to add insult to injury....literally ;(

Saturday evening Cameron ordered a gun with his hard earned and very well saved money. He said Thursday, the day it was expected to be delivered, was going to be the "best day of my life". Not anymore.....

The company just called to let us know they sold out. It is a refurbished gun and they told us they have more of the new ones in stock but it is a $70 price difference. Sorry buddy.....you are going to have to wait. One the bright side, at least you won't have to try and hold that gun with a sore arm and pierced fingers.

Gloom, Despair, and Agony on Me.....

Cameron has had a rough couple days.
On Friday he was sick on a day that school was again cancelled due to snow.
On Saturday he was diagnosed with strep and he started taking antibiotics
On Sunday he was fiddling down in the man-cave and somehow lost control of an 1/8th-inch-thick length of wire, and it went right through the upper joint of his left index finger, deftly scratching the neighboring finger to the right and burying the end of the wire into the fleshy pad below his thumb.
(And to make matters worse, he didn't even take the time to snap a photo before he pulled it out of his finger!)
He got to spend a couple hours in Urgent Care and a prescription for stronger antibiotics.
On Monday (today) he went to his pediatric doctor, where he got a tetanus booster that has made his whole arm hurt and a prescription for even STRONGER antibiotics. (He was also advised to wear safety glasses when playing with wire.)
But hey, it got him out of school.....and he celebrated by falling asleep on the couch at 2 PM.
Yep, that boy is plumb wore out! (Not that we're complaining, of course.....)

Posted without comment (nor coaching....)

Double Entendre

Sorry to return to bathroom anecdotes, but the other day while Ally was 'seeing a man about a dog,' Cindy commented to her, 'Boy, it seems like every time you go to the bathroom you have to poop! Why do you poop every time you go to the bathroom?'

She replied briefly (sans briefs), 'It's because I'm just a regular girl!'

A clever caveat ....

Tonight I did a kind deed for Ally--I untied a bathrobe sash from around her cute little neck.
When I finished she started walking away, so I called out,
"Aren't you going to give me a hug?"
She thought for a second, then replied 'Okay...' then she added the caveat, 'But don't touch my butt!'



Don't ask me!
I don't have a clue.
But she'd better remember to say that to all the boys until she's married!

OK, I Admit It....I Just Love Saying 'BLUR-CONFUSION'

Cameron's alias on YouTube is 'BlurConfusion' (don't ask me how he came up with this!) and he uses it in the videos he posts. When I serve as Trusty Patsy the cameraman I also love to use (abuse?) it.

Perhaps his best video is the sniper post one (with a smirky cameo by David P.) Take a gander if you're bored--or just want to be entertained by exuberant youthfulness!

Anyway, here are 2 snippets I shot of his exciting activities in the ice storm yesterday:

Images from Yesterday's Icy Wonderland

Cameron decided to go out with some neighbor kids to go sledding in the frozen rain.



The kid ain't got a lick of sense!
He proved true my warning to him as he left. I sang out, 'You've gotta be crazy!'
When he got back he said, 'THAT WAS THE FUNNEST SLEDDING I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE!!!'
Daddy 1, Crazy Boy 0.

Last night at 10 PM I snapped the following of our Linden Pear tree:



By morning the wind was gusting, and fortunately it knocked all the ice off of the trees.

Ice Storm Day 2

7:15 AM--Our Neighborhood Skating Rink



Our county is under a Level 3 Snow (Ice??) Emergency, which means that if you ain't an ambulance or a squad car, you'd better not be out on the roads.

School is closed, and even my work is closed today!

Prometheus Bound

Cameron and I went to a Gun and Knife Show at Hara Arena on Saturday (he's looking for a replacement air gun--the other one had a faulty safety, so we returned it). We struck out, but he did get 50 feet of 'ParaCord,'
What is ParaCord? Why, it is just the Holy Grail for an 11-year old boy who surfs YouTube a lot. It is thin but very strong rope.
Naturally, the first thing he did when he got home was take a video of this thin cord holding all his weight--it is now on YouTube. (Search for 'BlurConfusion,' his online alias.)
He also recently read a Houdini biography, which further expanded the usage of ropes in his fertile mind.
This was apparent yesterday, when he had his sisters hogtie him with his ParaCord so he could perform an escape.



He was hogtied nicely, but got out in about 30 seconds.

Then I hogtied him.



68 seconds later he was out.
He had balled his fists to expand his wrists and thereby gain more wiggle room (and besides, ParaCord is very thin, and I didn't want to have it digging into his delicate skin).

And what's on for tonight's entertainment?He wants me to hogtie him, then roll him up in a blanket and then tie the blanket up.

Prometheus (from Wiki): A Titan, he was a champion of mankind, known for his wily intelligence, who stole fire from Zeus and gave it to mortals. Zeus then punished him for his crime by having him bound to a rock while a great eagle ate his liver every day only to have it grow back to be eaten again the next day.

