The first day of school....

The kids had a nice, easy first day of school yesterday.
Cindy, on the other hand, was up at 6 AM with Erin (her bus comes by at 7 AM), got the other 2 kids ready (Cameron, who woke up at 7:30, was pretty miffed that we didn’t wake him up early so he could play on the computer), and then she spent 7+ hours basically cleaning the house from top to bottom and also canning 11 quarts of tomatoes. (Ally and her neighbor friend shuttled back and forth between their respective houses during much of this time.)
Things really picked up in the afternoon:
At 3:15 Erin called to say she had forgotten her volleyball practice clothes, so Cindy had to wait for the younger kids to get home (Ally was napping) so she could take her clothes.
I got home at 4:15 and hurriedly put together another batch of salsa (Cindy had scalded, skinned, and chopped up the tomatoes earlier that day.)
Cindy left at 5:20 to pick up Erin from practice.
At 5:50 I took Kenner to a soccer game, where I spent most of the game watching Ally and the same friend (the coach’s daughter) play. Kenner’s team won.
At 6:20 Cindy took Erin had an open house/orientation at the JH.
After the game I finished hot-water bathing Cindy’s tomatoes and pressure-cooking the salsa, cleaning up the kitchen as I went.
Cindy and Erin got home at 8:30, and Cindy enjoyed some leftover chocolate birthday cake and ice cream as her only dinner.
We got the younger kids bathed and into bed, then Cindy spent over an hour helping Erin organize all her binders, folders, notebooks, pencils, pens, and other learning paraphernalia.
I finished cleaning up the kitchen, brought all the bikes and scooters into the garage, pulled the Prizm into the garage, swept the kitchen floor, and then went upstairs to fold some laundry that Cindy had found time to do earlier in the day.
We both collapsed at about 10:30.
And it starts again today.......

An ‘80s Moment

With the demise of Michael Jackson, Cameron was introduced to Weird Al and his Michael Jackson spoofs at a relative's house. I must admit that I was an enabler after that, helping all the kids access the YouTube videos. Anyway that was awhile ago.

So this morning Cindy is in the computer room with Ally, who was in a rather daffy mood.
Out of the blue, Ally pokes her butt out at Cindy and shakes it, singing, ‘My butt is wide...’ (I guess she hasn’t memorized the rest of the lyrics--thank goodness for small miracles!)
(To understand the context, go to YouTube and search for “Weird Al Fat” to see his spoof of MJ’s ‘Bad.’ In terms of pop culture, it is a work of genius--esp. if you’ve seen MJ’s original (also on YouTube).)

As an aside, both Ally and Makenna still spontaneously break out singing, ‘Like a Surgeon.....making a cut for the very first time.’ (Another Weird Al spoof of a Madonna song--which explains his poses towards the end of the video....)

The kids all like his song‘I Won on Ebay' too.

DISCLAIMER: Please view responsibly. The Floyd Family shall be held blameless for any psychological damage resulting from the viewing of such videos (though they are clean) or for children singing the songs in improper venues, such as 'Don't you call me pudgy, portly or stout, let me tell you once again, who's fat!'

Name that smell!

The hot and humid summer days and nights finally arrived 10 days ago, and it has finally spurred the tomatoes in the garden to start turning red in usable quantities.
On Wednesday night, I made a big batch of salsa for canning, and Cindy took the rest of the tomatoes and filled 6 quart jars.

All the kids love to eat my salsa, and I thought they would be overjoyed, but once again they have wronged me, grinding me under their heels. (Isn’t there a scripture warning kids about the evils of doing just that?)

As Cindy related, ‘I was upstairs with Kenner and Ally and they asked, ‘What is that smell?’ I told them that it was the smell of Daddy’s salsa. Sweet Allyson, who is only three, retorted, ‘Nuh-uh! It’s a fart!’

Personally, I’ve never smelled any variety of such emanations (including those invidious SBDs) that smelled like a delicious combination of fresh tomatoes, onions, garlic, and green & jalapeno peppers, but then again....

Them Floyds (and Direct Relations....)

At my sister's house last night we played a number of parlor games.

One of them was quite simple--a person walked out of the room, changed something about their appearance, then walked back in a everyone tried to guess what was different. My sister put her dress on inside-out for this game, and left if that way the rest of the night.

