Now that's lucky!

On Saturday night I took Kenner to dinner and a Father-Daughter dance at the school together with our 2-houses-over neighbor Joe and his daughter Kylie.

I got the best of the bargain though. It was the second-to-last dance before I was able to talk Kenner into actually dancing with me (most of the time the dance floor was covered with little girls running in circles and otherwise roving in madcap girlish packs with all the dads being wallflowers).

And then halfway thru the dance she said her stomach was hurting her (my diagnosis was 'Too many treats--she didn't concur), so that ended that!

Still, I had a hard time getting her out of the gym because the last song was Taylor Swift's 'White Horse.' (If it had been Ally, it would've been an impossible task!)

Games Girls Play.....

The other day Ally was busily drawing a picture with her crayons.

Cindy came by and Ally piped out, 'Mom, what color should I use? Red or blue?'

Ally then added in a conspiratorial tone, 'Say red!'

Cindy dutifully answered, 'How about red?'

Ally replied, 'No! I'm already using BLUE!'

[Insert Evil Laugh Here]

I was calling someone tonight to set up an interview--we all know what that means, don't we!--and I walked into the kitchen towards the end of the voicemail message I was leaving.

Being extremely bright, Cindy must've picked up on the gist of the call.

As I turned the phone off she gave me a serious look, and said, 'Hey, you left something out on your message!'

Being not so bright, I replied with concern, "Oh? What?"

'The evil laugh!' she evilly chortled.

I gave her an evil 'Bwah-ha-ha,' which she gave a thumbs-up to, so I guess I'll have to try it out some other time!

The Blog of Revelations???

I see that the last post was number 666 on this blog.
And it just happened to be about being wicked!

I guess it's a good thing I didn't inadvertently work in the number 144,000 anywhere!

Who knows what I might've started!

Wickedness Never was Happiness???

Well, maybe, but from what I've been able to tell, 'Wicked' is sheer delight to the womenfolk in our home.

Cindy and I went to see this stage version of a 'chick flick' a week ago Thursday, and though it was quite enjoyable (despite the fact it stars a green-hued lass named 'Elphaba'--Elpheba???!!!) that was just the start.

Cindy now swoons every time she listens to the CD ("It's just like seeing it again!") and prefers it even to Regis and Kelly in the morning. The girls are enchanted too. And now I find myself unconsciously humming some of the songs.

Still, it does get me out of the obligatory annual 'chick-flick' DVD rental date night that all husbands endure. And if she wants to go see another show (she bought these for us (HA!) for a Christmas present) I can just pop in the CD and let her relive it!

Elphaba????!?!??!?!?

Thatta girl!

Yesterday Allyson called upstairs with the following gem:

"Dad! Makenna is tattle-telling!"

Men's Jewelry

As I was getting Ally ready for bed, she was sorting through some kid jewelry.

'Here Dad,' she said, 'Here's a necklace for you.'

Ah, another teaching moment, I thought.

'Ally,' I gently remonstrated, 'Boys don't wear necklaces--at least, not most boys.'

She replied brightly, 'Frodo wears a necklace! One with a ring on it!'

Touche!

This is what I get for having a Lord of the Rings family movie marathon over Christmas break....(with the Clearplay filter cutting out the more violent frames).

(At least she hasn't had the need to say something like, 'He was twitching because he's got my axe embedded in his central nervous system!')

An afterthought....

Erin had a bball game tonight (they lost in overtime), and Ally and I got home at 7 PM rather than the usual 6:15 PM or so.
Cindy had a harried look as I walked in, and she promptly said, 'You're taking me out tonight!'
5 minutes later we were backing out, and we ended up at Godfather's Pizza.
15 minutes later we were eating a 1/2 Supreme Combo 1/2 Pepperoni pizza. Cindy was in heaven! You see, seven months ago we had first tasted a Supreme Combo on the occasion of a nephew's HS graduation, and she had fallen in love. (Of course we had never gone back, as a large multi-topping pizza costs about $20--and there ain't no coupons!)

30 minutes later as we were pulling out of the parking lot, she gushed, 'That is the best pizza EVER! Oh, Godfather, I love you more than anything!........Well, second only to 'Mr. Darcy.' (See the previous post....)
Then she paused briefly, looked over a me, and continued (having only missed a couple hundred beats, or so it seemed].....'Well, YOU'RE number one, of course!'

I'm glad that is straightened out!

Pride and Preju-GPS

One of Cindy's 'non-surprise' gifts for Christmas (and it's surprising how many of these there were...) was a GPS unit.

