Teething Pains

This afternoon I told Cindy about how I had been feeding Allyson a cracker at church and how she had clamped down HARD on my finger. 'Yep,' I went on, 'It really hurt!'

Surprisingly, she was less than empathetic.

'At least she only bit your finger!'

She then returned her focus to breastfeeding sweet Allyson.

Of course, you would think that it would be kinda hard to focus on something when you have one eye screwed shut and the other a mere slit, with your face turned half-away in a snarl-like grimace in anticipation[?] of Allyson again forgetting that she was getting liquid refreshment rather than a rib-eye!

How soon they forget.....

Last night Erin went to bed with a sore throat. She kinda blamed me, because I had been laid pretty low Thursday night with that and the chills.

Early this morning, Erin walked into the kitchen as I was lovingly making crepes for my sweet, dear, wonderful children (at no small sacrifice to myself, I might add--having dragged myself out of bed early, having had to trudge uphill while making my way downstairs, having had to first fashion a serviceable bowl out of wet leaves, (and please don't ask me about how I obtained the eggs!) etc., etc.)

She looked straight into my eyes, and in a quite matter-of-fact tone intoned, 'You know, I really hate you!' Obviously her throat was still hurting her, and she still blamed me. (Of course, there was a twinkle in her eye as she said this.) And actually, I think she was quite giddy inside, as this meant she would likely miss church--and she did!

So anyway, after church her friend showed up and Erin begged Cindy to let her friend stay. I believe the exchange went something like this.

'Mom, pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!'

'Erin, you've been sick and you're still not feeling too good!'

'Do you think that what I have is contagious?'

'Hmmm....let's think about this.....'
'

Needless to say, Cindy's stiletto-sharp logic quickly silenced our little lamb. (At least it made her just whine, instead of whining and pleading.)

At least I find solace in the fact that, after the above, Erin hated Cindy too!

Who was helping whom?

That is the burning question we all want to know.

Today was a gorgeous Saturday, and the kids were outside playing most of the day.

From early in the morning the kids (especially Cameron) were spending a lot of time hanging out in front of the house 2 houses above ours, watching all the activity. (A guy from my work bought the run-down house and is now turning it into a real showcase home!)

Today the menu was laying brick, so as time went on Cameron became more and more involved, helping to move some bricks (Erin helped too), then assisting in keeping the mortar fresh, and other odd jobs. He was working,and yet he was still having the time of his life!

Still the question remains.....

Was he helping them, or were they helping us by keeping Cameron away and occupied?

We'll have to think on this a bit more!

Lateral Thinking.....

(Lateral thinking, as I understand it, is about using something other that traditional logic to find solutions to problems.)

Confucius say, "Never cut head off lamb cake with samurai sword (even fake sword) with impressionable kids watching."

Based on the above [Easter 2004], I guess it really is my fault, but........

....anyway, tonight we were all outside at twilight, and we noticed that the neighbor kids across the street were trying to catch the big gray rabbit of the neighbor kids on our side of the street. [Is this clear? We sometimes get confused too!]

The mom of the kids came over and though she almost got within reaching distance a number of times, it finally scampered away again.

As this wound down and I went inside with Makenna to put a BandAid on her knee (see the posts below about her klutz 'issues' (in this case, she had tried to jump over a big flower pot)], she came up with her idea.

'Dad! Get your Japanese sword out and cut the rabbit!'

As I was wondering why this seemed like such a good idea to her, she went on, 'I want the lucky feet! I want the lucky feet!'

Heaven knows she needs more luck....and I do feel sorry for her, as she is still on Month 6 waiting for the goldfish to die so that she can have her turn to flush one down the toilet!

And yes, to reiterate, it is my fault that she thinks like this!

Bathroom humor

Let me start by noting that it is a rule of thumb amongst lawyers to never ask a question of a witness unless they already know the answer.

Let me also note that our sweet 10-year-old Erin is no lawyer.

The Scene
This evening as Cindy was assisting Erin in her bathroom cleaning chores, Erin suddenly asked her, 'How old do I have to be to kiss?'
Erin went on to explain that in the Mary Kate and Ashley movie she had watched earlier, those 2 gals were kissing boys at the tender age of 15!
Cindy simply replied, 'Oh, you're gonna be a lot older than that!'

The Trap
Erin then tried some strategerizing to trap Cindy into disclosing contradictory behavior. Flashing a knowing[?] grin, she slyly asked, 'Well, how old were you when you first kissed?'