Another game was Psychiatrist, where someone is selected to leave the room, then everyone else decides on some rule for how to answer questions, then the person comes back in and asks questions to different people until they figure out the rule. For example, When it was Makenna's turn to leave the room, the 'rule' was that all answers had to start with an animal noise. Another 'rule' was that the answer had to start with the first letter of your own first name.

Anyway, I told you that to tell you this:

During 1 round, the rule was that when we were answering a question we had to do whatever my nephew Ben was doing at the time. He started off easy--he would scratch his head, or swing his arms around, or make kissing faces--and then really got into the groove of things.

And when it was Cindy's turn he took his shirt off and sat there bare-chested. Cindy of course had the presence of mind to not mimic him that time--though no one but the questioner wouldn've seen anything anyway through the veil of tears wrought by hysterical laughter.

Literally speaking????

I was making a double batch of brownies this morning and instead of putting them in 2 9x13 pans I thought it would fit in my large 11x15 jelly roll pan. During the cooking process they started to raise far enough above the rim of the pan to roll over the edge and then fall onto the bottom of the oven resulting in a somewhat smokey and stinky kitchen. (Darn it...I had just cleaned the oven a few weeks ago too!)
The neighbor girl walked home with Allyson and upon entering the kitchen said, "It smells bad in here."

"Yes." I replied, "I am burning something in my oven. Rats!"

"WHY?"

Then figuring it was easier to show than explain that my pan was too small and the food was falling off the edges I took her to the oven to see for herself. I opened the oven door and she looked inside.

"That's not Rats!" she said.

I couldn't disagree with her. Good thing I didn't say, "Bummer!"

Fatherly Compassion

In one of her last rushed preparations for camp last night, Erin decided that she needed to shave her legs.

A couple minutes later I heard her yelling out to me.

Walking in, I see her sitting on the edge of the bathtub (suitably clothed, of course) with her feet in about 6 inches of still-rising water, a razor in one hand, a bloody washcloth in the other.

Looking to where she was focusing her energies, I saw a narrow stream of blood cascading from the side of her knee, where she had evidently nicked herself pretty good.

Always the loving father, I remained calm and gave her the following instructions:

‘TURN THAT WATER OFF! THAT IS WAY TOO MUCH WATER FOR JUST SHAVING YOUR LEGS!!!’

After she turned the water off, I proceeded to get her a piece of tissue paper and explain how it would help stop the bleeding and aid in the coagulation process.

For some strange reason, Cindy burst out laughing when Erin explained the above unfolding of events to her.

I can only assume that Cindy is still somewhat lacking in the compassion department.

Summer Vacation Cabin Fever?

A couple days ago Cindy was walking by Erin’s room, when she noticed Erin making a sign on a piece of paper.

Looking over her shoulder, she read, ‘Monkey is in labor. Please do not disturb.’’

Puzzled about its meaning, she looked into Erin’s room.

She saw the following scene:

Erin’s big monkey was lying on the bed dressed in a frumpy dress that looked somewhat like a maternity gown, and her other monkey was at its side, holding its hand.

Cindy chuckled in quiet amusement as Erin proceeded to tape the sign on her door.

An hour later Cindy and Erin went off to run a couple errands, and Cindy asked her, “Oh, so you left your monkey alone in labor?”

“Not at all,” she replied in a professional tone, “I put some quiet music on to help her relax.”

Later on in the day, Cindy asked her how the monkey was doing.

Erin replied brightly, “She’s still pushing. She’s still pushing.”

Some time later Cindy heard Erin upstairs screaming wildly.

Wondering if she had hurt herself, Cindy asked her what the problem was.

Erin yelled out, “It’s a boy! It’s a boy!”

POSTSCRIPT: Later in the day Cindy saw Erin’s sign again. Sometime during the day she had added the following:

“Progress: [Daddy] Bear passed out. Sponge-Bob passed out.”

I hope Erin's camp teaches ladylike etiquette...

Sweet Erin was in the kitchen when she came up with what she thought was a wonderful idea!

"I know!" she gushed, "I should try to freeze my spit!"
She promptly began hawking into a cup.

Fortunately I was nearby, and between my gagging I was able to put a stop to that idea.

Frozen spit?

There is no way I would allow her to do that--at least not until she filled her mouth with something to flavor it first, like Hershey's syrup, Oreos, etc.

Songs from the heart!