Love at Home

On Saturday Cindy and I went out to do some shopping, and the kids--recalling to my mind hungry baby birds chirp-chirp-chirping with their upward-reaching beaks gaping wide waiting for their mommy to leave a tasty worm (assuming, of course, that the mommy-bird has successfully ran Cameron's air gun gauntlet)--sang out that they wanted us to bring them back a treat.
Cindy said, 'We will buy a treat, but IF--I repeat--IF when we get home we hear that there has been fighting or hitting or other problems, you will get NOTHING. And I mean NOTHING!'

Cameron digested this, then offered this hypothetical: 'So, you're saying that as long as no one tells you anything, we get a treat?'

On that optimistic note, we left the house.

We returned to find the smiling visages of Erin and Cameron, ice cream bowls and spoons in hand.
We later found the 2 younger girls bound and gagged in a remote corner of the basement.

Okay, so that last bit was a lie. (Though, sadly, not beyond the realm of possibility.)

There were no problems (that we know of at this point), and everyone got ice cream.

Yes, miracles sometimes do happen, even at the Floyd house.

Vocabularily Challenged or Not Deceived by Appearances--You Decide!

Today Cindy was driving to Sam's Club with Ally, and they passed a business with a big frozen pond located next to the road.

Cindy called it to Ally's attention by saying, 'Look at that Ally!'
Ally excitedly responded, 'Look at all that water!'
Cindy gently corrected, 'That's not water--it's frozen!'
Ally rejoindered, 'No it's not! It's ICE!'

Questions:
1. Was Ally mistakenly thinking that the word 'frozen' was a noun?
2. Or was she letting her Mom know that the chemical composition of water is the same regardless of its liquid or solid state?
3. Or was she surreptitiously trying to remind her mom that she needed to express herself more clearly and precisely?
4. Or was she just being a smart-aleck?
5. Or was she just completely oblivious?

*correction from Cindy- Ally told me excitedly to look at the water. I said, "Wow! It's frozen." She said, "NO it's NOT! Its ice!"

Still a nice post Dear!

That is just gross!

Before bedtime tonight I was giving Erin and Kenner a 'face tickle.'

Background: This is a Floyd family tradition, of sorts. I believe it originated as a way to quiet whichever of me or my 7 siblings that were acting up in sacrament meeting. It consists of having the tickle-ee laying their head face-up on your lap and then taking a finger and lightly dragging it around their face--around eyeballs, lips, the chin, the nose, etc. It can sometimes have an almost hypnotic effect on kids.

Anyway, tonight I was having to do both of their faces at the same time, and as I rounded Erin's pug nose I lightly (and quickly!) plugged a nostril.

She dropped out of her dream state long enough to quip, 'Keep your finger out of there! That there's MY gold to pick!'

Straps, Smacks, and Racks

A number of months ago, Cindy put up a homemade shelf in Cameron's room. The intent was to give him a place to put more of his stuff so that his floor would stay clear. (As Cameron would say, 'That idea was an epic fail!' but her heart was in the right place.

This past week Cameron paid for a new gun (a handsome .22 air rifle (though with no compass in the stock...)) and so I took advantage of his shelf to fashion some stylish slings for it, using an old belt and some 80-lb test string, as can be seen below:

Once Cindy espied it, I ascertained that she was less than enthused about my handsome gun-sling (patent pending). (I was somewhat amused by her rendition of 'Crazy Coyote Yipping at the Wall'--I think it's a yoga exercise??) But as soon as she could vocalize her comments (this occurred soon after her 'Horse Hyperventilating as it Stamps Out a Fire' yoga routine....), it was clear that she wasn't shooting blanks.

I scampered out of range, reminding her as I zigged and zagged that I had just screwed a TINY hook into her shelf and that I thought the belt and hunter orange string looked rather rakish, not to mention no-cost!

She wasn't amused.

Being the considerate husband, I put the task of figuring out something better on my to-do list. I figured I would get it done about the same time Cindy got the remaining 3 shelves done (they've been gathering dust in the basement since October or so....)

That was Thursday.

Well, today I decided to see what the Internet had to offer in terms of gun displays, and 6-odd hours later, I came up with this:

Here it is from a different angle.

Best thing about it? It didn't cost a cent! I had a piece of scrap that I was able to cut up to just the right sizes!

Sadly, I had all the tools I needed too, so I didn't get to go to Menard's and pick up something handy!

Shootin' from the hip.....

Cindy posted this on Facebook yesterday:

Things you never want to hear your husband say to your 11 year old son..."Do you want me to do the first one, just in case it blows up?"

She forgot to mention Cameron's reply: An enthusiastic 'Yes!!'

This was the conversation we had after we upgraded the ignition system on his potato gun--we now use a fire starter flame instead of a puny spark.

Here is the video....



Yes, I did hit the deer.....(you can hear the 'thwwaappp'-like echo after the initial shot.

Like a surgeon??

