What’s not to love? Now that you mention it…

In ongoing efforts for full disclosure (overly full disclosure?), we are forced to admit that Allyson does have some habits that pain her parents greatly.
Daddo Depilatory Depredations: I was holding her on the bed last night and as she laid there quietly—almost catatonic—before she fully settled down for the night, her left hand kept reaching out and grabbing and yanking hard on my arm hair. I think it was an unconscious act bereft of malice—she probably found it soothing to pet her Daddo--but it still hurts today! I would move her soft little hand away, and she would soon creep it back and grab another fistful. Ouch! (She also does the same thing with chest hair!)
Mommo Mammary Mastications: Allyson has no teeth, but according to Cindy she sure has hard gums! If she were just biting down with her gums while nursing, that would be one thing (though I imagine it still hurts!), but Allyson has added a new twist. She likes to bite down hard and then twist her head away. Does she think she’s trying tear off a piece of tough jerky? Being the wonderful mother that she is, Cindy just grits her teeth (though sometimes I think I have heard her mutter something like 'Similac').

…and the Sweetest Gift!

Today Allyson is 3 months old, and she is passing out gifts right and left (not that she understands what her ‘right’ and ‘left’ are yet—as you might expect she is still grappling with the concepts of ‘up’ and ‘down’ and ‘Aristotelian logic.’ As I keep telling her, ‘Baby steps! Baby steps!’ (not that she knows what steps are either! She is still working on..............))
But I digress….
Allyson has now slept through the night for 3 nights in a row!
She is now a full-fledged smile machine too!
And yesterday she turned over from her tummy to her back—twice!!
What’s not to love!?!

The Sweetest Words….

Cindy has noticed a new phrase in the kids’ summer vocabularies that is music to her ears.
‘Mom, can I have a friend over after I get my chores done?’
Cindy has had great success in assigning daily chores (with ‘tickets’ that they can redeem on Fridays for treats).
Among other things, she has trained them all to empty the dishwasher, and more importantly—and though it has taken a year—has trained Erin and Cameron to clean the bathrooms correctly under minimal supervision. That includes mirrors, counters, sinks, and toilets.
Whether ingrained or programmed, I don’t know, but it is great!
The next stage is to have them say, ‘Mom, can I call a friend after I get your chores done?’ We expect to see results here in approximately 40 years.

Blanketing Rain?

Continuing on another episode of Erin covering head with blanket (see the Niagara entry below)…last night we drove down to Cincinnati to go out for dinner with Cindy’s brother Ryan, who was in the area on business. We ate at Don Pablo’s, where Erin discovered that she ‘really, really loves’ Mexican food. As she gushed, ‘All this food is for me? I LOVE Don Pablo's!’
Anyway, on the way home we first enjoyed a great lightning show in the distance, but when we hit south Dayton we got right in the middle of it (even driving at 30 mph I’m sure we left a nice wake on the freeway!) Erin, who was in the passenger seat, started getting real nervous.
Erin first tried to say that she was worried that Allyson would get shocked by lightning and that was why she was so nervous. It was a nice try, but not very convincing. I told her that cars were very safe places to be in such storms. She responded by putting a blanket over her head so she wouldn’t have to look at all the nearby flashes. I tried to take her mind off of it by telling her to keep her eyes on the big semi in front of us. I explained to her that since it was taller it was more likely than us to be hit by lightning and blow up. Somehow that didn't help. Neither did stopping her from climbing into the back seat by telling her that our gas tank was in the back. Cindy told her to say a prayer, which she did. Under the blanket, that is. That did seem to help. We got out of it a few minutes later and made it safely home.
As for the other kids, Makenna fell asleep during the storm, and, according to Cindy, Cameron—who was in the back with Cindy—was rather monosyllabic, but not overly concerned.

UPDATE: It appears that Mexican food does not agree with Allyson's stomach in its 'Cindy-processed' form--she was throwing up a lot more than usual the next day.

Finish the following sentence….’I hugged Mom because…..’

