Tricks and Treats....

Tonight was trick-or-treating night in our town, so we joined the rest of humanity in flocking to the Parktown subdivision. The kids were dressed like this:



Our neighbor's dog went dressed like this:



We had a great time (it was light for the first 70 minutes or so....and the take was vast!

We stopped by our old neighbors' house afterwards, and then on the way home we stopped for gas, and boy, let me tell you--this was certainly a TREAT not a TRICK!

Scary Photo!

As Halloween proper is only 19 minutes away, I thought I would post this scary photo. I hope the intensity of it doesn't make your children break into tears, run and hide in the corner, wet themselves, etc.



Background: Erin asked Cindy to make a 'mad face' for posterity, and this was the result.
Though it is somewhat lacking in the real intensity of her authentic mad face (the eyes are not flaming), it is a reasonable facsimile of the face that made her 2nd-graders cry in the 1990s and still makes her children flee for safety (heck, sometimes I flee too)!

All Thumbs!

On Monday Cindy's Dad tried to teach Allyson how to do 'thumbs up,' but at the time she never quite got it.

However, the next morning when Cindy came into the bedroom to wake up Makenna, Allyson called out from her crib, 'I DIT it, Mom, I DID IT!'

Because it was dark, Cindy couldn't see what she could do right away, but going over to her crib she could see Allyson lying there with both of her thumbs up!

It seems that when she woke up that morning she had just lain there and worked on this skill until she did it!

Now she really has the hang of it!

Trunk or Treat Photos

Last night was our first foray of the short Halloween season.

It was a rousing success for the Pirate, whose booty was vast....



And for the Little Girl, who found lots of sugar and spice and everything nice....



And for a Mommo, a Princess who could clearly enunciate 'Trick or Treat,' and a Witch who conjured up a very full and lumpy bag of goodies....



And a sushi-loving pumpkin-carving Daddo....

So eternally grateful for that knowledge....

Makenna disappeared for awhile tonight before bedtime, and when I called out to her I heard her reply that she was 'pooping.'

'Nuf said!

I was in reading a bedtime story to Allyson on a bed in their room when she finally reappeared.

She came in and said excitedly, 'Dad! Dad! I pooped out one that was about THIS long!!' and spread her hands about 12 inches apart.

First, that is really much more information than I would ever need, much less want.
Second, I am concerned about the hint of pride I noticed in her pronouncement.
Third, I sincerely hope that she is merely a budding fisherman, and thus multiplying the length of her 'catch' by a factor of 2 or more.
Fourth, I am glad that she flushed the toilet rather than saving it for my later perusal.
Fifth, she's surely a Floyd!

Deep Thoughts....Yea Verily, Even Deep Stinky Thoughts

At bedtime tonight Cameron asked Cindy to lay in bed with him because he was really cold.

After about 5 minutes of quiet chatting, Cindy gently asked, 'Are you warm yet?'

'Noooo......,' said Cameron, 'Maybe it would help if I let my fart out!'

He continued, 'Because that's how you make a bathtub a hot-tub! You're butt's the jet!'

I can only hope that Cindy quickly exited, stage right.

CONTEST TIME!!!!!

Erin has been saying this hip phrase for a good 2 weeks now at 'particle accelerator' speed, and I finally got her to say it slow enough to consciously register what she was saying.

I then asked her to explain the slang involved, and that finally led to comprehension (not that there's a lot to comprehend, but it is clean!)

Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to transcribe what she is saying and submit it as a comment. The winner will win a major prize (at the exciting Cracker-Jack prize level!

Listen and win (or get real frustrated trying to make sense of it)!

Beauty and the Geek

Last night the New Beginnings[?--I get all these programs mixed up....] had a Daddy-Daughter dinner and activity entitled 'Beauty and the Geek.'

Erin didn't see my get-up beforehand, and let's just say that she wasn't disappointed. (Thanks again Wes and Barb for that Grenada shirt--a gift that keeps on giving 15 years after the fact!)



One of the activities was to teach the girls how to tie a tie around their dad's neck, and Erin, being an unusually quick study (as it wasn't work-related?!), was able to tie mine in 11 seconds flat.

The next part activity was to have the dad style their daughter's hair. I let my creative impulses flow freely, and came up with the following:



For some reason, she didn't like it so much, but she was a really good sport about it too....(and I must add that Br. Vilches braids hair like a pro!)

A fun night!

Dancin' Fools

Another quickie from our Smoky Mountains trip. This is Oompa Loompa TV....



No one ever said we weren't goofy.


UPDATE: I see that I posted all the latest under Cindy's name....hope it's not too confusing!

The Smoky Mountains Part II: Other Adventures

This was the best part of the cabin.....



The girls loved this at the cabin too....



Curse you, Sponge-Bob Squarepants! (or a loincloth, as in this episode)



On the rocks....



Cameron on the bed of nails (we all did it....)

Smoky Mountain Photos Part I: The Natural Beauty

On a nature trail by an old homestead....



