From Makenna's point of view

Yesterday while Makenna and I were out shopping she told me about a time that Erin was asking Cameron to do something and he said, 'Just a sec." To which Erin replied, "There are no secs!" Thinking it was so funny because she had just said, "sex" while really talking about secs the kids all burst out laughing.
Soooo...I thought to myself why not find out what Makenna knows about sex.

Me ---"Makenna....what is sex?", I asked her.
Makenna---"You know. Like you and dad love each other."
Me----"Yes......"
Makenna-----"And you think he is Hot. You know like sexy." Giggle. Giggle. Giggle.

Ahhh...lets just hope her definition is the only one she knows for a long time!!

A girl who knows what she wants!

As I was getting Ally changed for a nap she said, "I want Daddy to put me in!" Realizing Daddy is not always available to do this I quickly obliged her and said, "Okay. Let me get Daddy."
She jumped off the bed and with added enthusiasm exclaimed
"He is my HANDSOME Daddy!!!"

You're Never Too Old for An Object Lesson

I really don't like cell phones much. They are more of a pain than an aid, but there are just enough times when they are handy enough to justify their miserable existence (as long as it doesn't cost me more than $9/month).

As such, even if I am carrying it, I rarely have it turned on. I figure that if I need it I can turn it on then.

For some reason, this drives Cindy bonkers.

I can always tell when she has tried calling me while I have been out.

The tell-tale signs are subtle, yet discernable to the seasoned expert.

One indicator is the wild look in her eyes.

A second is when--in a deceptively calm manner--she queries, 'So dear, sweetie, honey, is your cell phone perchance turned on?'

Being an expert in subliminal messaging, I have learned it is not wise to chuckle heartily and retort, 'Why? It runs down the batteries! And then I couldn't use it at all!'

So this evening I took Erin and Cambone to the Y, and as a wallet, cell phone, and keys tended to turn my sweat pants into low riders, I put them in a locker. I would like to say that I remembered to turn the cell phone off before locking it up, but that would be a lie, because I never turned it on in the first place.

We were there for a good 2 hours, which was a bit longer than I had expected. I shot hoops and exercised with Erin, and Cambone played with some friends we saw and I had forced him to say 'Hi' to.

But I digress....

We got home at 7:03, and as we walked in the door I saw a wild look in Cindy's eyes. But even before I could fully interpret the nuances of this look, a deceptively calm look came over her face, and she made the statement, 'So, you didn't have your cell phone on, did you.'

I tried to explain that the cell phone had been locked up in order to prevent an unsightly and unseemly display, and thus that I hadn't had it on my person anyway.' I produced the phone to show her that I had carried it safely home.

'Hmmm,' she said to herself, taking the phone from my hand. 'This is obviously useless.' 'Oh,' she then said brightly, 'I know what to do with things that are useless!' She then proceeded to walk into the kitchen, then she tossed it into the garbage can, a rather pleased look on her face.

Thus endeth the object lesson.

I sure hope it'll stick! (Otherwise, it may be found sticking out of my back!)

PS: Cameron fished it out.....

A Hulk Hogan of a father!?

Ally, for most of her adorable life has been a Daddy's girl. Even though I try to placate Cindy by reminding her that this also means that I am Ally's first draft whenever she has a poopy diaper, when she is being put to bed, and when she is being lifted out of the crib in the morning, there is still a bit of good-natured resentment.

You know, such as, "I carried her for 9 months and had to have her surgically removed, and yet she screams for Daddy when I try to get her out of bed after her nap time!'
Or 'I suffered from morning sickness for 3 months so I could be kicked at when I try to unbuckle her from her carseat when her daddy is nearby!?'

I was home all last week, and she was my little shadow. If she wanted to snuggle, I was there. If she wanted to get a ham sandwich for breakfast, I was there. If she wanted to play in the backyard, I was there.

Personally, I figure that dear ol' Daddy will be forgotten once she gets old enough to find out what a tight-wad I am.

So anyway, tonight I was laying her down to change her diaper before bedtime, and her head hit kinda hard on the carpeted floor. She started crying and told me to 'Go away Daddy!'

Since Cindy was in the room, I said, 'I'm sorry Ally. Do you want Mommy to change your diaper?'

Through her tears she managed to splurt out, 'No! Daddy do it!'

This led Cindy to comment, 'You could probably body-slam her and she would still prefer you!'

Nope, no Little Orphan Annie Decoder Ring yet.....

Allyson, aged a tender 2 2/3 years old, was lying on the bed as Cindy was getting her dressed, and when Kenner walked into the room, Ally called out to her,

'Whaddya want for Christmas?'
With only a slight pause--not allowing Kenner enough time to rattle off, 'I want an official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle'--she then followed up with a twangy 'You'll shoot yer eye out kid!'

Cindy then asked her, 'Who are you? Santa Claus?'

Ally replied, 'HOhhhhhhh-HOhhhhhhhh-HOhhhhhh!!!!'

Maybe Ally watched 'A Christmas Story' a few too many times in the past couple weeks. (Fortunately we now have a Clearplay DVD player, so we can edit out the less-than-good language when watching it. She watched it unedited, but I'm pleased to say that she didn't pick up any of the salty language! Or am I being naive?)





