A long time coming...

We have our struggles in our home. One of them includes sibling rivalry. It seems particularly bad with Cameron and Makenna. I have tried many things to try and stop it and to teach my children to love each other.
Cameron currently earns tickets for good behavior. When he get a certain amount he is rewarded with a trip to the dollar store or they can be exchanged for money (he is saving up for something). Sooo.....with that in mind I challenged him...
"If you can have a perfect day getting along with Makenna I will give you 2 tickets."
I wrote it in a notebook he keeps for notes from us and told him to check it this morning.
Makenna got out of bed at the usual time this morning while Cameron took a bath first thing.
By the time he got downstairs for breakfast she was done eating and had gone back upstairs to get ready for school. This was our conversation.

Cameron: Where is Makenna?

Me: She has already eaten and is upstairs getting dressed for school.

Cameron: How did that little sweetie eat so fast?

Okay....maybe not much to you but to me....Priceless. Come on...Cameron calling Makenna "SWEETIE!" I never thought the day would come.

Tug of War

Cindy was dropping by my work with Ally, and as the the building came in sight Cindy pointed to it and asked, 'Who is in there?'

Ally got excited and said, 'Daddy is in there!'

She then added, 'He is a handsome prince!'

To reconfirm what she had just heard, Cindy asked, 'What did you say?'

Ally replied again, 'He is a handsome prince!'

Cindy replied, 'Yes, Daddy is MY handsome prince.'

Ally retorted, 'No, MY handsome prince!'

Cindy, her voice edged in carbide, cooed back, "No, Daddy is MY handsome prince!'

Knowing when to quit (the only one of the three who has mastered this trait), Ally relented. 'Yes, Daddy is YOUR handsome prince.'

And then added, 'And you go to the ball!"

Then after thinking a moment came back with, "And I am Sleeping Beauty!"

Black Friday

As usual, Cindy was out of the house at 3:42 AM, and returned sometime after 4 PM. I rode herd on the kids, and kept them all in line. Though I cleaned the kitchen and other various rooms, being a dad, there were some things I didn't quite get around to, such as Ally's hair.....



In case you were wondering, I did clean up around her mouth, yet I feel very fortunate that you cannot see her non-color-coordinated pants.

Erin and Kenner also did their bit, demonstrating a little ditty that they learned somewhere:



It was very good day--at least up until bedtime....but if every day were perfect, we wouldn't appreciate those perfect days. Of course, on the flip side, it would be nice to experience them at least on the 'decade plan.'

Young minds thinking hard....

The kids have been busy writing up their Christmas lists in anticipation of Cindy's 12-hour foray on Black Friday.

Erin, for example, again wants a cell phone. We have laughingly brushed this off before, but she is very persistent.

Listen in on her conversation with Cindy:

Erin: 'Don't interrupt me Mom. Just listen to what I have to say. If I get a cell phone for Christmas, I promise I won't go over on the minutes. But IF I DID, I would pay for everything it costs for going over.'
Cindy: 'OK. That sounds like a good idea.'
Erin: With a newly spawned big grin....'Really? Then...then I can get a cell phone?'
Cindy: 'No.'
Erin: 'But you said it was a good idea!'
Cindy: 'Yes. You said IF you got a cell phone you would pay if you went over. IF you got one, yes, you would pay. And you're not getting a cell phone.'

Cindy has just finished relating the above to me, and just made this comment at the end, 'I just love spinning a web, sucking them in, then sucking out their blood! That poor delusional girl! Yeah, she thinks we're gonna get her a cell phone--she can't even keep track of her shoes! Or her toothbrush on most days! Or her backpack! Or her clothes! Or her earrings!'

(I would like to say that she said the preceding in a lucid, straightforward manner, but she was actually convulsing into paroxysms of laughter between each word.)

She continued between debilitating laughs, 'And on a totally unrelated subject, she asked for a razor to shave her legs today--heck, she can't even clip her own fingernails!'

'Erin probably thinks I am the meanest mother in the world!'

Probably. And since I am the one posting this, she will probably think the same about her Daddo!

What a crappy neighborhood!

Cindy and I went out to do some pre-Friday shopping and some errands, and when we got home we found that flocks consisting of thousands of migratory birds had been flitting around our entire neighborhood and the surrounding fields.

As they flitted hither and yon in synchronized patterns, they also bombed the entire neighborhood.

In case you are interested, such little birds obviously love to eat red berries. With little seeds. And also some other roughage of a variety not clearly ascertained (no pun intended) except through more detailed analyses of their spoor than I am willing to undertake.