Grotto Falls--a 3-mile roundtrip hike--the kids barely made it. Except for Ally--I (Daddo) carried her the whole way ....



The kids hiking....



Erin took this great picture!



Erin begged us to take a picture of her in front of this big rock, so we did--after she took a picture of the rest of us in front of it!

My 20 Minutes of Fame....

The Comedy Barn was one of the highlights, and the kids especially liked it when I was called up on stage with 2 other unfortunate gents.

First the emcee grilled each of us--I don't think that he had ever met up with a Japanese translator before....

He then trained us to open and close our mouths when hit on the head with his clubs.

And though the video ends at mid-song (we have a cheap software that hit its limit at 40 seconds), you'll get the idea.....



We can rent you the DVD of the entire show for a mere pittance....

Palin Country

We found out 2 days ago that Sarah Palin was going to be in Troy (a town in our county) today, so we got tickets and Cindy and me, her mom and dad, and our neighbor and her friend went for the show. The line was a quarter-mile long when we joined, and by the time we got in, it was still that long (and we were over 2 hours early)! That gave Cindy and her mom time to buy some buttons--Cindy was attracted to a Joe the Plumber button.



By the time it started, it was standing room only, and as expected, she gave a great speech.



More Pics....




Yes, it was a lot of fun!

Funny, it's the other 'seasoned' VP nominee who is basically walking about with his mouth taped shut.

Smoky Mountains Trip

We arrived safely back home Monday night from a 4-day family vacation to the Smoky Mountains/Pigeon Forge.
I expect there will be a number of posts and/or photos about this in the coming days, but here are a couple of lessons learned interspersed with some observations, in no particular order:
1. SpongeBob Marathons are just another reason to not get cable/satellite at home.
2. Boys don’t like to sleep in rooms with a vase on the nightstand.
3. Hot-tubs are great for keeping kids entertained both morning and night!
4. The Comedy Barn show is still the best show in town (especially for the kids, and especially when Daddo spends 20 minutes up on the stage during one of the routines).
5. Makenna had a new catch-phrase when she would jump out of the van: “Show me the gift shop!”
6. During peak season, you have to ‘go against the traffic flow’ to get anywhere.
7. Tourist-trap towns are a great way to redistribute the wealth--in a non-coercive way.
8. 12-oz. boxes of Russell Stover caramels or chocolates at the Outlet Store for $1.15 each. Too bad we didn’t have a rooftop carrier with us!
9. Things forgotten: A water thermos, kids’ toothbrushes, and standard-issue manacles, muzzles, and straitjackets (or the equivalent amounts of duct tape to serve these 3 purposes).
10. I never knew our family could pack away a ½ gallon container of ice cream at one sitting.

Oh the trauma!

This morning I decided to give Allyson's hair a little trim. I just wanted to keep in more of a bob rather than let it grow long. So after giving it a little spray with the spray bottle I commenced to comb and then trim. As she saw the little bits of hair I had cut off and then placed in the discard pile she gasped and exclaimed,
"MOMMY!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???? YOU ARE CUTTING OFF MY HAIR!!!"
Then I would explain that it was okay and just a trim and I was the only one allowed to ever ever ever cut hair.
Snip. Snip.
"MOMMY!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???? YOU ARE CUTTING OFF MY HAIR!!!"
About 2 seconds after finishing this 20 second job she had run out and completely forgotten the whole thing.

Amaizing Grace, how sweet the ear.....

This evening we went with our neighbors to a nearby Corn Maze (a.k.a. "Maize Maze"). Thanks to hurricane Ike a month ago, the admission was lowered to $5 per adult and $3 per kid.

It was a first for us, and the kids enjoyed running around and finding the dead-ends beforehand. It took about 40 minutes to go through, and then the kids were able to use an air-powered 'Corn Cannon' to shoot ears of corn 100+ yards.

Note to self--mosquitoes obviously love cornfields at dusk.

By the end we were scurrying back to the van to avoid the little critters!

We then went back home and our 2 families had a little firepit cookout with a number of other neighbors.

Yes, we love our neighborhood!

It must be a female thing.....

We were at Micky-D's in the Playland area last night with our neighbor and kids (actually, she took her kids and all of our kids, and Cindy and I showed up a bit later...), and after being there awhile our neighbor's daughter came over to report that she couldn't find her sandals.

At this point Erin--who had been sitting with us adults--piped up to say that she had seen 2 teenagers come in a bit earlier, and had seen them take a pair of shoes from the shoe rack, leave quickly, go across the street to a car in the Arby's parking lot, then leave.

I had to leave with Erin soon thereafter, as Cindy and the neighbor waited to talk to the manager.

So anyway, on the way home I get a call from Cindy's cell phone and I let Erin answer. Cindy was obviously asking Erin for a description of these teenage hooligans.

