Curse you, Craig's List!

So yesterday Cindy called me at work, and said, "I see a listing on Craig's List for free walnuts."

That perked me up immediately. (Perhaps more the word 'free' than the word 'walnuts'? And there's nothing I can do about that. It's hard-wired into me.)

Anyway, I knew I had some late meetings, so I suggested she come by and pick me up and we could make a long lunch of it.

And let me digress and say that Superman didn't really exist. I changed into 'playclothes' in the middle seat of the van as Cindy drove, and really, there is NO WAY that he could've made the wardrobe change in a phone booth!

So, 7-odd boxes later, Cindy drove me back to work and she took care of unloading them and the millions of maggots that were beginning to emerge from the boxes due to the vibrating van. (Some insect lays eggs in the green covering over walnuts, and their young (maggots, one and all) live happily in that warm, moist environment).

Cindy was sufficiently grossed out. (But the van got a good vacuuming as a result!)

Anyway, last night I started removing the maggot-ridden crust of some of the walnuts. I was doing it manually with a knife, and an hour later I had a bucket full.

Tonight I continued the work, but I drilled a walnut-sized hole in my old worktable and then smacked the walnuts through the hole with a mallet, thereby removing the husk in a couple seconds. Things went quicker by a factor of 10 or more.

Anyway, I told you the above gory details in order to show you the results of my mostly gloveless labors.



And even searching on Google I have yet to find anyone with a method of removing these stains.

When I showed Cindy the stains that were a badge of honor reflecting (though black doesn't reflect, so I am speaking metaphorically) all the work I did tonight, she, being the kind--even genteel--soul that she is, exclaimed, "It looks like you've had your hands up a cow's butt!"

Later on she cackled again and said, "It looks like you gave a cow an enema!"

All I can say is, I hope these walnuts aren't rotten!