Let's just say that the entire neighborhood looks like the aftermath of a battle of epic proportions between toy soldiers--after the ambulances have taken away the casualties.

I should never doubt my genius....

Makenna called me at work to tattle on Erin tonight—but in a chatty way, so I knew that no violence had taken place (Kenner has perfected the art of crying mightily from even the slightest touch).

Then Erin got on the other phone to deny what Kenner was tattling about, and to go on and say that Kenner had wanted her to do it ('it' being whatever it was that she said she didn’t do that she did).

In the end, they were competing, each telling me that they loved me more than the other one. I had a meeting to get to, and since they wouldn’t stop talking, I had a brilliant idea.

I told the girls, ‘The one who loves me the most will be the one who hangs up first!’

The phone lines went dead.

I grinned at my evil genius.

Of course, 2 seconds later my phone rang. It was Erin.

‘Dad, just to let you know, I hung up first! I love you! Goodbye!’

A Real Kisseroo!

The other day while I was holding Ally, Cindy instructed Ally to give me a big kiss.

She put her hands on my cheeks, puckered her lips, made lip contact, and then maintained said contact for a full five seconds. She pulled back, smiled, and then came in for another kiss, this time pressing harder and closing her eyes. She then pulled away (surfacing for air?) then did it again, this time putting one arm around my neck, and the other one around my head, playing with the hair on the back of my head.

My first thought, was ‘What the....???’

My second thought was, ‘She’s been watching the kissing scenes in those Antonio Banderas ‘Zorro’ movies too much!’

My third thought was, ‘When she reaches her teenage years, she will be under lock and key!’

My fourth thought was, ‘I wonder if I need to bring up the subject of ‘No tongue’??’

Cindy just chortled—and chortled and chortled and chortled--Ally had done the same to her earlier.

(We just hope it was something picked up from a movie, and not from experience! Do we need chaperones in nursery?? haha)

Prophetic counsel for our time

This is kind of long but the prophetic counsel given from Elder Maxwell back in 1978 is amazing.

Pee at last, pee at last, thank thee mightily, pee at last!

Ally sat on her little potty and did her trick tonight. That is the second time in two days!

We patted her on the head and gave her a piece of chocolate.

She cackled with glee!

And though it is currently just a 1-act show, we're hoping for a second act (a.k.a. Act #2) to be added to her repertoire soon!

Modern-Day Slavery 101

Erin, like many girls her age, is 11 and acts like thirteen (with the accent definitely on 'TEEN').

She had some chores assigned to her today, so as Cindy and I were telling her to chop-chop and get it done, she commented, "Why should I have to do it? I'm not your slave!"

I grinningly replied, 'And your Mom and I were not put on this earth to be your slave to clean up your messes either.'

She volleyed back with a grin, 'It's not my fault I was born--it's yours!'

Cindy calmly replied, 'That may be so, but it's not a mistake we can undo!'

'Not easily, anyway.' I added helpfully.

Erin then gave Cindy an affronted look, and responded, 'Wait a minute! Did you say mistake? Are you saying I was a mistake?'

We both just smiled sweetly back at her.

Actually, she was no mistake, but she is surely mistaken about what is and isn't slavery--especially for a minor!

She'll never make a psychiatrist rich with that attitude!

At bedtime after putting Cameron to bed, Cindy came into the bedroom and made the following comment in a semi-frustrated tone:

"How is it that you can't engage him in any sort of conversation during the day, but when you're tucking him in bed he has lots of things he wants to talk about and can't ever seem to stop talking?"

I replied soothingly, 'It sounds like you need to relax--to let it all out. Why don't you blog about it?'

"Hah!" she replied, "Blogging doesn't help relieve stress--it just makes me relive it!!"

It's Not Fair!

My oldest daughter can be quite a joy...at times, at other times....not so much.
Mornings. Not so much. Today....definitely not so much!
We have the luxury of having the school bus pick the kids up right in front of our house and taxi them to school. I love it. He comes at 8:20 and they need to be ready by then.
Every morning I go into each of the kids' rooms and wake them up at 7:30. I am nice about how I wake them up. None of the light flipping on or banging pots and pans or spraying water in their faces. Instead, I lovingly go in and rub their back and whisper, "It's time to get up. Rise and shine little sweetie pie, sweet noogie, sugar plum princess." etc. etc.
Allyson and Cameron usually greet me before I greet them. They are always waiting. Makenna will try to roll the other direction (probably so I will rub her back) but when I leave her room she follows--usually within 15 seconds. Erin...not so much.

This is how it went with Erin today.