Allyson has turned into our little singer. Any moment she will start singing. She like "The Wheels on the Bus", "Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama, my first word.", "Jingle Bells", and "Old McDonald". All of these have their own rendition, in fact, the Mama song is one Makenna sang at a school program and is actually supposed to be "have you heard" instead of "my first word". My favorite song she sings is "I am a Child of God". This is her way of singing it.

"Teach me.
Guide me.
You walk me by my street"

Puts a smile on your face every time.

On another singing note. Since Michael Jackson died the kids have started enjoying his songs more and more. Of course since we are not really Michael Jackson fans we like the weird Al versions. Now Makenna walks around singing , "Fat! Fat!" and Cameron and Erin prefer the, "Like a Surgeon" while striking some strange pose with one arm pointing up and the other down with their legs split.

An Extended Hiatus

Well, things have been extremely busy recently, and the blog has suffered. Will it continue to suffer? Only time will tell.

In the past month a lot has occurred:
1. School has ended
2. Erin and Kenner have joined the swim team
3. The basement has been carpeted and is now mostly finished (?)
4. My mom came out for a visit
5. We have 2 new sets of neighbors--across the street and to our right, and we'll have the ones to our left next week
6. I had to change the van brakes
7. Erin has taken a liking to mowing the lawn
8. Cameron attended Cub Scout Camp

and lots of other unremembered stuff.....

Anyway, I'll try to do better....

All Hail, King of Condiments

There are so many things to love Ally for:

She loves to snuggle;
She is (mostly) potty-trained both day and night;
She is truly penitent after being punished;
She loves her Dad (and sometimes deigns to show some affection towards her Mom);
She is usually very happy;
She docilely agrees to take naps and go to bed;

But of course the thing I love the most is her love for mayonnaise sandwiches.
She loves them for breakfast, and lunch, and dinner! And for a between-meal snack too!

May her lips never meet that foul, festering effluvium from Heck known as Miracle Whip!

Ticked Pink!

A couple weeks ago Cindy went into the bathroom to help Ally, and I can only assume that she stopped to adjust her hair in the mirror.
Anyway, the next thing I hear is a frantic, “Louis Louis LOUIS!!!”
She then rushed out to where I was, bowed her head down, pointed at it, and continued, “Is this a tick? Is this a TICK? IS THIS A TICK?”
Sure enough, just above her forehead hairline there was a cute little brown thing with legs that was securely attached to her scalp.

I tried to calm her down, jovially commenting, ‘Well, you sure are lucky that it’s not engorged yet, so it couldn’t have been there for too long!’

Then I ran.

For the tweezers (and maybe for my life?)

Fortunately, I was able to pull it out rather easily.

As I said to her, ‘And all these things shall be for thy experience....’

Fortunately I was far enough away by then to escape being cut in two by her light-saber eyes.

Mary Poppins Would Be Aghast!

It became clear last week that in her treks around the neighborhood and the surrounding hills and fields that Kenner had come into contact with some poison ivy. She developed a couple red streaks near her right eye and on her eyelid, and the doctor said to bring her in because it was in such a sensitive area.
She was given a prescription for some liquid, which the doctor warned would not taste too pleasant. However, he explained, she could wash it down each time with a spoonful of Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup.
Kenner, who, when she doesn’t want to comply with a request, has nearly perfected her repertoire of whinings, groanings, and gruntings to the level of performance art (admittedly a low bar), has never been so eager--make that ecstatic--to take her medicine.
Of course, it doesn’t hurt that we were out of chocolate syrup and had to substitute a spoonful of rich, creamy hot fudge topping (served cold in order to get a bigger glob on the spoon).
[Photo to follow later]

Apt Analogy

Cindy called me at work today.

I could tell she was in the middle of cleaning, as she asked me where she could put certain items of mine that had somehow ended up downstairs. (I can't imagine how!?)

I, being stupid beyond my years, commented, 'You're really tearing things up!'

After a moment of silence, she replied, "No, this is what I do every single day."

Certainly with no urging from me she continued, 'Do you remember when I said that everything I do around the house would be like you working all day on a translation and then your manager walking by and hitting the Delete button and then saying, 'Please do it all over again' e-v-e-r-y s-i-n-g-l-e d-a-y?'

Yes, I got the picture. And, amazingly enough, I DID remember when she had previously made such a comment!

And now I am recording it here for posterity so that I don't forget it ever again!

Hopefully, anyway.....

What housing slump?

In the past month about 10 lots have sold in our neighborhood. We now have a house across the street (it just got sheet-rocked), a house to the right of us (framed but not sheet-rocked), and two lots on the left of us all staked out to be dug.