As she was fiddling around with the settings, she came across the language settings for the voice, and after trying some of them, she selected 'British English' and as soon as those mellifluous tones began emanating from the speakers, she swooned, murmured something about 'My Mr. Darcy' and her countenance was lit up by a beatific smile.

We gave it its first test-drive on Sunday when we went to Middletown (my nephew is fresh off his mission to Hong Kong and was speaking). As the English voice kindly provided driving instructions Cindy went limp in the passenger seat and said,

'Yes, YES, this is my Mr. Darcy!.....I think I'll take a drive from one end of Huber Heights to the other!' (HH is famous for its maze-like street system, and thus there would be a lot of verbal instructions.)

Sounds like I won't have to buy a Valentine's gift now!

Chuck Norris the Omnipotent??

I don’t know if this is just a local phenomenon or a more widespread disease, but Cameron has recently been hearing, finding, and memorizing Chuck Norris jokes.

Here is a sampling:

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure--Chuck Norris goes killing.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry--the man ate a Jeep!

And my personal favorite:
Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a wimp would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelry."

Now, he has never seen a Chuck Norris movie (those Golan-Globus low-budget shoot-em-up chop-em-down blow-them-up flicks) or any of the TV shows. He probably doesn’t even know what he looks like. So for others in the same situation....




I got online yesterday and found a 100-joke list for him to use. (Of course, it was only 80 jokes after I got rid of the adult-themed ones, and then I had to tastefully edit the filthy-foul language out of some of the other ones). After that experience, I forbade him to get on the Internet and look up more jokes by himself.

Thanksgiving 2009

A time of great feasting and......and......and more feasting at my sister's home!

The Prep Work--Looks like there was some HAM along with those turkeys!

The Spread....it makes the Cartwright's Ponderosa spread look downright puny!

The gracious hosts.

The thankful and hungry Pilgrims

More HAM at the dinner table!

The pie table. Somewhat disappointing, I may add, as there were only 8 pies for 6 adults and 7 kids. Oink oink!

Makenna the Hippie

Allyson getting her daily dose of horse.

To not upset the sensibilities of sensitive readers, no photos of people groaning as they are supporting their distended stomachs have been included.

I went, I spent, I came home

I had hoped to get out of going this year, but as luck would have it, I was 20th in line at Sam's Club at 4:15 AM.

Cindy had gotten up at 3:15 in preparation for her yearly masochistic ritual, but I got to sleep in until 3:45!

And I got a free breakfast out of it too! I just brought it all home so that I could eat it after the sun comes up!

Turkey Day Smells

Yesterday Cindy and I went for a nice 4-mile walk late in the morning.

Just before we left I put the cold-smoked turkey in the oven, so as we were leaving I cheerily proclaimed, "By the time we get back that turkey should be smelling REAL good!"

Cindy cheerily added, "When we get back, we should certainly be able to smell YOU real good!"

What's to argue???

Has She Been Listening to the Commodores?

Yesterday we were talking about funerals, etc., and Cindy was telling how she gets teary-eyed and emotional at them.

Erin listened, then commented, 'I keep my feelings inside,' tapping her chest.

"Yes," she continued with some degree of satisfaction, "Right here in my brick house!"

Tradition! Tradition!

Mid-day yesterday was kinda slow at the homestead, so Cindy looked at me and said, "I know you like to put up the Christmas tree on Black Friday while I'm gone, but why don't we just put it up today!"

I obligingly replied, "Ha! There is NO way! That is the only thing that helps me maintain some degree of sanity in the home while you are gone all day!"

This from the lady who thrives on traditions in a way that would make Tevye hang his bearded head in shame--always having the birthday person sit in the "Birthday Chair," having "Monkey Bread" for Christmas always eating babyback ribs for Christmas dinner, singing "Long Live the Salsa" at birthdays, etc., etc. (Yeah, I will pay big time for that last one....)

Anyway, I am glad I was able maintain this one tradition that I hold dear.

On a final note, Erin was listening nearby, her mouth agape.

"But Dad!" she stuttered in disbelief,"You NEVER tell Mom 'No'!"

I guess in the survival of the fittest, some traditions just don't have the requisite staying power!

Well, THAT was short-lived!

I now have Cambone crouched over the heating vent in the study, and Ally on my lap.

Thanksgiving Morning....

Well, I must say that things are going swimmingly this morning! The sandwich turkey (i.e., the turkey to be used primarily for sandwiches after the big feast) is outside in the smoker, and Cindy has rolls in the frig, 3 pies on the counter, and the 16-layer jello dessert (or is it a side dish?) already made.

And, oh yes....the kids are all still asleep!

Yes, that is just one of the many things to be thankful for!

Howling at the New Moon.....

Yesterday the kids were out of school, and Erin was bored (gee, what a rare occurrence!)

