Sledding in the backyard....

This morning the kids went out back to sled on our hill, and Allyson wanted to go out too so we bundled her up and then I took her for her first ride down the hill.

As you can see, she really enjoyed it--especially the snow that flew up in her face!



Now we can say that all of the kids have sledded on it!



It was worth the tears! (I thought so anyway!)

Oohhh....I feel giddy!!!!!

It's so electrifying I can't stand it!

Hillary Clinton will be less than 1 mile away from our home today on a campaign stop at the local high school!

As a precaution, I am putting X's of tape on the windows just in case her shrillness breaks the glass (this is an old WWII trick to keep windows from shattering completely).

Fortunately, this patron-saint-of-governmental-control-of-as-much-of-your-life-as-possible has become somewhat muted in recent weeks....

And Obama, who says less in 45 minutes than even Dubya, will be in the area on Monday!

Catch me before I swoon! [Insert heavy sarcasm here.]

Then again, McCain was in the area on Wednesday, and I can't say that he really thrilled me either.....

The prognosis is not good....

Speaking of snow, the local weathermen have done a stellar job this year of prognostication.

In the past month we have had two 'WINTER STORM WARNINGS' and both have turned to rain before they hit our latitudes. I had to drive to Columbus to pick up the Mother at the airport on one of these WARNING days, and instead of the forecasted snow and ice, there was just a steady rain.

Then on Tuesday night the weathermen said, "Oh, maybe a dusting up to an inch or two overnight" and, naturally, the next morning we woke up to four inches and more coming down (we ended up with six).

And don't get Cindy started about the school superintendant that only tends to cancel school for one of two reasons:
1--The above-mentioned weathermen merely FORECAST a winter storm.
2--There is more than 1/16th of an inch of snow on a given morning and/or the weathermen are forecasting that it could possibly turn to worse weather during the day. (I.e., as happened yesterday.)

Anyway, the kids only spent 2 days at school this week.

If you want to get into a LONG conversation, just ask Cindy how her week was!

We hardly pneu you....

Cameron has been suffering (and making us suffer) with a bad cough at nights, etc., and yesterday Cindy finally took him to the doc.

The diagnosis? A mild case of pneumonia.

A first for our family.

He came home with a nifty 'breathing therapy' device and some sweet antibiotics.



Any resemblance between Cameron and Hannibal Lector is merely coincidental, whether talking about the above picture or their respective egos.

Needless to say, he was out playing in the snow in the afternoon! (Hey, it's a mild case! And besides: Out of sight, out of trouble!)

Click.....Click.....ClickClickClicketyClick!

Erin has reached the point where she has to order her shoe sizes off the Internet, and she is in proud possession of a new pair of Sunday shoes.

These shoes are of a type she has never worn before.

They are a stylish black, and--best of all--they have hard soles.

Since she first tried them on last night she has for some reason found excuses for always walking around on the tile floor.

And strangely, that 'Click-Click' even makes the sound of her walk sound like a grown-up!

The big question is, how many excuses will she find to stroll around on the hardwood gym floor at church tomorrow?

"Touch me not...

"...for ye shall wither even as a dried reed"! or so the story goes, and I'm sticking with it for awhile.

This morning I noticed that Erin had left her cd player on when she left her room. ("That's odd." I thought to myself, "She always turns things off when she leaves the room. NOT!") As usual, I entered her room to turn it off. When I touched it there was a shock of static electricity and now her cd player won't turn on.

That'll show her huh?

Actually she was less than disappointed. "Now you get to buy me a new one and I get to choose which one it is. Ha Ha Ha!!" she said with a wicked laugh and sinister grin!

This would explain Valentines day?

Size does matter!

Today I was in the car with Cameron. Very offhandedly he mentioned that he was 1 oz. bigger than both Erin and Makenna when he was born. (The girls were 7lb 9oz and Cameron was 7lb 10oz.).
I said, "Yes you were but you were also 1/2" shorter than them."
His reply, "That is because my brain was bigger."
After a moment of thinking he then added, "I should have weighed 3,000 lbs."

For only the 3rd time in our married life....

...I was finally able to convince Cindy to make a 'Brownstone Front Cake' for our family guests tonight.

This is a homemade chocolate cake that is only slightly less dense than lead, and the icing is about 10 times denser than that! (Did I mention that the frosting consisted of 1/2 lb of butter and 2 cups of sugar--and that's if you halve the recipe?)

Mmmm....

Intellectual Curiosity

As everyone was called in to the dinner table tonight (we had extended family over), Erin continued to lounge on the couch.

She looked like she was deep in thought, as if cognitively chewing on some of the adult conversation she had been listening to.

I asked, 'Erin! What's up? You look like you're deep in thought!'

She grinned and replied, 'Deep in thought!? On a weekend? Ha!'

She then s-a-u-n-t-e-r-e-d into the dining room for dinner.

The Difference Between Men and Women

Things are progressing nicely in the new house, and I took some pictures today of what is often referred to as the ‘Man-Cave’ (i.e., the basement).



It is a dank, dark space filled with a dazzling array of possibilities and Cindy is even now figuring out just what those possibilities are. As such, I have decided to provisionally name it ‘The Cave of Fear.’ I’m sure Cindy will come up with a much better name in the future, such as ‘The Cave That Louis Built,’ or ‘The Cave of Loud Kids That Can’t be Heard Upstairs,’ or maybe even ‘The Cave That Never Seems to Get Finished—So Quit Lollygagging Around and Get That Drywall Up Pronto!’

I also took a picture of what, logically, must be ‘The Woman-Cave.’



It is a bright, cheery space filled with a dazzling array of my past and future paychecks, and I am even now figuring out just how much it will finally cost. As such, I have decided to provisionally name it ‘The Cave of Fear II.’ I’m sure Cindy will come up with a much better name in the future, such as ‘The Cave That Merillat Cabinets Built,’ or ‘The Cave That Had Better Never, EVER See Kids Holding Sharp Objects Playing In It,’ or maybe even ‘The Cave That Actually Holds All the Stuff We Like to Keep in the Kitchen.’


