or-Treat activity there was a 'Fish Pond' booth, and they were giving out real goldfish. As it was the only event that Cameron would do, Cindy finally gave in (I was running the 'Cupcake Walk' the entire night).

We ended up going home with 1 for each of the 3 older kids, and they chose names on the way home—Sparkle (Cameron), Lisa (Makenna), and [to be inserted later] (Erin) (they all vetoed Cindy's suggestions of 'Flush' and 'Moaning Myrtle,' and Erin was quite offended that we were so callous). Upon arrival, Cindy temporarily put them in a glass vase for the night.

This morning I found one of them belly-up already. I smiled quietly to myself. (I later learned that it was either Sparkle or Erin's fish.)

However, this small smile changed to a frozen rictus of terror at approx. 10 AM when Cindy emailed me a picture of the aquarium kit she was thinking of buying.

Stay tuned for further news about this survivor challenge. Which one will be floated off at the next tribal council? Will one of them be nicknamed Bobber? Will mysterious 'Others' be introduced to the environment as the current group dwindles in number? And will these 'Others' also have a submarine?

On the bright side, the kids can never say that they never had a pet!

Recent favorite phrases

For posterity's sake, it is again time to relate the current fashionable language in our home.

Erin: “Retard!” “Jerk!” “Do you think I care?!”
Cameron: “IDiot!” [With Napoleon Dynamite enunciation]. “Bleep-Bleep!” [You know he is thinking the words he has bleeped out, but one is still thankful for small favors.]
Makenna: “So how was I supposed to know?!” “Wahhhhh!” [She is the queen of crying at the drop of a hat if she doesn’t get her way.]
Allyson: Non-verbals: “Oh, that sure felt good coming out!” “Entertain me daddy! Feed me mommy!” “Hey Dad, how 'bout s'more brownies!”

I think I'm finally going to do it.

Do what?

Get a copy of Erin's birth certificate resized and laminated, that's what!

Cindy had a book party at the house tonight, so I kindly volunteered to take all the kids to the YMCA to play.

As Erin was entering the indoor playland, a worker opened the door and said, "No kids 10 or over are allowed on it."

"She's nine," I replied.

He gave me that 'Yeah, right, and Picard is better than Kirk' look. He asked for her name, and I freely gave it and told him to feel free to look it up.

He didn't come back.

Now THIS is blogging fodder!

I am currently converting our wedding video to DVD, and Erin was watching some of it tonight right before bedtime.

As we gathered for family prayer, she looked at me and in a perhaps slightly puzzled tone, told me, "Daddy, you were a lot more handsome back then. Now you are more...," she paused briefly as she tried to think of just the right descriptive term, "...shiggy-shaggy."

Makenna and Cameron must know what that means--they erupted in laughter--but I am still in the dark.

Makenna gave us another usage example, albeit an enigmatic one, as she snorted and said, "Mom, you were more shiggy-shaggy back when you were married!"

Cindy tried to score points by saying, "Daddy just looks more distinguished now!"

They didn't buy it.

Desperate Housewife Dreams

Cindy called me at work this morning to tell me her latest dream.

As our family was playing out back, a big van pulled up and a group came into the house, acting as if we were having an open house. Cindy asked what they were doing, and they said that they wanted to buy the house. (Cindy’s impression during this dream sequence was that they were relatives of our neighbors and wanted to live next door.)
Cindy replied, ‘But it’s not for sale!’
‘But we want to buy it—what would you accept?’ the man replied.
Cindy threw out the figure of $300,000 (and I jabbed her in the ribs to express my concern about how crazily high this figure was).
The man replied, ‘Actually, my wife was thinking of paying up to $375,000.’ [Note to dear readers, that is approx. 3 times the value of our humble abode.]
They left soon after, saying they would think about it. Soon a second (rather snooty) family showed up--they really wanted the house too.
But the next day, the first group came back with a check for $368,000.

Cindy then dreamed about being able to buy a dream house and never having a house payment again. [I am not sure if she was still asleep or was awake by the time she was dreaming about this!]

Sadly....(?)

Yes, blogging has been a little light the past couple weeks.

The kids just aren't giving me any good material to work with!

Just soccer games, tantrums, major tantrums, smart-aleckyness, and a sweet Allyson. (She slept for 3 hours yesterday morning, much to Cindy's extreme delight!)

As voting season approaches....

....just know that Erin came out the winner.

Unbeknownst to us, she 'ran' for student council in her class and she and her friend Erinn won the two seats.

She had written a short speech for her campaign, but she forgot it on the big day, so she just got up and extemporized.

We were impressed that our shy little girl is becoming less shy in public.

(Of course in PRIVATE she still has a hard time remembering to shut the door when she's in the bathroom or to wear a bathrobe when she's in her skivvies!)

Fertile Young Minds

As it was Fast Sunday today, Erin skipped breakfast. She wasn't too thrilled, especially when she heard that mom wasn't (because pregnant and nursing women don't fast).

Erin walked away, but returned a couple minutes later looking like this:


Soon all the kids joined in the fun.


She didn't eat any breakfast, though, and had nary a complaint!

And then the real screaming began.....

Cindy called me at 9:15 today. I assumed she was calling to wish me a happy 11th anniversary, but such was not the case (at least not directly)!

She called to tell me that Erin was still at home instead of at school because one of her teeth became super-loose when she was brushing her teeth.

She put me on speaker phone and we both encouraged Erin to do the last little yank and pull it out.

And after just a little coaxing she did!

It was only after Cindy and I jointly (amid chortles) composed the following note to the school that Erin started screaming and gesturing to Cindy that she was going to cut her throat as revenge:

Please excuse Erin for being late this morning. While brushing her teeth this AM her loose tooth became extremely loose and somewhat bloody. Rather than sending her to school bloody and resembling Dracula (even in the month of Halloween) we kept her home to perform a tooth extraction and to staunch the flow of blood.
You're welcome!
Sincerely?
Cindy Floyd

Dramatis Personae

As we drove to Erin's soccer game tonight (her team won 7-1), Makenna and Cameron were in the back seat and Makenna suddenly began crying hard. Cindy asked what was the matter (we both assumed that some major appendage of Cameron was involved), and through her sobs she managed to get out the following:

"Cameron put his shoes on the seat with the toes facing me, and I don't want them to face that way! Waaaaaaa!!!"

Cindy and I just sighed and told her to live with it.

Gee, I hope we weren't too tough on her!

PS: Cameron didn't have his shoes on at the time....