Me: "Erin, it's time to get up."
Erin, adjusting to see the clock: "NO!"
Me: "Yes Erin. It is 7:30 and time to get up."
Erin: "NO!"
Me: "Yes. Get up and come get your breakfast."
Erin: "NO!"
I exit the room gritting my teeth and go see my other children who will be nice.
Sometime in the next 10 minutes (so it is now 7:40) she stumbles downstairs and after using the bathroom comes to get breakfast.
After messing around with the other kids and all of them bickering about something that has absolutely no meaning I try repeatedly to get her to eat quicker and "Get upstairs to take your shower!"
ME: "Get upstairs and take your shower! It is almost 8:00!!"
Erin: She ignores me and continues to goof around.
Me: "Go now and get your shower! You are running out of time!!"
Erin: No response.
Me: "GO SHOWER! NOW!!!!"

She goes upstairs and continues to goof off with Cameron while the water is running for the shower. The time is now 8:03. (Remember, the bus comes at 8:20. Arrrgh.)

Me: "GET IN THE SHOWER NOW!"
Erin: "Ha Ha Ha! I'm going!" (Spoken with attitude, of course.)
Me: "I will not be coming to knock on the door to tell you that it is time to get out. You are on your own and if you miss the bus then I will be waking you up at 7 AM every day."
That will teach her, I'm sure. At this point I start secretly hoping she will miss the bus. Ahhh yes. What a great lesson she would learn. She would definitely realize Mom is right and she should always listen to her and be respectful.

She finally emerges from the shower at 8:12. (Remember, the bus comes at 8:20.)
At 8:17 I am downstairs urging the other kids to get their shoes on, etc., and Erin is still upstairs doing .....I don't know what. I wasn't looking in on her.

8:19.
Me: "The bus is at Samuel's house." (This is 2 stops from our house.)
Erin calling from upstairs: "ARE YOU SERIOUS?'
Me, with a slight tone of 'I told you so' drippng from my voice: "It sure is!!" (Smiling from ear to ear---well at least inside I was.)
Erin: "WHERE IS MY BACKPACK?"
Me: "I have no idea."
Erin: "CAN YOU FIND IT FOR ME?'
Me: "No."
Cameron: "HURRY ERIN! THE BUS IS AT SETH'S" (1 stop from our home.)

Erin rushes downstairs, throws her socks on, and grabs her shoes, at which point Cameron yells, "DON'T EVEN UNTIE THEM. JUST SLIP THEM ON! HURRY ERIN!"

How sweet for him to be so concerned about her missing the bus. Here it is pulling up in front of our house. Cameron and Makenna are out on the porch, not knowing what to do. Should they go without Erin?

Cameron: "Mom. The bus is here."
Me: "Go get on it. Bye, I love you. Have a great day."
Makenna: "What about Erin?"
Me: "Don't worry about Erin. You two kids just go. I love you."
Cameron: "Is Erin going to miss the bus?"
Me: "I think so. It's okay." (to myself...'actually it's great!! Now she will really learn a lesson.')

Erin continues to run around like a chicken with her head cut off. Her school items are right on the floor in the den, somewhat scattered around. Her sweatshirt is inside out and the zipper of her backpack won't zip. I keep waiting for the bus to drive off. Why is it still there?

Erin: "Is he waiting for me?"
Me: "I don't know. If he is, you had better just grab your stuff and go."

As she throws her coat on I mention,
"By the way, tomorrow I will be waking you up at 7:00."
Erin: "UUUHHH! THAT'S NOT FAIR!"
Me: "Have a great day. I love you."

It's not fair? It's not fair? It's not fair? It's not fair?
No it is not fair.

It's not fair that I have to wake her up every morning only to be treated rudely.
It's not fair that I have to get upset with her before she will get in the shower.
It's not fair that because she runs late every day I am the one running around for her backpack, finding her jacket, etc.
It's not fair that her room is left in a disgusting mess because she is always running late out the door.
and.....

It is especially not fair that our bus driver is so dang patient!

Grape Expectations

Our kids find the most, um, interesting[?] ways to pass their time.

Exhibit 1: Erin made a baskeball court like this:



Then she made 2 aluminum foil basketballs, and challenged me to a game. The gameboard was place in the middle of the table, and the rule was that you had to keep your elbow on the table when shooting. Unfortunately, Erin had never played marbles. Fortunately, I had.
She got much better by the end, so I encouraged her to challenge Cameron. Unfortunately, Cameron beat her too.


Exhibit 2: Last Monday after school, as Makenna and the neighbor boy Seth cheered her on, Erin stuffed 17 grapes into her mouth.




Postnote: Erin said she had to spit about half of them out in order to begin breathing again. (She obviously forgot that she had a nose.....)