All I can say is, it’s a good thing I also know how to cook, so I can spend at least some time there.

Ally's newfound joys....

Much like a Great White, Allyson has recently found joy in a new food to her--white and fleshy PB and honey sandwiches. She chomps into the soft white underbelly of each sandwich half, backs out, then thrusts her sharp teeth in for another go. The sides of her mouth soon turn a frothy red--I mean brown--as she tears deeper and deeper into the sandwich.
When only crust is left, she burps and tosses it away, shouting out 'Moa! Moa!' (Toddler language translation: "Mother, could I please have another delicious sandwich at your earliest convenience or right now. Whichever comes first.")

Then on Friday or so Cindy bought her a set of 7 little Disney princess dolls (plastic 4~5-inch figures). Allyson was entranced then, and the entrancement continues still. She is definitely a girly-girl!




PS: There is little doubt that she has now watched her various Barbie movies a total at least 300 times--it is to the point where I find myself at work subconsciously humming the various songs in the various movies!

Lost in Translation....

Erin (with a LOT of help from especially Mom) completed her science project last week and made her presentation to the class on Tuesday.

(Her project was to have both short and tall kids and adults blow up balloons in accordance with certain rules in order to see if taller people had more lung capacity than shorter people.)

She came home from school on Tuesday rather perturbed. She said that the science teacher had listened to her project report and then had said it was a stupid question and that of course taller people had more lung capacity than shorter people because they had bigger chest cavities.

Hearing this, Cindy shot off a less-than-happy (jugular-searching?) email to the science teacher, asking if this were true.

The science teacher quickly responded....and then we found out what we like to call....

THE REST OF THE STORY (with apologies to Paul Harvey)

You see, after Erin had completed her report, the teacher had asked her some questions (as he asks of all the kids after they finish their reports in order to make them think more and to prepare them for what the judges might ask them). He started with,

"Erin, this may be a stupid question to ask, but wouldn't taller people have higher lung capacity than smaller people because they have bigger chest cavities?"

As you can see, the nuance(?) is slightly(!) different in this context.

After reading this, Cindy probed Erin's memory and came to find out that Erin hadn't really understood what the teacher was trying to ask her, so she didn't interpret it in the spirit it was meant.

I guess this is how parents get in trouble with teachers!

Cindy quickly sent back an apologetic email.

UPDATE: And we also found out that Erin will probably be going to the next level of competition.

Black Beauty

Alas, when I came downstairs this morning, Beauty was in the same position as last night (see the post below from last night), but this time she was truly bereft of life.

And, strictly speaking, our beloved goldfish Beauty is not black....at least not yet.
Perhaps a more accurate description would be 'Blackening Beauty.'

As in life, even in death she kept a stiff upper lip, now harmoniously mated with a stiff lower one.



Soon after Makenna came downstairs and espied not-so-buoyant-yet-not-yet-floating Eternal Sleeping Beauty, tears formed in her eyes. Alas, this was not due to Beauty's demise, rather it was because Cameron was threatening to flush it before she could. He then tried to convince her that she actually HAD flushed one of the unfortunate three predecessors to Beauty.

Before Erin and I left for her BB game, we, naturally, fished Beauty out and gently laid her on a cellulose bier....



...then Makenna gently carried to her final resting bowl....



....and then sent her to her watery grave. (As the kids are not too good about flushing, 'watery' is probably just about right....)

Life is fleeting, but it is a wonderful world.....



We also find solace in the fact that the local sewer raccoon will be eatin' good tonight!

Ya gotta watch'em close!

Cindy and I drove out to look at the house after I got off work today, and it was a good thing we did!

They had all the cabinets unpacked in all their beauty....



(for the cost, you would have thought they were diamond-encrusted and ruby-studded!), but their pre-installation arrangement wasn't quite right.

As there was a blueprint handy, I took a gander and quickly ascertained that it wasn't correct--it just showed the standard layout, not the one we had finally decided upon.

We made a quick trip home to get the final drawing and made sure it was put in the house for the carpenter who starts installing them tomorrow.

But still, overall we've been very pleased with the job that's been done, and with our eagle-eyes we have caught both mistakes before they resulted in rework!

Minding your p's and q's

We are so very pleased to announce that we now have a child for whom the 'Time Out' child discipline strategy works--she sits there with an air of remorse until we come and get her (about a minute), and after such time-outs she is a much better behaved child.



Pity it didn't take on the boy!

On her last flippers....

Cindy called me at work today to report the sad news.

Beauty, the goldfish that has shared our home for the past 15 months, appears that she is about to shuffle off this mortal coil.

All day she has been like this....



Cindy was kinda sad (she formed an attachment to the poor creature over the course of time as she changed the water and saw the look of love in Beauty's eyes.

Coldhearted me, I'm not too concerned. I have a quiet assurance that Beauty fulfilled the measure of her creation. Besides, we can always get another one for a quarter!

After school Cindy told Makenna. Makenna began jumping up and down in expectant excitement, clenching her hand and pumping it up and down, shrieking, 'YES!! YES!! I finally get to flush one down the toilet! Life is GOOD!' (OK, maybe I added that last bit....)

In anticipation of the flushing...errr, I mean 'funeral'....I found Monty Python's 'Dead Parrot Sketch' on YouTube, which contains perhaps the most touching eulogy to a 'bleedin' demised' pet e'er soliloquied in the English tongue. (It starts at about 2 min. 20 secs into the video.)
And coincidentally, the very beginning of the sketch even has a cameo of one of Beauty's (presumably) English kinfolk!

God Bless the leaf removers!

Here in Huber Heights we have a leaf removal/collection by the city. This is to keep leaves from clogging up the drains etc. What usually happens is each fall if you want your leaves collected you need merely rake them to the gutter or parking strip. When it is your neighborhoods turn for the collection a hugemongous (pronounced "hue-gee-mon-gus") truck with a long hose (think of snuffle-upagus' trunk) attached will drive up and down the streets sucking up the leaves. This is followed by two dumptrucks. One of them to put the leaves in and another to put them in when the first one is full. They will usually make 3 passes through each neighborhood to get all the leaves. This year the leaf collection was slowed a bit, only 2 passes, because of some early snow storms. In last weeks paper it was announced that the final collection would still take place.
Today as I was taking the kids to school I was met or rather blocked from going up the street because of the leaf collection. Mind you the leaves are wet and have been sitting for several months now but does it really require 3 tractors, 1 dump truck and a utility truck?