The Hammer Drops
Cindy gaily replied, 'I was 21!'
Erin's jaw dropped. Cindy was left guessing as to whether this was due to shock or just plain disappointment.
There were no further questions. Case closed!

Dancin' Queen

Cindy, Allyson and I went to a ward spaghetti dinner/dance last night, and once the fast music started, all Allyson wanted was to be out on the floor where the action was, as she bobbed her head in rhythm to the music, clapping her hands, and--or so it appeared to me--did some hip-shakin'!
I think she might've even enjoyed that more than the sampling of many, many desserts!

Let me say, however, that it wasn't easy dancing as a threesome!

A new year of fishing....

Yesterday Cindy brought the kids up at the end of work, and after the usual roaming of the halls and cubicles in search of candy (any bowl on any desk--even on a VP's desk--is fair game to their greedy fingers), Cindy drove off with just Allyson and a big elated grin.
I was left with the terrible threes, and after bathroom breaks for the girls, we set up the poles and went fishing at the pond.
Using hotdogs as bait, Cameron caught 2 right away, and then Makenna caught 1, and then Erin started pulling in lots of the little bluegills.
Erin (AKA 'I get bored with most everything really quick' Erin) had brought along a real lifesaver--her MP3 player--and she grooved to the music as she patiently waited for bites and even baited her own hook!
After 45 minutes, Erin and Makenna went off to play by the car, but Cameron was still fishing with real intent--Erin had caught 5 and he had only caught 4. (Makenna had also caught 5, but, as he pointed out repeatedly, that didn't count because I had hooked the last 2 for her.)
15 minutes later he was up to 8, and we finally headed home.

I don't know about the kids, but that was the best fishing trip I've been on with them 3 of them in years! (Even though Makenna did get the tip of a fishhook in her finger which drew some blood--see the post somewhere below about her being accident-prone!)

Emulation IS the best form of adoration!

As I was changing Allyson's diaper yesterday, she decided to pass the time by perusing a paper.



Next time I'll get her the page with a crossword!

Seven plagues of Egypt?

First it was a flood (which rhymes with BLOOD!).
Then it was a wire (which rhymes with FIRE!)
Then it was a clog (which handily rhymes with FROGS!)
And now it is more fire (which even more than rhymes with FIRE!?)

More specifically:
We had a small drippy leak in the ceiling on the first floor 3 weeks ago, then on Friday the phone went dead due to outside phoneline probs, then today there was a kitchen sink clog (too much spaghetti for the InSinkerator to handle), and just an hour ago the neighbor kids were playing with gasoline and lit their garage on fire.

Our kids enjoyed the 20-odd emergency and police personnel and about 7 emergency response units.



Now the only question is, what calamities that at least rhyme with the plagues will strike us next? (Any good ideas of a rhyme for 'locust' or 'first-born'?)

Our new neighbor!

Last week Cindy found a bird in the kids' toy shopping basket out by our back door.

Mama bird had obviously decided that the balmy weather at that time was perfect, and decided to make the basket her birthing center.

I didn't see it until yesterday when, focused on another errand, I walked out the back door and that bird blasted out of the basket like a pheasant on steroids (or, as that old Indian might've said, 'Like a pheasant on hemorrhoids!') Kinda startling, you might say! However, my bladder, et al., did not fail me, and I was able to espy 2 little eggs.

Here is the little minx!

Hey dad, you wanna have a catch?

Before the deep freeze settled back in, Cameron and Erin got out the b-ball gloves and started playing catch.

And based on even their own accounts, they were both actually catching the ball!

Cameron begged me to play catch with him, and he did pretty darn good, so, for your viewing pleasure....

Did we ever mention that Allyson likes spaghetti?

Klutz extraordinaire

In previous years we have praised Makenna for the care with which she has carried plates, cups full of juice, etc., from table to sink, etc. This has remained unchanged.

However, when it comes to moving herself with care from place to place, to call it 'flitting' as she twirls, goofs around, and does everything but pay attention is putting it mildly.

As a result, every 5~10 minutes you hear the clarion weep of 'OoohOohhOwwwOwww' as she has again been flung to the floor by an inelastic wall that she first crashed into, or perhaps bumped a toe, banged a knee, thumped an elbow, bashed her head, crushed a finger, poked her eye, grazed her ear....it's a regular anatomy lesson (or lesion?)

Obviously the words, 'Makenna! You need to be more careful and watch where you are going!' do not compute.