Erin replied, 'Well, the girl had long black hair, and was wearing a black jacket with "Abercrombie" and something else on it, and underneath that she had a white shirt on. And she was also wearing blue jeans. And he had really blonde hair, and was wearing...' and continued with the same detailed description.

I was shocked and awed.

This amount of detail from the girl who can't hear a parent from 5 feet away, and is totally oblivious to anything that goes on in front of her unless it has frosting or Zac Efron or Hannah Montana on it!

Maybe she'll be recruited by the CIA?

A blast from the past....

In my family emails of yesteryear (I am merely a blogger now), I would sometimes take on the identity of an advice columnist as I attempted to explain the craziness that was (and still is) our home.
Anyhoo, we were looking up info from our old emails and I found two of my favorites from 2002 and 2005 (and these are more than just loosely based on actual events)....
* * *
Dear Mr. Manners,
In an attempt to civilize/teach morals to our two eldest children (ages 2 and 5), we purchased and began reading illustrated scripture stories to our kids every night. However, a year later, when it is time for them to pick a story to read before bedtime, if there isn't a sword or spear in ACTION, or someone getting their arm or head cut off, or someone getting a small stone implanted into their forehead, or someone getting tar-and-feathered, or SATAN playing a prominent part, they won't pick it! My 2-year old son always asks us if the people in the pictures are fighting or killing someone--and if not, he wants a different story! And whenever we do read these gory stories, they both excitedly pore over the pictures and point, saying, "Is THIS the blood from when he got his head cut off?" and are disappointed if the scene described in words is not shown in gory detail in the picture!
Also, my son told his dad last week, "I will shoot your eye out....with a GUN!"
Is this normal?
Am I just overreacting?
Sincerely,
We Now Lock Our Bedroom Door at Night
________________________________


Dear Doorlocks,
What wonderfully mischievous little imps!
Most pop psychologists would, naturally, attribute such a fascination with violence, blood, and the occult to the usual worn-out whipping boy--the ever-entertaining (and totally harmless) Bugs Bunny & Roadrunner Show.
But in actuality the source of this fascination is merely a healthy and normal child's desire to play games with their parents' minds. I would bet money that your children sleep soundly through the night, and conversely, that your sleep is restless.
Anyway, enjoy the moment! All too soon they will be wanting you to read the stories about children getting advances on their inheritances!
Sincerely,
Mr. Manners
PS: Have you considered locking up your larger cutlery at night as a short-term countermeasure?

* * *

Dear Mr. Manners,
Our children have very good hearing, and they picked up this terrible phrase from the Simpsons that their Dad was quietly telling me. And now they are imaginatively expanding on it. How can I get them to stop saying such things?
Sincerely,
Aghast in Dayton

Dear Aghast in Dayton (may I call you Agh?)
Sadly, this is a more common occurrence than you might think. Being somewhat clairvoyant and judging from your mental state, I would guess that it is not the relatively innocuous, 'I'm Bart Simpson, who the he-- are you?' but rather Homer's mellifluous, even rhapsodic, "They're the suckiest suck of sucks that ever sucked a suck.' It comes trippingly off the tongue, don't you think? But I digress....
And let me guess. The sweet children have expanded this to such things as 'That the poopiest poop of poop that ever pooped a poop' or 'That's the pukiest puke of puke that ever puked a puke.'
I commiserate with you. As for countermeasures to this verbal onslaught, I am sure that your husband is still recovering from the laser-eye glare you gave him after your child overheard and then uttered the phrase, so that is already taken care of (though I'm sure you were chuckling up to that point...!).
As for the children, much like a song that you can't get out of your head, until something else takes its place it will not be relegated to conscious oblivion. May I suggest the harmless phrase, 'I'm Yosemite Sam and you're a sassafrassin' frigglevrassin' varmint!'
Sincerely,
Mr. Manners

Rebel without a Pause

Tomorrow is picture day at school, so Cindy gave Cameron a quick trim around the ears and neck at bedtime.

Afterwards, he complained that his hair was still wet, so Cindy gave it a quick blow-dry.

For some reason, he even acquiesced to a snapshot (after Cindy grabbed him at the onset of his 'bolt and run' instinct....)

I think this is called the 'James Dean look'?

Makenna? Our Makenna?

Makenna got a 'card pulled' at school today, and her teacher wrote a note for us to read.
It read, "Makenna was on a yellow card today. She was reminded several times that she was not supposed to be talking loudly in the hallway and continued to do so."

Imagine our shock!

Our Makenna talking loudly!? And not listening to what an adult tells her!?? I can't imagine why the teacher didn't realize that Makenna was merely whispering as softly as she could. It's not Kenner's fault that her whispers usually don't fall much below 70 decibels! That probably also explains her poor listening skills--the poor dear is probably deaf, bless her heart!

Cindy had Kenner write an apology letter, dictated by Cindy and modified slightly at the end by Kenner.



It looks like Kenner needs more spelling lessons too!

As for suck-up lessons, she has obviously had plenty!