Tender moments

As Cameron bounced around the room, as he is wont to do, he hit the couch armrest with great force with his posterior. Having a bony butt (it hurts when he sits on your leg!), there was not enough padding to prevent pain, and he began squirming about to alleviate the butt sprain.

After about 10 seconds, he slowed down his thrashing about and moaned, 'My butt hurrrrrrrts!'

Continuing, with a slightly different, even intriguing different tone, he plaintively asked me (I was sitting nearby),

'My butt hurrrrrts!' [Sniffle] 'Will you kiss it?'

Skipping around the room, he kindly asked everyone else the same question.

Funny, he didn't act like he was hurt!

Master of Disguises

Allyson was applying her spycraft today, appearing both like this....



Is she Phyllis Diller, Puck (the mischievous fairy in Shakespeare's MSD), The Joker, or just having a bad hair day?

and like this.....



Stevie Wonder? Ray Charles? Ralphie after having his mouth washed out with Lifebuoy soap?

Hill Cumorah in Ohio?

There is an oblong artificial hill behind our new home about 25 feet high, and on Thursday the ground was dry and firm, and the kids decided to climb to the top while Cindy, Ally, and I were enjoying the warmth inside.

After they came back down, they said that they had named it the 'Hill Cumorah.' We can only hope they find some gold in it--though gold that COULD be used for self-enrichment!



I can envision a lot of new footpaths on that hill by summertime....

....but I don't think I'll see many angels there.....

What will be next?

Last week in Erin's science class her teacher taught them to make "bridges" from rolled up pieces of paper and then see how many books they could stack on it without it collapsing. Cameron is always up for a challenge so this is his tower. I am not sure how many books he really got but it is a pretty big stack.

Another project he has last weekend was making his own skateboard. He took the wheels off his "real" board so he could turn it into a snowboard.

When I suggested we throw away the wheels etc. because they were just "junk" he without a doubt informed me that they indeed were NOT junk and although he didn't know what he was going to do with them he would one day need them. I am glad "one day" came along sooner than... 2 years from now. He got Louis to help him put them on another board with is much smaller than a regular skateboard and easier to use in the house. (I wonder when he will find out where I hid it?)

Pinewood Derby

The Pinewood Derby. The Olympics of Cub Scouting!

This was a night Cameron had been anticipating for nearly 2 months. The car had been "displayed" on top of the refrigerator since its finish 1 month ago. We got to the church early and found good seats. Last week at den meeting the boys had a practice run and Cameron's car came away nicknamed "The Bullet". I had heard that several kids (and dads) were determined to juice up their cars just to beat Cameron's. Would it work? Could it be done?

There were 13 boys all hoping their car would be the fastest and then be awarded "First Place".
After several heats only one would emerge--triumphant! (Cameron's car is on the left.)

Cameron did well. He came away with two awards-- 2nd place and "coolest shape". The best part was seeing all the fun he had. The most important question after all this is, "Will Josh be back home next Christmas for Derby car #2?"

A Book Never Written

A couple of nights ago while Louis had taken Erin to basketball practice and the other girls were in the bath, Cameron and I spent some time cleaning his room. When finished we began to look at one of his Boy's Life magazines. They have a whole page of jokes at the back. One type of joke is the "Book Never Written". It is a made up book title and the "author" is supposed to be the "joke". Here are some Cameron and I made up that night.


How to Catch Flies.
By: Cal M. Newer

How to Chase Cars
By: Golden R. Treever

How to Have Fun Cleaning Your Room
By: Em Possible

Beginning Shaving
By: Nixon Kuts

How to Fly a Rocket
By: Bern N. Fuel

I’m Bored
By: Minnie Termites

These last two are courtesy of Louis

How to Ruin a Picnic
By: Aunt Coloni

How to Get Rid of Company
By: Pass N. Gas

He wants to send them in to Boy's Life and hopefully have one of the printed.

The passing of the prophet

Last night Mom and Dad called me to tell me that they had just heard that President Hinckley had passed away. He was 97 yrs old and the prophet for nearly 13 years. My initial reaction was that of sadness but quickly changed to peace and thankfulness. He had lived such a great life and was such a great man. It was time for him to be reunited with loved ones. I can only imagine the welcome home he has received in the spirit world. It is comforting to have a testimony and know how the church will function until a new prophet is called.

This morning I was preparing to tell the kids that he had died. I was at the computer reading about President Hinckley when Cameron came down. I called him over to me and solemnly told him that the prophet had died. He gave me a look and then said, "I'm hungry. What's for breakfast."
Erin got up a little later. She came down and poured herself some cereal. As she was eating I said, "Erin, Last night the prophet died." Without saying anything she looked back to her cereal bowl and kept eating.
Makenna...the more sensitive one....I called her into the kitchen...still looking/hoping for that teaching moment. "Makenna, President Hinckley died last night." I said. She looked deep into my eyes and asked, "Where are my pancakes?"
What can a mother do? Hopefully FHE will go over better than my attempt this morning. They will have a lesson on succession in the presidency.

Sided and Trimmed

This is how the house looked yesterday afternoon, with all but some of the decorative trim up.

The driveway and sidewalks are also done.

And the sheetrockers started this afternoon too.

Two Reality Checks

As I was making crepes this morning, Makenna and I had a nice conversation.

She began things by stating that she was smarter than me.

Spotting a true teaching moment, I proceeded to explain to her the meaning of the word 'deluded.' Specifically, 'You must be deluded if you think you are smarter than me.'

I continued, 'Now, someday you may become smarter than me, but today is not that day.'

She pertly replied, 'I'll be smarter than you when you are dead!'

Who can argue with that!??