Before I divulge the end of this warm-hearted utterance, let me just say that a child’s love knows no bounds. They take comfort in a heartwarming embrace from a loving mother, and even tenderly reciprocate at times. Such was last night. It almost brought tears to Cindy’s eyes. It was 10:30 PM and we had all just gotten home from Cincinnati and the kids were getting ready for bed. I came upstairs to help, and Cameron came running at me with a gleam of joy in his eyes.
I knew he wanted to tell me something important.
‘Dad!’ he said eagerly.
‘What’s up Camerino?’ I gently replied.
He quickly continued, ‘Do you know why I hugged Mom?’
‘No, Cameron. Why?’
He pushed his chest out and proudly replied, ‘Because I had a burp comin'!’
Based on his huge grin and his gleeful cackles, Cindy had apparently been able to squeeze it out of him successfully.
I tried to look stern and not bemused. I don’t think it worked….
PS: Cindy’s near-tears were likely the result of his Mexican dinner breath.

Expurgated Version of the Niagara Trip.....

I have not mentioned our Palmyra/Niagara trip too much in my blogging, as it was covered in the weekly email and because it was such a ‘fun’ drive with the kids. Though there were plenty of good memories, the long drives made them easy to forget!
A case in point. Erin made the following pronouncement upon not being able to find the cd she had brought and which she had insisted she had put away (it was later found right where she had said she had put it—it must have magically dematerialized when she had been ‘looking’ for it….)
"I want to be dead and go to heaven! This world is crappy. I don't want to go on this trip. I want to go home."
She then put a blanket over her head for awhile.
If this is how she is at 9, I dread her teenage years!
And, though his behavioral manifestations were different, Cameron was not one whit behind Erin in being disruptive! However, during the first couple hours of the trip as the kids listened to a Scripture Scouts CD, Makenna commented, "Mom, Cameron is being so quiet I forgot we brought him!"

It's a new paradigm...

Allyson is so petite that it has taken a bit of getting used to.
No, not to Allyson herself, because we see her all the time and don't notice how small she is.
Rather, it is to every single female who asks how old she is, and then gushes, 'She is so beautiful--and so little (or 'small' or 'petite' or 'teeny')!'
Up to now we have not had kids that ever got the second half of such comments! Heck, Erin was shooting 3-pointers by 2 1/2 months!
Anyway, we just take it in stride and smile quietly to ourselves. At last! A girl who can wear outfits until they wear out!

Yahtzee high scores

Hand-held electronic Yahtzee, that is. During our Niagara trip Cindy held the record at 387 or so (I drove the entire way, so I didn't play it much at all). She was quite proud of her achievement. Since then I have gotten it up to 403, and today I casually showed her my 517.
I think I can retire now....
Hehhehheh!

Makenna--Say that again?

'Dad, can I watch a movie naked?'

(She had been wearing a long flannel bathrobe but had gotten the bottom of it wet and wanted to take it off.)

At least she didn't want to watch a naked movie!

UPDATE: So after having laid down the law, I walk into the TV room 30 minutes later to find Lady Godiva sprawled out on the floor watching 'Strawberry Shortcake.' I had to pull out the big guns--'No homemade ice cream until you have pajamas on!'

Hey Dad, What's for Dinner?

Erin yelled out.
Trying to sick her out, I sang out, 'I could cook some zucchini out on the grill for you!'
Imagine my dismay when she replied, 'OK.'
I was further disheartened when she said, 'Can I eat some raw zucchini now?'
I better get a'cookin' before she begins eating some raw chicken!

UPDATE: Erin still needs to study her veggies....she actually meant the cucumber lying on the counter, which she did devour raw. I cooked sliced zukes on the grill for me with the unparalleled Canadian Steak Seasoning liberally sprinkled on them--I haven't found anything grilled it isn't great on!

Tantrums

Can you guess which child Cindy spent over an hour with this afternoon as she patiently waited for them to stop their tantrum, calm down, and apologize for what they did?
Hint: It's not a girl!
It reminded me of those dear infant nights when he would wake up and start crying as the floor creaked as we were tiptoeing out of the room. 'Oh, he'll cry himself back to sleep,' we said. Three hours later we would go in to try to rock him back to sleep to stop his incessant crying.

Isn't that why you have a swimsuit on?