However, some time ago Erin had gotten a pass to get into a movie for free, so Cindy offered to take her to the latest Twilight movie (I don't recall what the name of this installment is....'Day of the Living Trixie 2'? 'Yawn 2'? '10 Stupid Things Girls Choose to Do 2?'?)

ANYway, Erin wanted to walk around the block last night, so as we walked I asked her about the movie. She was still swooning.

She first explained the intricacies of the love story between the two characters, then she commented favorably (a bit TOO favorably in my opinion) about the leading man's "8-pack" (I guess vampires have abnormal abdominal muscle structures??), and then explained the 'cliff-hanger' ending (at least if you had never read the next book....)

Here was my favorite part of the conversation (aside from the part where we stopped talking about the movie....):

Erin: So anyway, there was the boy named Jacob, and he...
Dad (interrupting): What is Jacob? A vampire? A werewolf?
Erin: A freakin' HOT werewolf!! Bow-wow!!

(OK, maybe I added the 'Bow-wow' part!)

Fortunately she only wanted to walk around the block once.

Family Proclamation Week--Days 3 and 4

I think the Family Proclamation Week is having some effect.

There are the telltale nervous tics, the trembling hands, the incoherent babblings, and the cowering in fear and loathing.

The kids, on the other hand, seem unaffected.

Yep, Cindy and I are suffering from the symptoms of Post-(or is that 'Mid-'?) Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Tuesday night: It started off well enough, and ended up well enough, too--it was just that in-between of a couple hours that was unnerving.

Highlight: We got the 3 pinata sections paper-mached together with minimal problems.



Yes, what a happy family are we!

As to what happened after that, I don't recall right now what instigated it (though I have a good guess as to the 'who'), but one of the kids got to spend some quality time in their bedroom, and it was only with great intestinal fortitude that we let the monster--bless their heart--out to watch a movie together.
Amazingly, there was not a single problem during the entire movie. Except, perhaps, for my eyes. Partway thru my eyelids seemed to close on their own accord. I think it was due to the fact that I had been rolling my eyes in agony during the first part of the movie, perhaps the dumbest movie ever made. Nope, not Nacho Libre, nope, not about vampires and the girls they love, and nope, not a Barbie movie. Cindy had been to the dollar store to get crepe paper for the pinata, and she found a DVD for the same price. It was called Super Dave (you may recall this stuntman character from old SNLs). Anyway, a dollar was WAY too much. As Cindy said, at least we now have a GREAT white elephant gift!

And as Cindy as commented, 'Yes, our family seems to get along the best when we are all interacting with the TV rather than each other!'

Well put!

Wednesday: Ahh, this night made last night seem like a picnic!

Over the course of 2 hours, the crepe paper was applied to the pinata. All the kids helped--for at least 3 minutes each--but Ally kept at it (her fingers flew like magic as she spread the glue!), and Erin and Cameron did cut the crepe paper at times....





Then more kids sent to their rooms, dessert privileges were lost, and then while the rest of the family watched The Biggest Loser retrospective show, I fell asleep while reading a book. I woke up just in time to help get kids in bed. Then I fell back asleep again. Cindy will have to fill in the blanks (or the blankety-blanks....or blankety-blankety blanks....)

Crotchety Kids--PART II

Family Proclamation Week: Night 2

Unfortunately, tonight was more of a horror film than a Disney pic.

Kids were in bad moods with bad attitudes (let your imaginations run wild! Sorry, not wild enough!), which put the parents in bad moods, and it devolved steadily from there.
However, there were bits of sunshine peeking thru the dark and fell mists of despondency.
For the first time in 4+ years we updated our 72-hour kits and then Cindy had the great idea of putting them in an easy-to-access location!



And then I opened one of the 3600-calorie energy bars that had gone past the due date, and we all found it still quite edible. Kinda like a lemony cookie without a lot of sugar...(Cindy was the only one who didn't try it. She was chewing gum at the time. She didn't seem too dejected about missing this delectable dainty!)



Then Erin frosted a cake for dessert. At least the kids had a good attitude about this part of the evening!



We parents enjoyed this part too, as the deal was that if they got cake they would then go to their rooms for quiet time the rest of the night (it was only 8 PM).

Of course, it didn't quite work out that way. I had to help Erin study for a Social Studies test she 'remembered' at 7:45 PM, and the kids were less than quiet in their rooms.

Well, today is another day. Will it be good? Will it be bad? Will we survive? Stay tuned?
(At least I take some comfort in the fact that if the kids were ever to decide to leave home (or were kicked out) they would now have easy access to their 72-hour backpacks! Heck, I would probably let them take the tent too!)