Fluffies

Cameron came into our room this AM while we were still in bed, and decided to lay down next to me. He soon shifted position and laid his head on my stomach as his pillow.

"Hmmm, kinda lumpy!" he said. "And fat!" he added for good measure.

Ever the innovator of mayhem, he then sang out, "Fluff the pillow! Fluff the pillow!" and raised his head up and slammed it back down on my stomach a number of times.

Naturally, I began feeling unwell, so I said that maybe I should stay home from church, keeping Allyson home with me.

Cindy mused, 'Yes, you, Allyson and Cameron probably should stay home from church.'

Suddenly regaining my health, I promptly jumped up out of bed and went downstairs to make some crepes.

OSU SOSO RIP*

*Rest in peace, or rest in pieces--whichever....

Reason #783 that we don't need a dog.

Tonight as I was sitting at the computer, Cameron came through the room with Allyson following behind. "Mom, I am taking Allyson for a walk. See?" This is what I saw...

You see... he walked in front pulling the silky pajamas. When she got close to them he would yank them quickly away. She erupted in laughter and the whole thing started again.

Hope springs eternal

So... picture this. The kids all went back to school from Christmas break on Thursday, by Friday afternoon it was time to tackle Cameron's room (best when he is not at home---don't check the trash!). While I am sorting through all the tinfoil pieces, rocks, nails, screws, memorabilia from the Air Show 2 years ago, broken erasers, little tiny bits of old pencils, Lego pieces, etc. etc. I found a nicely folded paper. It was folded and shaped into a sort of funnel with a note inside it. Having gotten the same thing from Erin just before Christmas with a note inside gushing about what a great mom I am, I figured it was probably a nice note from Erin gushing over Cameron. "I love you and am so glad you are my brother." etc. etc..
I had all kinds of warm fuzzy feelings being so grateful for how loving my children are and I would be sure to save that wonderful note. This is what it really said,

"Cameron,
I am soooooo mad at Mom right now. Aren't you too?
Write back,
Erin"

Needless to say....out went the fuzzy feelings and into file 13 went the note. Not the first and I am sure not the last. Oh well...one can hope.

Another brick in the wall (yeah, that's Pink Floyd)

Some of our family wanted to see the house with all the brick (at least all that we could afford....!)

Offering a toast....

Cindy, domestic goddess that she is, prepared a tasty breakfast of french bread french toast this morning.

Reactions among the kids varied.

Cameron ate one bite and then ran into the bathroom. His face wan, he emerged a minute later, faintly asking, 'Does the toast have egg on it?' Receiving an answer in the affirmative, he then went on, 'I choked on the hard brown stuff [that would be the browned egg mixture] and threw up.'

Note: Cameron has a hair-trigger gag reflex--anything that he even thinks (and I stress thinks) will stick in his throat is rebuffed. As such, he hasn't eaten a nut since he choked and threw up at age 1.5. Nor will he deign to eat eggs--scrambled or fried--if there are any browned sections.

When Makenna came down, Cindy fixed her a plate with 2 big pieces of french toast, Makenna smiled, began walking to the microwave to warm it up, then stopped, turned around, smiled again, and announced to Cindy, 'I love this [french toast] even more than you!'

Allyson ate 2 bites and called it a day.

Erin and I showed our appreciation by eating it down with gusto. (Did we dare do anything else?!)

UPDATE: Later this morning as I was sitting in the frontroom Makenna came over to snuggle. As she settled into my lap, she said, 'I told Mommy that I love french toast more than her!.......And I love YOU more than I love french toast!'

Should I be flattered?!

Christmas day 2007

Lucky for us our kids don't wake up too early. Cameron and Erin were up first at 7:30. By the time we went downstairs it was 8:00 (they had to wake Makenna up---and I made them wait for me to take a shower!) This is the first year we have let them open a present on Christmas eve. Of course they all got new p.j.'s.


Allyson loved the entire day. She is a good gift opener. Probably because she has 3 older siblings to follow. Her favorite gift was this baby doll and stroller to push it in. She promptly found the little silky ribbon tied underneath its chin.

Cameron has become our little Buckeye. Since Christmas he has only taken these clothes off to sleep (that is 3 days worth of wearing.) I am washing them tonight while he sleeps. The football is from Aunt Kim and Uncle Ryan and tops his list of favorite Christmas gifts. Some other favorites of his are, MP3 player, eyeclops, Harry Potter scene it game, and rubiks cube.

One of the hightlights for Makenna was having "Cousin Josh" come. She loves him. He came home from his mission in October and she still says in her evening prayers, "We thank thee that Josh came home from his mission." She got several Polly Pocket toys, a Barbie head that has all kinds of hair clips and even a braid that grows "magically", and even her own little MP3 player.

Erin also got another MP3 player as she lost hers last year. She loves music and carried it with her all over the place so it is worth it for her to have another one. She also got an American Idol Karaoke Revolution game for the Playstation. This is Erin and her friend Kirsten doing what they did for most of the day today......singing with the game. It is a fun game---unless you are me (see previous post). She also got a manicure set, High School Musical 2 movie, cd, I love Troy heart pillow and Troy necklace (shown here). Tonight she told me that she is never going to take her necklace off. We will see if she changes her mind when her neck turns green.

We had Louis' sister Denna, and her family (Quinn, Josh, Caleb, Ben, and Jordan) along with Louis and Denna's nephew, Carlton and his family (Liz and Hunter). We feel very fortunate that for being so far away from "family" we have this much family close by. Our numbers are growing and we love it. We had a very relaxing day that involved eating, singing Karaoke, visiting the new house, and hanging out. All in all I think it was a perfect day.

I'll Huff and I'll puff and I'll not be able to blow that house down!

This is the latest photo of our new home. This was taken on December 26th. It is so much fun to see everything we picked out coming together with the design. It is so different looking at a design on paper or a little square board with brick. What a relief to see it in reality and still love it!

Not even in a bucket!