Makenna and Erin were outside in their swimsuits filling up our little kiddie pool, when Makenna comes in boo-hooing that Erin had splashed her with water.
Cindy told her 'Well, I guess it's time to dump the water out of the pool for the day!'
More boo-hooing from Kenner and a plaintive 'But I've hardly got my suit wet yet!'
She then went back out to get fully wet as she played with Erin, with no further complaints!

And her official nickname is.........(drum roll)......

Kudos to Cindy for coming up with the perfect nickname for baby Allyson.
I got her up from her nap and she had stinky gas like you wouldn't believe--and lots of it!
Cindy was thereby inspired to call her 'Yosemite,' and I think it will stand the test of time.
Why 'Yosemite?'
Because she is the rootin'-est tootin'-est babe in the entire midwest!

Dear Mr. Manners....

Dear Mr. Manners,
Is it crazy of us to plan a family trip with our 4 young children (0, 4, 7, and 9) this summer? (It would be about a 6~8 hour drive one way.)
I just have this feeling of dread whenever I think about it.
Sincerely,
Second Thoughts in Ohio

Dear Seconds,
No, of course you are not crazy to plan such a trip, as long as you don’t actually go on the trip.
But if for some reason insanity strikes and you do go through with this hare-brained scheme, please be assured that your feeling of dread will quickly be replaced by a nice nervous tic. It should go away in a couple months.
You will also swear off taking your kids on such motoring vacations. (This staunch resolution is usually preceded by some swearing AT your kids.)
You will also develop a hair-trigger temper.
Finally, please remember that you cannot send someone to their room when you are all stuck together in a vehicle.
Sincerely,
Mr. Manners
PS: Don’t worry about reserving a hotel for the last night. You will definitely be ‘driven’ back home by then.

Food Snit

Erin was doing a grand impersonation[?] of nasal mucous at her swim meet last night. After having wolfed down a chicken patty sandwich, she was incessant in her demands for more food. (For some reason, when she is at a meet she has to be eating something all the time. And yes, we made a big tactical blunder when we let her buy her dinner at the concessions stand at one of the meets—now she half-expects it!) Anyway, we told her to be calm down and stop being so smart-mouthed.
She then made the offhand comment, ‘Food makes me happy!’
She has no one but her parents to blame for that! Curses on you, comfort foods!

(By the way, the meet was cancelled halfway through due to weather, but Erin did win a blue ribbon for the 25m backstroke event.)

Staccato-Breath

Cindy discovered another effective use for Lamaze breathing this morning after she slammed her right index finger in the sliding door of the van. Using this breathing technique while hunched over the steering wheel, it kept her conscious and enabled her to eventually drive Erin to her swim practice! Ouch!
I consoled her over the phone by telling her that Makenna would gladly pick her nose for her if needed! (That girl is an A-Number 1 nose-picker!)

The Other Milky Way

Cindy hauled all the kids to the dentist at noon today for checkups for Erin and Cameron. She stayed in the waiting room with Allyson and Makenna, and after 20~30 minutes had passed Makenna started complaining that she was starving! But being the intelligent girl she was, she even proffered a solution to the problem!
‘Mom, why don’t you squirt some milk in my mouth?!’
Cindy politely declined. For numerous reasons, I suppose.
(This is almost as funny as the time Cindy teased Makenna by telling her to feed Allyson. Makenna astutely replied, ‘I don’t have any milk in my boobs!’)

Beeping Sleauty--Our geet little swirl!

I almost forgot this one....Allyson slept through the night on Saturday, staying sound asleep from 11PM thru 6:30 AM. Just as wonderful, none of the other kids woke us up during the night either!
Naturally, I had an inkling that this might have been the case, but I didn't dare ask, because even when I innocently ask about things that might have or might not have occurred at night I am often lashed by whips of sarcasm. Personally, I think being a sound sleeper is a virtue, and if that means that somehow I don't hear the babe wake up a couple times, or Cindy feeding and burping her, or Erin sleep-walking in, or Makenna coming in to have Cindy take her to the bathroom, am I really to blame? I think it must be genetic, and, therefore, not my fault at all.
I won't go into the pitfalls of a husband suggesting that the babe might be hungry! Not tonight anyway!!