This in no small part explains the look of sheer terror and the violent squirming of Allyson whenever Makenna tries to pick her up. It also explains why once she is in Makenna's arms she becomes almost statuesque in her movements--in some innate way she obviously senses that any superfluous motion could cause her already-shaky host to teeter over the brink.

How some brains think.

Erin and then Cameron woke up at 7 AM, but the rule is that you can't go downstairs and look for candy and easter baskets until all the kids are up--and Makenna was still sawing logs.

After about 20 minutes, they started getting antsy, and at 7:15 Cindy said they would have to wait until 8 AM to wake up Makenna. Cameron, his mind whirling, rushed over to our CD/radio/clock on the nightstand and jabbered about how he was going to change the time to make it 8 AM.
As we told him not to, he was busy trying the figure out the controls, mumbling to himself, "FM? What does that mean? Farting Machine?"

He gets an 'A' for being imaginative, and an 'F' for being, well...you know....

Five minutes later we gathered around Makenna's bed and sang 'Jingle Bells' to ring in the frigid holiday!

Easter dresses.....again!

Yes, it is that time of year.
My pocketbook cries as Erin and Makenna connect the dots every year and of their own volition (unless Cindy is even sneakier than I think....) start their persistent angling for Easter dresses.

Yes, I know that this is just a fact of life--that I just need to buck up and put up the big bucks so Cindy can plop it down at Kohls.

Leaving it all (i.e., the credit cards) in Cindy's able hands, Erin got 2 outfits yesterday, and Makenna got one.

Pictures to follow soon. (That is also a tradition that it is best to not get me started on....=)

The kids should should look quite stunning in their spring dresses in the snowy 20-degree weather!

Update: Here they is!

Allyson is steppin' out!

She is getting more daring in her two-legged forays, and is tottering around quite a bit, especially if you are holding out something she wants to get her hands on.

I foresee the scads of Easter candy in the house serving that purpose quite nicely, and knowing how much she loves chocolate, she could easily by sprinting by Friday!

I just hope the kids don't just try to tease her with the candy, as she would probably also end up possessing a serviceable death-grip by Friday too!

UPDATE: Maybe it was the chocolate, or maybe not, but today (Sunday) Allyson was walkin' all over the place! I measured at least one 15-foot walk at church, and Cindy said that she was even more active earlier! I think this is now her preferred method of locomotion.

What month is this again?

It's a big mystery to us....on Christmas it was 50 degrees. Now on Easter weekend there are snow flurries and the kids went to the big easter egg hunt and looked for candy in a 1/4-inch of snow and occasional snow flurries!
The upside of this is that attendance at the EE hunt was about 1/3 the normal, so the kids' takes were relatively vast!
Not surprisingly, Cameron did the best in terms of weight and variety of candy.

Muted

I went with Cameron to the dentist today--2 small fillings and then sealant to prevent other cavities.
Needless to say, he didn't say a word to either the hygienist or dentist. He just nodded or shook his head, and when asked a point-blank question he would just grimace or get a tight grin.
The various procedures went without a hitch (no needles were required), and we came home.
Cameron then went back up to his room due to all his mouthiness before and after school.
He also missed out on ice cream for the same reason. That is truly just desserts--you might even say it is the one dessert that prevents cavities!

Train up a child.....

Today Cindy and Erin concentrated on cleaning up Erin's room especially nice. Cindy was especially eying the egregious eyesore that was her bookcase.

Amazingly, Erin attacked it with gusto, even adjusting the height of the shelves to better fit the displayed accoutrements of girldom.

And she did a really great job!

Cindy congratulated her, saying, 'You're a regular Martha Stewart!.....By the way, do you know who she is?'

'Yeah,' Erin replied, 'She's a lady who slaves all day!'
* * * * * * *
Which reminds me of a recently read joke (especially funny as Cindy and I have had some fun spoofing some of the advice in Fascinating Womanhood)!

A boy asked his mother the following question: "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"
The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."

The boy thanks his mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. "Dad why are wedding dresses white?"

The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."

A Tale of One _____ [Rhymes with 'City']

Feeling rather worn after dealing with Erin and Cameron, Cindy was talking to Makenna and me, dreamily wishing, 'I wish I had a big piece of chocolate cake right now!'

At that point, Makenna turned around to show off a balloon she had stuffed up her shirt.

Cindy told her, 'You don't need any--you've eaten enough already!'

Cindy tried to pull down on the balloon string, to which Makenna said, "Hey, don't pull on my stomach!"

'Your stomach? It goes up to your chin!!!'

'Then don't pull on my boob! she rejoindered, demurely adjusting her one protruding bosom.