So Erin got an American Idol Karaoke game for the Playstation for Christmas. She begged me yesterday to sing for it. Everybody else had done it and she wanted to hear me sing. I know I don't have the ability to carry a tune so singing is not usually something I try to stand out in a crowd for. I sang a song titled "You and Me". Erin thought it would be a good song. So I do my best as the words scroll across the bottom of the screen and when it is all done here come the judges to tell me what they thought.
Randy: "I'm sorry. That just didn't do it for me. Dog, you were way off tune the whole song."
Woman: "The pitch was way off. I'm sorry it just wasn't any good."
Simon: "That was the worst I have ever heard. You were off tune. It was so bad I can't believe you actually wanted to sing."
Get the idea? Even an animated video game doesn't want to hear me sing! I don't think Jill Pierce will be recuiting me for the ward choir anytime soon!

Leech removal

Allyson was sticking to me like a tick on an ol' yaller dog this evening. She is definitely a daddy's girl right now.

I was here at the computer looking for something, when she came over and commandeered the mouse and the keyboard, asking to be shown pictures of dogs and cats on the Internet.

After about 5 minutes I tried to take back the mouse, and she would have nothing to do with it.

Then Cindy came to the rescue.

'Allyson,' she crooned, 'Do you want a bath?'

Allyson began replying with her stock answer, 'No,' but cut her reply off in mid-letter and instead hopped off my lap and ran into her, gushing, 'Bath! Bath! Baaatttth!'

I was thereby able to use the computer without interruption to do these two posts.

Thank goodness for warm baths on cold nights!

For some reason this timeless quote came to mind on this Christmas Eve.....

Last week I was perusing a walk down memory lane reading thru a Calvin and Hobbes collection, and I came upon a section of comic strips where in the days before Christmas Santa is pondering and Calvin is worrying if his behavior throughout the year will put the kibosh on his presents.

In the Christmas day strip, Calvin gets up and finds that he has a huge pile of presents waiting.

Filled with a child's joy of Christmas, he gaily cries out,

"Ha ha! Acquittal on all charges! Complete exoneration! Ha ha ha!"

Even if these words are not quoted verbatim, I am at least sure that the elation in our home will be along the same vein....

Erin's Christmas story

A few nights ago, Erin was at a friend's birthday party and wrote the following sweet, touching, albeit disturbing story of (at least tangentially) Christmas spirit and mayhem. According to Erin, she and a boy made up the story, acting it out as they thought it up, and then Erin later put it into words.

Erin will now proceed to type in the story. We recommend that you get your tissues ahead of time, as it ranks right up there with Ralphie's theme about a Red Rider BB gun, but much more sophisticated.

There was an out-of-the-ordinary couple, their names were Harold and Jessica.They had 2 babies and named one Germany and the other one, well, let's just say they put the other one up for adoption, because they were soon to have more of what Jessica called "its."
Harold had cheated on Jessica with a reindeer for 2 months and had 37 mutated pups, soon to be 57. jessica was furious and demanded marriage counciling. It still did not work out--Jessica had caught them 7 times in the past week. [Sad huh?] They got a divorce, but Jessica still loved Harold.

And Harold still loved the reindeer.

The End
[ p.s.][If you liked the story please mail a dollar! It's just buisness!]

Erin

Our daughter is definitely growing up, [sniffle] and we are very, very worried!
PS: (And yes, the party was chaperoned, so any 'acting out' was purely platonic.)

Fertile windmills of the mind

Kenner slept in today, and she was still in bed at 10AM after a trip to Sam's Club.

Erin informed us that Kenner had awakened but still in bed, as she had come up with a plan to make Christmas come sooner.

Yep, she figured if she spent all day in bed it would make bedtime tonight come quicker, and ergo, Santa, the reindeer, presents, etc., etc., etc.



We gently explained to her that she'd do much better to get up and not be bored out of her gourd all day.

Of course, as Cindy later belatedly related, 'Maybe we could've gotten all the kids to buy into her theory and then we could've enjoyed a nice, relaxing day!

A mind like a steel trap

I came back from shopping this morning with a half-gallon of egg nog.

Allyson, who has only experienced this fat-filled ambrosia once about a month ago, obviously recognized it for what it was and began grunting and pulling at me.

Just to make sure, I leaned her over the array of purchased items and asked, 'What do you want?'

She reached over and patted (dare I say, caressed?) the half-gallon container.

Superfluous though it may be to recount, she sucked down an entire sippy-cup of the stuff. (Though I did thin it down with milk--I'd hate be responsible for her bouncing off the walls and ceilings this AM.)

Update: Later on Cindy got a small glass container out of the frig. It was clearly full of something chocolate.

I was holding Allyson at the time (big surprise there!?) and she immediate leaned towards it and assumed the position--one finger crooked in anticipation of scooping up some chocolate stuff--and also began making small sucking noises to mimic what she was definitely planning to do.

I gave her a spoon instead.

Introducing "The Look"

For reasons unfathomable to mere mortals, Erin has developed a new look.

Her modus operandi is to sidle up to you and then just stand there with what can only be called a 'vapid, disturbingly mechanical frozen grin'.....



...on her face. She will often stand there for minutes on end with nary a change of expression in her continuing efforts to creep you out. Moreover, she is able to maintain it under most circumstances, including threats to life and liberty.

Last night we had the missionaries over, and as she was sitting next to me on the couch during a serious conversation she turned and did 'the grin.' For whatever reason I broke out into uncontrollable chortles, and Cindy ended up sitting between us, muttering some gibberish about child behavioral problems.

Mmmm....gingerbread.....

Cindy was just barely able to find time to keep up this somewhat annual tradition.



The kids were all excited at first, but then Erin and then Cameron soon lost interest.

It had something to do with their stomachs hurting from all the candy they had eaten!

Here is the final result--a house even the wicked old Hansel-and-Gretel-eating witch would've been proud of!

We got elfed! And elfed! And elfin' elfed!

Fleshing out the details of a post from a month ago....

It all started with an email from Cindy's sister that linked to a site where you could upload pictures your family and get them pasted on dancing elvish folk.
It was rather cute.

And as you might've expected, it soon snowballed into a hailstorm of emails on the Bowcut side of the family, as everyone in the family vied for the title of Grand Elfer (motto 'I'm the elfiest elf of elf who ever elfed an elf').