A baby's lot is hard!

I was playing with Allyson during church, getting some nice grins and goo-goo gah-gahs, and Br. Jenney asked me, 'Does she recognize her mom and dad yet?'
'More or less,' I replied, 'We're the ones who treat her nice!'
As this seemed a little too imprecise, I clarified, 'Meaning, we're the ones who treat her gentle!'
I later realized that no clarification had been required....
After church, Allyson was asleep in her carseat, and Cameron and then his shadow mime Makenna got up in her face and started doing something akin to rebel yells in her face to get a reaction. And in this they succeeded--they got one from me! Allyson did the only logical thing and continued to sleep!

The raspberry pig is alive and well

At the end of church I was helping Cindy get everything together so that they could go home, and Cameron, in an earnest tone, asks me, 'Are you coming home with us?'
'No, not today Cameron,' I gently reply. 'I've got things I have to do.'
He grins--a bit too wickedly, perhaps--and sings out, 'That means I can pick all the raspberries before you get home!'
Sometimes his premeditation makes me nervous!

UPDATE: After I got hime I told him I bet I could find 10 more raspberries. Going up to the patch a minute later, I found Makenna and Cameron feverishly rechecking the bushes.
I only found nine!

'...like a book!

Erin had a bad morning. She was all dressed for church and then she decided that she didn't like what she was wearing, and after trashing her closet not finding anything else (in her eyes, of course), she walks into our bedroom wearing her pajamas, emphatically yelling, "I hate church! I am not going to church! Church is stupid!" Cindy wisely didn't say anything, and Erin walked back out. Three minutes later she walks back in and says that she is going to church, but she was going to sit in the van. Wise Cindy didn't say anything.
Once they got to the church Cindy got out of the car, and Erin asked if sacrament meeting was over yet. No was the reply. 'Well, if I decide to come in later I will just sit on the couch.'
Cindy merely replied, 'I'd rather you sit with the family' and shut the van door and headed for the church.
Cindy was carrying Allyson and a lot of other stuff, so it was nice of Erin to hold the door open for her!
Erin followed her into the church and went to sacrament meeting and then to her classes as usual.
You see, as in war, as a parent it is important to know the enemy.
1. Erin is deathly afraid of being home alone, and thus will ALWAYS relent.
2. Erin is deathly afraid of being left in a car alone, and thus will ALWAYS relent.
3. Once she is out the door with whatever clothes she has miraculously found, the fight is already over.

Being a parent is learning to pick your battles!
And as Cindy lightleartedly said, 'Why doesn't she ever threaten to not come home?!'

A Disease We Can Live With

On a somewhat more serious note, Erin has been complaining for some time (in her usual sweet, incessant manner) that her left knee has been bothering her, and last night at the swim meet she exacerbated it while horsing around. Cindy took her to the doc today, and found out that she has Osgood-Schlatter’s Disease.
It sounds awful, but it really just means 'tendon inflammation in the knee area that is often experienced by fast-growing kids who do sports.' (Erin scores on both counts!) This is something only time will heal (usually by age 14), and she can still play sports, etc. If it starts hurting, she just takes an Advil and ice the knee for awhile.
And I thought we would have to keep her out of soccer and thus have a much more relaxing August~September!
Rats!

Dear Mr. Manners,
My 7-year-old son has learned to bait his own hook and also unhook fish pretty much by himself, but now my husband doesn’t like to take him fishing very often! What more must my son do to get his dad to take him fishing more? Learn to fillet?
Sincerely,
Puzzled in the Heights

Dear Puzz,
Certainly, teaching your son to fillet his own catch might reel Dad in temporarily, but it would still not solve the underlying etiquette problem that is obviously causing this.
You must first make your son promise to stop catching bigger fish than his Dad. Second, you must make your son promise to stop catching more fish than his Dad. Then, and only then, will his dad rekindle his love of fishing with his son, because when it comes to fishing, bragging rights are everything!
Sincerely,
Mr. Manners

Shark Boy, Bubble Girl, and George Washington

Speaking of pools, the kids have each demonstrated new tricks this past week. Sporting his shark-themed goggles, Cameron takes 6-foot feet-first leaps into the pool. Makenna takes 4-foot chest-first leaps in to the pool and then joyfully points to all of ‘her bubbles.’ And Erin pulls her head out of the water with her hair hanging straight down in front of her face, then she flips this wet mass back in what she calls a ‘George Washington’ hairdo. (I've kicked myself numerous times for forgetting to bring the digital camera along!)