I guess Cindy should feel lucky--Ally didn't have a boot on, and she didn't try implanting it in Cindy's forehead to push her down a Santa slide.

The youth of today.....

It was Christmas morn.

After the glee of looking at the presents under the tree wore off somewhat, Kenner thought to look over towards the kitchen counter and ask, 'Did Santa eat what I left him?'

Santa had obviously drained the egg nog, milk, and cookies, so I answered, 'Yep, he sure did!'

Erin was by me at the time, and being a Santa cynic, looked towards me with a grin, and made the following wry comment:

'We should do a DNA swab on the cup!'

It's a wonder she got any presents at all!

Faith-promoting experience

The phone rings.

It is one of Erin's friends.

Erin is downstairs.

I stand at the top of the stairs and call out to her.

She comes to the foot of the stairs (directly below me), looks up, raises her hands, and says, 'Drop it to me!'

Something in my countenance causes her to wheedlingly tack on, 'C'mon, Dad! I won't drop it!'

Taking a leap of faith, I drop it the 10 feet or so to her.

She caught it.

[You can't even begin to imagine how much I wanted to add the word, 'Amazingly,' to the head of the previous sentence!]

For the hundreth time....!!!

Erin maide it to the finals at the skool spellling bee, and ended up takeing sekent plaice.

Pa and I are jest tickled pinke! She's always been a grate speller--she aint never had to study words for her spellin tests--but maybe neks year (if she axually studeed) she could take first if she lernt how to spell 'hundredth.'

Mother of the Year Award

Between housecleaning, new member lessons with the missionaries and visiting teachers, and baking all the gingerbread for 5 gingerbread houses, something had to go....

Too bad it was the child!

I can't say how many movies Allyson watched, or what she ate, but it was about 3 PM when I found her in this position in front of the TV.

Erin's B-Day

On Friday Erin finally turned 12 (though she has been acting like a teenager for a good year or so already). Instead of a bunch of toys, she got more teeny-bopper gifts--lotions, balms, basic makeup, and a leg-shaving kit--and she was ecstatic!
After opening a Mary Kay mascara thingy, she even spontaneously broke out into a hymn of praise to express her deep-felt joy--



I would hazard to guess that few blog readers would have imagined that Erin would be so uninhibited....???

WWJD?

Erin, Allyson and I were driving home on Saturday from her first basketball game, and Ally got the great idea of trying to squirm and get her arms out of the buckles.

Erin noticed this and told her to get her arms back in.

Allyson blithely ignored this advice.

Erin then tried a different tack. (Which is a nautical term, right Amy R!?)

'Ally,' she sweetly cooed, 'Do you want to be like Jesus?'

Allyson (thankfully!!) replied, 'Yes!'

"Well,' Erin continued, 'Jesus would put his arms in the buckles.'

Ally finally acquiesced to this flawless--though not theologically sound--logic, put her arms back in for the rest of the trip.

Gingerbread city

I thought it would be fun to get together with our friends from the neighborhood to decorate Gingerbread houses. I baked the houses and everybody contributed to the decorations. It was so much fun. Enjoy the pics.

All of the neighbors ended up with beautiful houses, such as this one....



but due to us having left the decorating of our house to Erin and Makenna, the results were less than stellar....



As Louis delicately put it, 'It looks like Santa BARFED on OUR house!'

A long time coming...

We have our struggles in our home. One of them includes sibling rivalry. It seems particularly bad with Cameron and Makenna. I have tried many things to try and stop it and to teach my children to love each other.
Cameron currently earns tickets for good behavior. When he get a certain amount he is rewarded with a trip to the dollar store or they can be exchanged for money (he is saving up for something). Sooo.....with that in mind I challenged him...
"If you can have a perfect day getting along with Makenna I will give you 2 tickets."
I wrote it in a notebook he keeps for notes from us and told him to check it this morning.
Makenna got out of bed at the usual time this morning while Cameron took a bath first thing.
By the time he got downstairs for breakfast she was done eating and had gone back upstairs to get ready for school. This was our conversation.

Cameron: Where is Makenna?

Me: She has already eaten and is upstairs getting dressed for school.

Cameron: How did that little sweetie eat so fast?

Okay....maybe not much to you but to me....Priceless. Come on...Cameron calling Makenna "SWEETIE!" I never thought the day would come.

Tug of War

Cindy was dropping by my work with Ally, and as the the building came in sight Cindy pointed to it and asked, 'Who is in there?'

Ally got excited and said, 'Daddy is in there!'

She then added, 'He is a handsome prince!'

To reconfirm what she had just heard, Cindy asked, 'What did you say?'

Ally replied again, 'He is a handsome prince!'

Cindy replied, 'Yes, Daddy is MY handsome prince.'

Ally retorted, 'No, MY handsome prince!'

Cindy, her voice edged in carbide, cooed back, "No, Daddy is MY handsome prince!'

Knowing when to quit (the only one of the three who has mastered this trait), Ally relented. 'Yes, Daddy is YOUR handsome prince.'

And then added, 'And you go to the ball!"

Then after thinking a moment came back with, "And I am Sleeping Beauty!"