Here are the kids....




And here we are....



See the November posting for a link to the animation....

But you've been warned! Please upload responsibly

You know, maybe Darwin wasn't all wrong....

Allyson has a new trick!

A new bad habit....?

Allyson has learned another word in the past 2 weeks.

BARBIE! BARBIE!

She has become infatuated with the 5-odd Barbie animated movies we have and she incessantly asks to watch them.

Her favorite ploy is to come up, grab your finger, and then vigorous pull and tug you into the front room. She coyly stops by the video cabinet, looks up with her big blue eyes shining in admiration, and then sweetly rattles off, 'BARBIE! BARBIE! BARBIE! BARBIE!BARBIE! BARBIE!BARBIE! BARBIE!BARBIE! BARBIE!'

If you say yes, she exudes love, then assumes the position.
This is her position today.



If you say, 'No Barbie,' she begins hitting things, yelling, and doing other toddler antics. (Since she is doing this well before age 2, does this mean she is precocious?)

The Great Unveiling

After 10 hours of intense high-precision manufacturing over 3 days, Cameron and his cousin Josh 'I'll be Engineering Aircraft Someday' Coburn completed Cameron's Pinewood Derby racer.



It was crafted with a scroll saw, dremel bits, a router, a blowtorch to melt the lead in place (according to Cameron, the lead even began burning with a greenish-blue flame), and finished off with some SuperGlue to hold the nail axles securely in place.
Like any good Cub Scout, Cameron also picked up the handy skill of safely using a drill and a metal file to grind scalpel-sharp nail tips. (Not that they were used in the car at all--it was just an extracurricular learning activity.)

(Also, Cameron is so sweaty not because of all his efforts, but rather from playing tennis using their Wii.)

Requiem

Cindy got on a 'throw away all the junk that has been accumulated over the years' kick tonight.

Included in the ever-growing garbage pile is Cindy's pressed plant collection from 1982 (she got a perfect score of 300 for it), every girl's camp memorabilia she had kept for at least as long.

Nor was I left out--out went an FBI t-shirt that my brother Wezzo gave me 13-odd years ago, but which in the past year has been used by Erin as a pajama top, a paint shirt, and the mainstay of that pile of clothes she routinely constructs in an empty corner of her room. As Cindy commented, 'It ain't worth the water to wash it.'

Enjoying the sights at Camp Kern!

So, Cindy here, this is actually the first time I have done anything on this blog before. Louis will be pleased I am actually doing something. I just couldn't let the moment pass.
Today is Erin's 11th birthday. It is 2:30 in the afternoon and I just picked her up from school. She has been at Camp Kern, a YMCA camp, for 2 1/2 days with all the
5th graders. Before we are even in the van she begins to tell me about "Tim. He is so HOT. He was one of our counselors. The minute I saw his abs I nearly fainted!" After the shock and laughter from me subsided I collected my wits and found out that she actually did not "see" his abs. He just had a tight t-shirt on. As I have told Erin many times before...she and I were cut from completely different molds. I think I am going to have my hands full with this one.

Talk about intestinal fortitude!

Cameron has been home sick these two day with what the doc thinks is strep throat.

As such, he has had a fever and a sore throat.

Anyway, when I got home from work tonight, he was in the bathroom doing what I assume was just a normal, non-squishy, number 2.

I base this deduction upon the following clue: Cindy told me that when he had gone into the bathroom he had declared (somewhat proudly) that he had been holding it in for 3 hours!

I thus reasoned that even someone as stubborn as Cameron can't hold in a case of 'The Diabolical Dib-Dabs' for 3 hours!

Ain't NO WAY!

As you might expect....

When Cindy tried to put Allyson down on Santa's lap at the ward Christmas party, Allyson was fine until a fine line was crossed--that line being exactly 12 inches from Santa's knee.

As she saw herself being lowered towards this strange red-suited, hairy man, she finally figured out what was being done to her and jerked her body back in one huge spasm and let out a huge scream!

It was one of those "I wish I had had the video camera" moments!

As such, we can proudly report that our kids are 4-for-4 in this category.

The wonder of all that is Christmas

Cindy was putting up some pine garland on the stair railing, with Allyson closely eyeing her every move.

As Cindy next began weaving some lights along the garland, Allyson watched intently, repeating in her usual throaty whisper:

'Wow!'

'Wow!'

WOW!'

The First Gift of Christmas

When I got Allyson out of her crib this afternoon and took her downstairs, she puttered around for a minute or two, then bee-lined it to Cindy, and it was at that time she finally uttered the magic words "Mama" and put up her hands to be picked up.

The next words to be heard were from Cindy, and they sounded like a good blog entry title. Whaddya think? (And this takes a lot of pressure off of me too--there's no way I can top this, so why even try!)

Of course, Allyson was still groggy from her nap and was thus somewhat disoriented, so I'm not sure if this really counts......but I am more than willing to count it, as the price is definitely right!


UPDATE: Cindy is now telling me about Wednesday (when the kids were out of school due to the horrific snowstorm that dumped all of 4 inches) when Cameron got Allyson up in the morning. Cindy was taking a shower at the time, and she soon heard little hands knocking at the door and the melodious sounds of 'Mama! Mommy!' coming through the door.

What a difference a week makes!

They got the roof on before the big snow that's supposed to hit tonight (up to a whopping 3~4 inches!!!!)

I even gave the snow-blower a test-run!

Charleston Falls Night Hike

I guess it has been a yearly event for a long time, but this was the first time we had heard of it. From 6~9PM tonight you could walk the 1/2-mile to the falls and see the falls (a trickle at this time of the year) with some faint colored backlights.

The first highlight was when we met this jolly old fellow on the trail...



As you might guess, it was about 32 degrees out....

Then Cindy took a picture with the falls as a stunning backdrop....



However, as you can (or can't) see, our simple digital camera doesn't have a long exposure setting, so everything behind us showed up black.

On the trail to the falls, Allyson was content to be carried, but on the way back she ran most of the way, chortling as she played footsie with Makenna.