On a recent Sunday afternoon Erin joined Cindy and I in the living room, and she sat down and started teasing us--about how we are so jealous of her amazingly good looks, etc. (The self-esteem-building power of a hair straightener is something to behold!)

She went on for a couple minutes (or so it seemed), and I finally acknowledged her existence and responded in monotone, 'Yeah. That's right Erin. Boy am I jealous of you. You hit the nail right on the head.'

She grinned and retorted 'That's right, Dad! You know it! You are soooo jealous! And hey, you are only one surgery away from being JUST LIKE ME!'

Cindy and I almost choked to death--we couldn't stop laughing!

Where does she come up with this stuff?? (Or more accurately, where does she HEAR about this kind of stuff!?)

I'm starting to see why the young women at church think she is such a hoot!

What Better Way to Spend a Snow Day?

Here he is with his trusty 'Spudnik'... or would it be 'Spudinator' or 'Spuddermeister Meisterspudder' or 'Spudulicious' or 'Taternator'? I think the jury is still out....



And here is his first YouTube contribution as a YouTube user. (Notice his 'YouTube Explanatory Voice.' Yes, it has been a busy day for him!



It fired, and according to Cameron it would've taken the nose off of the deer--if it still had a nose....or a head....

Here is a video of the entire process (after ramming a potato down the barrel)....



Now, this can be dangerous, so don't try it at home!

Further proof that Daddo is an enabler.....

Cameron has been obsessing about potato cannons and in one short week he has learned enough on the subject to become an expert.

Case in point: "When I am older and have some money I am going to make a potato gun that uses a Tazer as the ignition source in the combustion chamber. As for propellants, we can start with hairspray, then use car starter fluid, and then try Brut deodorant."

Case in point two: On Saturday we went to a Dollar Tree and purchased 2 butane fire starters (to serve as a cheap ignition system), then dropped by Menard's and picked up the 4" and 2" PVC piping, connectors, and threaded endcaps. Cameron didn't even need a list. We just rummaged around through the bins until we found what he needed. He was rattling off information non-stop "We need 10 inches of 4" pipe for the combustion chamber, then a 4" female threaded connector for the endcap, and a 4"-to-2" connector and then 4 feet of 2" pipe.

An hour after we got home it was all glued together.

2 hours after that we gave it a try. We couldn't get it to work.

We talked with Cameron's married cousin Josh (who grew up reading the book 'Backyard Ballistics' and has made many potato potato cannons, including one fueled by propane, equipped with a pressure gauge, valves and a computer fan to evenly mix the air and propane in the combustion chamber, and ignited by a Tazer. We won't go into what types of pyro activities his dear wife has done during her eventful life....let's just say it included fireballs and visits by the local authorities) and he gave us some pointers, the most important one being to use less fuel than more.

Tonight we went to Kroger's and bought some nice big potatoes and then tried it again, using less starter fluid and protecting the 2 electrodes in the chamber from the spray.

On the 3rd click of the starter, the gun boomed and a potato just barely missed the deer (our archery practice deer--now headless) in the back of the yard.

Cameron was then pumped up on adrenaline, and so we tried it again.

After 2 tries it finally went off again.

I am sure that Cameron is asleep right now dreaming of even better ignition systems.

I wonder what he's going to name his artillery piece?

Big Bertha? Ol' Betsy? Phil?

But but but.......

Last night's dinner conversation:

Daddo (I think): "... All except Mommy, who...."

Ally: "What does 'except' mean?"

Daddo: "It means, all BUT Mommy gets to....."

Ally: "Butt Mommy! Butt Mommy!" [Insert chortles here....]

Sound Judgment Hits at Age 4

A year ago our entire family watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy (extended versions) from the beginning to the 5+different endings. (We used 'Clearplay,' which cut out the especially gory scenes.)
Allyson (age 3.75 at the time) loved it. She especially loved Gollum, and for weeks thereafter would walk around the house saying 'My precioussss! My precioussss!' She watched it all with nary a sign of fear.
So during the current break this year she again expressed great interest in watching it.
So tonight we gave in and put it in. During the prologue she galloped halfway up the stairs 3 times when she thought things might be getting 'scary.' She took especial care to not be in front of the TV when there was an early cameo of Gollum.
In the end, Cindy took her upstairs to watch Toy Story 3.

I always said she was a smart girl!

The jury's still out on her Dad.....

Hmm....maybe she would like The Seven Samurai better...though I think I would get tired of reading the subtitles to her... (I've had the DVD for 8 months now, and I still haven't found the 208 minutes necessary to watch it!)

Touche!

Yesterday Kenner was up in our bedroom watching TV on our bed, where I found her shelling and eating peanuts from her Christmas stocking.
As her bag was getting full of empty shells, she began laying unshelled ones on the new bedspread.
I put a quick stop to that, telling her that I didn't want a lot of salt residue on the new bedspread.

So today I was cutting my toenails and temporarily putting the clippings on the bedspread.

Kenner walked in, did a double-take, and then dryly commented, 'And you were worried about a little salt?!'