Sigh.

We were hoping to have a small neighborhood for a lot longer! (At the neighborhood party we had in late March (a goodbye party for 'Mr. Joe' as he was deploying) we had45 out of the 47 neighbors attend--and the 2 that couldn't make it still brought a dessert over!)

Fortunately, if they develop the next section it will be on the other side of the neighboorhood--not behind us--so we should have a couple more years of living on the "edge of civilization."

But I will add that the dumpster diving at the worksites has yielded some nice treasures!

Zippidee Zoo da!

Two week ago Friday was stellar weather and it was spring break for the kids, so I took half a day off and we all went to the Cincinnati zoo!

Unfortunately, so did all the denizens of Southern Ohio--I ended up dropping the fam off near the main gate and then driving around for a half-hour until I found an empty space on a sidestreet (and not a nice sidestreet either....)

Ally was really excited, and just as she hoped for, she got to see everything that Penelope saw in the 'Penelope Goes to the Zoo' story I made up years ago for Cameron or Kenner. Yep, elephants (elephant poop plays a leading role in the story), giraffes, lions, pretty birdies, and--the perennial favorite--the monkeys with the red butts! (Japanese monkeys.)

Photos.....

Here we are looking at the flamingoes...(use your imagination!)



(You will notice that Cameron is smiling and Kenner is not....I bet a psychologist could deduce a lot from this photo! And, though it looks like I am a translated being (that's a laugh!), it is just a smudged lens.)

And Erin even got to ride the choo-choo train, one of her lifelong goals. (Yeah, and it's $3 per head for about a 4-minute ride--I would have been happy to have made Erin wait much longer!)



Just before we left we got this photo:



Anyway, we had a good day--and we did not make the mistake of trying to stop at IKEA on the way home like we did last year--that was a FIASCO!

Bad influences at school....

Schools can be hotbeds of verminous influences on our children, and it is especially insidious when it is something that is sponsored and sanctioned by the school.

If it were only cruelty to animals (such as cats, especially) that would have been more stomachable, but NOOOOoooooooooooooo, it school-sanctioned cruelty to the most vulnerable in society. Yes, I am speaking of cruelty to vegetables!

Over a month ago his school had an assembly, where the world-record playing card long-distance throwing champ (an Ohio native) came to the school to amaze and amuse. He deftly threw the cards and sliced through carrots, cukes, watermelon slices, and who knows what else.

It was an epiphany for Cameron.

He watched the guy on a number of YouTube videos to get the throwing method down, and then began going through a bag of carrots, a bunch of celery, and whatever veggie he could find.

And I must admit that he is pretty good!



But like any addiction--he just can't get enough of it! Though it has been a long time, cards are still whizzing around our house at all hours of the day and night, and it is really pitiful to see him begging to be taken to DollarTree to get a 2-deck pack.

All I can say is that I am glad he has now found a use for his Pokemon cards.

Anyway, here he is in action....

Big Threesies

Ally celebrated the big 3 birthday last week.



In my family as a kid, if you wanted Mom to make you a cake you had to do extra chores that day (none of this namby-pamby 'Oh sunshine of my life, this is your special day and you can do whatever you want because you are so special!')

To bypass this requirement, by age 12 I was proficient at making my own cake from scratch. It was usually a 12-egg angel food cake (cake mixes were for those sorry wimps in other households who couldn't cook--or at least had more money!)

Though Cindy came from the above-scorned 'wimpy' family culture and has kindly yet firmly lifted me up by the neck and told me that things are going to remain their way on birthdays, obviously Ally wasn't taking any chances and was at least learning the ropes just in case the policy were to ever change....

What the heck!?

That, in a nutshell, is Ally's new catchphrase--usually said with a grin and a wave of her hand.

As in last Thursday when Cindy told her, 'You need to get dressed because you are going to M's house to play!'

'I get to go to M's house?'

'Yes!'

'I get to go again?...[Big grin].......What the heck!'

Through a pyro child's eyes

Last Saturday Cameron and I made our first fishing trip trek of the season to the company pond.

I caught a lot of small bass, and he caught a lot of bluegill.

Anyway, on the way there I pointed to some blooming trees, exclaiming that I sure liked those dogwood trees with their purplish blossoms.

He looked at them, and then commented, 'Yeah. And I bet they'd burn good too!'