But the real highlight for Allyson was the dog she got to pet.
She just loves dogs, and we are more than happy to let her interact with them--just a long as they don't live at our address and/or leave landmines in our yard!



(This photo somehow reminded me of the old B-movie, 'Devil Dog: The Hound from He__.')

Just what WAS Cindy doing all afternoon?

Well, to hear her tell it, she was "Makin' babies all afternoon!"

(She made 73 little Baby Jesus' as part of a Primary craft activity tomorrow.)

Sorry I missed it!

Day 3 of Framing.....

UPDATE: They worked on Saturday too, and the second story is pretty much framed now too.

Sight Reading

Tonight we were reading from the Book of Mormon, and Makenna begged to read first. (Being a pretty good reader for a 1st-grader, it is really quite amazing to see her sound out some of the big words she comes across in the scriptures!)

However, tonight her sounding-out wasn't quite up to snuff.

She read, 'And King Mosiah did cuss...'

And verily, Mom and Dad did chortle!

Unfortunately, Makenna seemed to think we were laughing at her misreading of 'cause' instead of the visual picture her misreading painted.

Then again, as I seem to remember, King Mosiah had some excessively wild and rebellious sons, and as such her mistaken rendition, though not scriptural, could quite possibly be factually correct.

Mr. Manners Returns

Dear Mr. Manners,

The recent new tastes of my 8-year-old son—for the sake of anonymity I’ll call him Clameron (as he ‘clams up’ whenever you try to have a serious discussion with him)—concern me greatly.
Yes, like every boy he loves to play soccer, throw baseballs, and act like a real stinker to his sisters, but his taste in music is keeping me up nights worrying. Worrying as I hear it playing in his room every night, somehow lulling him to sleep—those melodies transforming into frenetic jousting of harmonies, the keyboards flying madly between octaves, and then the denouement triumphant!
What is a mother to do?
While other mothers can brag about their children listening to dreamy Zack Efron, Hannah Montana, or those fabulous American Idol musical superstars, I must hang my head and confess that MY SON (sob!!) only listens to that punk rocker of his century, (another sob!!) Beethoven!
And it is a piano concerto! Piano Concerto No. 5 in E-Flat to be exact!
And my husband is the one who dug out this old CD of his and gave it to him to listen to!
They are conspiring against me! What can I do?
I do so want to have a normal boy!

Yours sincerely,

Keyed Up and Pale in the Heights
__________________

Dear Ivory Keys,

Tempting though it is to segue your cry for help into a recital of that trite motif of the atonally droning chorus of pop psychology, ‘Be careful what you wish for,’ I must refrain, as you are obviously already suffering from classical cognitive dissonance.
For the problem is much more discordant than you might imagine, and may even be a prelude to even greater mischief of the cacophonous kind.
(Excuse me as I now leave the verbiage of musicology behind and don the robes of psychology.)
You see, this particular piano concerto is commonly referred to as the “Emperor Concerto’ and as such, repeated listening to it could lead your little Clameron to fall prey to a superiority complex.
Yes, as he hums and conducts the complex harmonies of Beethoven in his mind while his slack-jawed peers drool onto their Ipods as they revel in those musical maestros you mentioned, he may subconsciously draw conclusions that could lead to such visions of grandeur.
And such, he would probably end up with anti-social behaviors such as prizing education, thinking critically, contributing to society, and maybe {gasp) even taking a liking to Mozart.
Be that as it may, there are two easy steps to snap him out of this self-destructive behavior.
1. Get cable or satellite TV.
2. Make him watch the Disney Channel 24/7.

He will soon be cured of any nonconformist behavior, and will be able to converse ably with his friends about all the nuances of the latest wacky antics of Zack and Cody, Raven, Hannah, and the East High teens.

Sincerely yours,

Mr. Manners
PS: Please let me know if you need a prescription for his slack jaw, as I will be glad to write one for him. (I have already included your own personally inscribed prescription with this reply.)

What a difference a day makes!

Today they started framing.....

Smart Alec!

So, here I was at the computer playing a time-waster game where you have to unscramble 8-letter words to score points.

Ol' Cameron came over to see what I was doing right when a new scrambled word popped up. He looked at it for all of 0.25 seconds, then suggested "Obedient!"

And the little rat was right!

Yes, I realize that this takes irony to an entirely new level--he has never been so quick to show obedience! (I assumed that he didn't even know that word, much less have the ability to recognize it when he saw it!)

Mmm....fresh-baked bread.....

Cindy was on a baking roll today, and pulled off a couple touchdowns.

She first made a batch of cinnamon rolls using Tamlee's great recipe--where you are eating hot cinnamon rolls approx. 1 hour after you start making them.

She then made 2 loaves of bread. Allyson, who is cutting 3 teeth as we speak, slammed down 3 whole slices (it didn't hurt that they were generously slathered with the saltier Amish butter)! Cameron and 'Kenner stepped up to the plate too, and as a result there is just 1 loaf remaining.

Yes, once again I am glad that I taught Cindy how yeast was our friend, not something to be scared of!

We all got 'elf'-ed....

These may take the place of a family Christmas letter!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9577556864

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9603359085

Kermit visits....

To keep the kids from being too bored on Friday while Cindy was out shopping, I borrowed an activity from my sister Tamlee's playbook (circa 1986).

The result was the Singing Frog Trio belting out a "High School Musical" song:



The kids have enjoyed watching and re-watching the video I took too.

There was a lot of tongue-action going on--and frankly speaking, it was kinda gross!

Black Friday

As usual, Cindy was out of the house to shop with her similarly-demented girl-buddies at 3:45 AM.

I, being more normal, got up at 5 and was one of the first ones in line at Lowes for a doorbuster or two, then on to Staples for a couple more.

I was home at 7:30 AM.

Cindy was home at 4:30 PM.

We were both asleep by 9 PM.

Simple Pleasures

Allyson has picked up the new habit of looking for and picking out the toe-jam every time a sock comes off.

She is quite meticulous, leaving no toes unspread.

