Pride and Preju-GPS

One of Cindy's 'non-surprise' gifts for Christmas (and it's surprising how many of these there were...) was a GPS unit.

As she was fiddling around with the settings, she came across the language settings for the voice, and after trying some of them, she selected 'British English' and as soon as those mellifluous tones began emanating from the speakers, she swooned, murmured something about 'My Mr. Darcy' and her countenance was lit up by a beatific smile.

We gave it its first test-drive on Sunday when we went to Middletown (my nephew is fresh off his mission to Hong Kong and was speaking). As the English voice kindly provided driving instructions Cindy went limp in the passenger seat and said,

'Yes, YES, this is my Mr. Darcy!.....I think I'll take a drive from one end of Huber Heights to the other!' (HH is famous for its maze-like street system, and thus there would be a lot of verbal instructions.)

Sounds like I won't have to buy a Valentine's gift now!

Chuck Norris the Omnipotent??

I don’t know if this is just a local phenomenon or a more widespread disease, but Cameron has recently been hearing, finding, and memorizing Chuck Norris jokes.

Here is a sampling:

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure--Chuck Norris goes killing.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry--the man ate a Jeep!

And my personal favorite:
Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a wimp would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelry."

Now, he has never seen a Chuck Norris movie (those Golan-Globus low-budget shoot-em-up chop-em-down blow-them-up flicks) or any of the TV shows. He probably doesn’t even know what he looks like. So for others in the same situation....




I got online yesterday and found a 100-joke list for him to use. (Of course, it was only 80 jokes after I got rid of the adult-themed ones, and then I had to tastefully edit the filthy-foul language out of some of the other ones). After that experience, I forbade him to get on the Internet and look up more jokes by himself.