My first book signing

Yesterday my good friend, Miriam, and I went to our first ever book signing event. Richard Paul Evans, (author of The Christmas Box and many other great books), was in town. We had such a great time. He was so down to earth and I love hearing about some of his experiences he had while writing the book. He is an LDS author but his books are not LDS books. They are always uplifting and inspiring. He told about when he was writing a particular part in the book and when finished realized that what he had just written came from a higher power. He was overcome with emotion and immediately got down on his knees and thanked Heavenly Father for giving him these impressions.
If you have never read any of his books I would recommend all of them. You can check out his website www.richardpaulevans.com . He is also giving away free books. When you get to his website click on the link to the left titled "free books". He has boxes filled with 25 copies of "The Christmas Box". You only pay $15 shipping. My box is already ordered!

Thanks Miriam. I can't wait till next year. Next time we will bring our cameras like everyone else did.

Christmas shopping was never so easy!

When asked what he wanted for Christmas, Cameron's wish list was short and sweet.

"Pokemon cards and money."

When Cindy followed up with, "And what will you do with the money?" he immediately replied, "Buy more Pokemon cards!"

He had a "Does not compute" (i.e., quizzical) look when Cindy asked if it would be OK to just flush his Christmas money down the toilet!

Last Night’s Dinnertime Banter

In no particular order....

“Makenna, please stop singing and just eat!”

“Allyson, come back over here, sit down, and eat!”

"Allyson, you have to eat something!"

And then there was my personal favorite:

“Makenna, get your hand out of your armpit and eat your dinner!”

Note: Because of the menu I was tempted to say “Delicious porkchops, Delicious Porkchop!” but I decided I didn't fancy getting a fat lip.

Come Follow Us!

I am interested in those that read our blog. Please notice that we have added a
"Following gadget" in our sidebar. Let us know who you are...assuming anyone really reads about us.

Watch out Imelda--The Floyds are in pursuit!

It was a combination of many small things that led to many more things, much like streamlets combining to form a mighty river. Or like strands of string being woven to make an unbreakable rope. Or like one child puking and causing the entire room to puke. (My mind is teeming with many more similes, but.....)

It started innocently enough. Cindy was already pondering Black Friday shopping. Then a Kohls ad with good sales arrived. Then a Kohls catalog arrived with a 30%-off coupon. And the final kicker was that we had Saturday morning free to both go shopping there.

Many things were purchased, but the focus was on footware. After Cindy and I went, and then Cindy and Erin went (though not only to Kohls), this was the result....



Cindy is quite embarrassed, and hastens to add that a couple pairs are going back.

Now the only problem is where to put them. Do you see any room here?



Me either.

And you may not see me either for awhile or perhaps not even until the resurrection, as Cindy will now be really embarrassed, as she didn't know that 1) I took the shoe rack picture, and 2) That I have found the result blog-worthy.

However, Cindy should take some small solace in the fact that I am retiring 2 pairs of very old shoes, including my pair of black work/church shoes, which pair has performed good service almost every day for 7-odd years. [Insert sentimental sniffle here.]

Impertinent Chastening?

Erin, almost 12 I might add,called down the stairs at 10:05 PM and sang, "Someone come tuck me in!"

I was just finishing the last blog entry, so I hit PUBLISH and then trotted upstairs.

I threw the covers on her, and then gave her a couple of good thumps on her back.

'Why did you do that?' she asked.

'Um, because you're solid like a brick wall!'

I told her good night, and patted her arm.

She rolled her big blues and said,

"A HUG Dad! I'm your kid, not a brick wall!"

Smarty-Pants

The kids love the movie "National Treasure" and tonight they watched it again.

In the very last scene of the movie, the leading lady gives the leading man a map.
He queries, 'What's it to?' and she smiles demurely, nods toward the house and says coyly, 'You'll figure it out!' and takes off for the house.
A lightbulb goes on in his head and he starts running after her.

Cameron goes, 'I wonder what it's a map to?'

Makenna guessed, 'Maybe to the next treasure!'

Erin knowingly teased, 'I know where they're going!' And gave a little giggle.

'Where? Where? Where?' the other kids asked.

'I won't tell you....but oh yeah, I know right where the map leads to!!'

She went on, mostly for my ears, 'Oh yeah, I know. I'm in sixth grade. When you're in 5th and 6th grade you get info.....yep info-mation!' She grinned knowingly at me again.

To get her mind off it we went jogging around the block a couple times--at 9:45 PM in 45-degree windy weather.

As we walked back in the door, she was saying half to herself, 'Yep, info-mation!"