Phobias

So I'm at the Y pool with the kids today (my back still hurts so I just watched them), and Erin comes over to the side and tells me, ‘Dad, I’m not so scared of elevators anymore! I rode in them twice today!’
Whew, what a relief! It only took her to age nine!
(Actually, she has had this fear for only a year or so--I think she has watched too many TV shows with ‘stuck in the elevator’plots!)

Endless (Mindless?) Imagination

Waking up to cooler and less humid on Wednesday, the kids found fun things to do outside. For starters, as happens every year, Cameron took the wagon up and down the street and gathered up any and all the post-fireworks paraphernalia he could find--and this year Makenna helped him. (I will have to throw these treasures away when he is not looking!)
Then Cameron and Erin found nearly endless amusement taking decorative rocks and pieces of bricks and pounding them to dust using a couple hammers and a 16-inch long steel spike. They proudly showed me an entire bowl of their work product.
I can see this coming in handy in the future.
"Daddy, daddy, I'm bored!"
"Oh, go pound sand! Here's a bucket--go fill it up!"

Allympics 2006!

The Allympics torch has been lit! And after 2 months of practice the athletes are ready to vie for the gold in the following events!

The Sleep-Bleep Dash: This event starts as soon as a parent puts a sleeping Allyson down. Who can reach Allyson first and wake her up the fastest? The bleep is what Cindy and I are often thinking while the winner is taking their victory lap away from an incoming foot.

The Kissathon: In this event, the object is to kiss every square millimeter of her cute cheeks in the shortest time possible.

The Headtop Hickey: New for this year, it tests suction power, endurance, and bruisability. Points are scored by measuring the redness on a scale of 1 to 10, and by how long the kiss(?)-marks remain on Allyson's head.

The Swing-Stop: A test of endurance, the object is to see how long you can resist the urge to bother Allyson when she is happily enjoying her swing.

Numchucking: A kid's-only event, the starting gun is fired right after a parent lays Allyson down in a child's arms. Starting with one hand under her head and one under her bum, the object is to see how quickly the required elements can be completed in sequence, with extra points for artistic elements, performing while standing, while standing over the tile floor, and for any sharp intakes of breath from spectators.
The 5 required elements:
--Single Holy Cow: Quickly flipping her from a prone position up to the right shoulder.
--Double Holy Cow: Quickly flipping her from a prone position up to the left shoulder and then quickly shifting her to the right shoulder (or vice-versa)
--Double Holy Cow with A Single Axle Loop: A Double Holy Cow with a quick 180-degree turn of Allyson's body when moving her between shoulders.
--Death spiral: Turning Allyson in quick 180-degree turns (from 'facing towards' to 'facing away,' or vice versa).

The Smile Freestyle: The athlete is free to use any and all means at their disposal to coax a real smile from Allyson.
Daddy's attempt is shown below. Cindy took the picture (after laughing uncontrollably for a minute or two!)

As Mommy chortled, 'Allyson honey, why can't he get you to smile?'

Sometimes they make it so easy!

So, I was in helping Cameron get his shoes on for church, and Erin waltzes in brandishing a 5-yr old photo. She shows Cameron his 2-year-old self, and then twitters, 'This was taken back when you were still sweet!'
As an aside, as a parent I must say that this comment reflects extremely poorly on her memory recall, but anyway, I was beginning to make a quick comeback to her when she interrupts me to say, 'My nose is running--are there any tissues in here?
It was like taking a spectacular hipshot at a lame turtle--
"Erin" I said, "That is just like you, too! When you were little you were a sweetie too, but now you need a lot of tissues because you are so snotty!"
They both cracked up!