Turkey Day

It didn't help that our power went out at 7 AM and wasn't restored until after 11 AM, but we were able to get the turkey cooked by taking it to Dean and Kay's house across the street.

And as you can see, it ended up being a fine affair of fine foods in large quantities, and we even had some extended family to boot! (Carlton, Liz and Hunter joined us.)



Not seen in the above photo are the 7 pies (2 pumpkin, 2 pecan, 1 lemon (with cream cheese), 1 fudgy chocolate, and 1 choco-brownie pie). If you do a headcount (and include the photographer) that translates into 1 pie for each person over age 2.

Mama Myopia

And it continues....

Allyson has learned lots of new words:
--Apple
--Outside
--Silky (her blanket)
--PooPoo
--Bath
--Cereal
--Dean (our neighbor)

Other words we might have heard are:
--Misanthrope
--Flatulence
--Perdiddle

But still, but when it comes to saying 'Mama' or 'Mommy,' she clams right up or completely ignores the eager prompts from stage left.

As Cindy wonders, 'Maybe I didn't nurse her long enough. Or maybe this is her revenge for when I slapped her hand during the last nursing session while she was intent on maintaining her toothy grip of death.'

(Maybe I can get Allyson to say, 'Got Milk?' instead?)

Concrete Evidence

Well, we now have a concrete floor to match the concrete walls.



The plan is to start framing next week....

Slouching towards Gomorrah.....

Well, I now possess my own cell phone. That makes 2 for our family.

Sure, it is another Tracfone, and only for occasional use, but it is still a sad day.

Really sad.

Of course, I get Cindy's hand-me-down---she has sucked most of the minutes off of our existing Tracfone, so now I get the one with only 120 minutes left and she gets the new one that has a whopping 820 minutes for a year. (I figure that in three months I will have about 100 minutes and she will have about 600!)

OK, so that's not a lot of minutes, but then again, it is more than enough for us and it only costs $99 for a year of service.

Timberrrrrrrr!

On Saturday I joined Cameron and an entire herd (pod? gaggle? decibel? terror?) of Cub Scouts and their leaders to cut down the vermicious honeysuckle at Carriage Hill Metro Park.

The honeysuckle in question is a Chinese variant that had trouble growing in the area when it was planted in the US, so the government stepped in and of course it is now choking out all the native plants and trees in a number of states.

Gee. Who would've thought that a well-meant government program could've had such unintended results? [Insert deeply sarcastic tone here.]

But I digress....

According to the pre-event literature, only the 11-year old scouts would be wielding the pruning saws and loppers, but since I was with Cameron I let him go ahead and have some destructive fun. (I apologize for the fact that this may have directly resulted in every cub scout and even some pre-cub scouts ending up armed. But no one was hurt!)

We lopped and sawed and sawed and lopped, and 2 hours later Cameron was still a'rarin' to keep going. Being drawn to the saws, he took especial pleasure in finding big trunks to saw through.

I was really quite proud of him--he worked like a demon!

As he pronounced in the midst of his honeysuckle killing spree, 'The only thing funner than this is making fires!'

(Sadly, there were no cameras at the event....)

Toddler Terrorist

Cameron loves to lay down in front of the TV, his feet up on the entertainment center.

As he innocently (if anything that boy does can be considered innocent...) gazes at the screen, Allyson likes to saunter up and do any one of a number of things to him.

--Squat down and slap him up alongside the head.
--Lean over and slap him right between the eyes.
--Try to kick his ear off.
--Lob a toy at him from 12 inches away.

For some reason Cameron finds it annoying.

We just smile quietly to ourselves and at Allyson, as we see the gospel, specifically, The Golden Rule in action.

She is merely doing to another as she has seen others done to by that other.

Funnily, she doesn't do it to Erin or Makenna.

Live-blogging at the Floyd home

The previous post about buffalo wings makes one think of yummy chunky bleu cheese dressing. The following should completely replace that yummy image with another chunky--and much less tantalizing--image, and I sincerely apologize.

It is 1:42 AM on Saturday morning.

Erin had planned to sleep at a friend's house tonight, but at 11:30 PM she called to say her stomach was hurting, and after a second call at midnight I went and picked her up.

She had mentioned that she felt like throwing up, so I even took a barf bowl with me in the van.

Arriving home, she felt barfy but didn't spew any chunks, and she finally got to sleep after 1 AM.

15 minutes ago, I heard her lurching into the bathroom and then I heard a big splat. A big WET splat.

Getting up, I peeked around the corner and saw Erin frozen in mid-stride. Unfortunately, that mid-stride was about 3 feet shy of the toilet, and the floor was covered with little chewed bits of raw carrots and other flotsam and jetsam.

Obviously not wanting to step into the existing mess, she barfed again where she stood. And probably again. Thanks to her height, the chunks and liquid splattered quite handsomely.

One could even see that the pizza she had eaten for dinner had been festooned with at least one partial mushroom.

Cindy was able to extricate Erin, and get her into another room.

Armed with a squeegee and many paper towels, I was able to get all the visible stuff up. As you might image, a rose smells like a rose, and barf doesn't. The stink--actually the noxious fumes--was tremendous, and it almost caused Cindy to add her own bit (bits?) to the effluvium.

Cindy is now mopping up and doing some laundry (Erin's winter coat for some reason had been lying on the bathroom floor and was unluckily within the 'Splatter Zone.')

Afterwards, Erin said she felt MUCH better--her stomach didn't hurt at all.

No surprise there!

She apologized, ruefully saying, 'I was trying to get to the toilet.' Then she promptly went back to bed.

The only mystery during this entire episode was, Where did Erin leave the barf bowl?

Alas, the mystery was solved. Sherlock Holmes is not needed here.

It was in her right hand the entire time.

She is clearly blessed with mouth-floor coordination, but she obviously needs to work on her hand-mouth coordination.

Still, though the barf (and toilet) bowl was sadly empty, our cup can truly be said to be half full, as she didn't do this on the new carpet!

He shore ain't my son!

"So Cameron, are you going to watch the game tomorrow?"

"Am I going to watch it!? It's the biggest game of the year!"

He continued on, "I don't care about Michigan State, but I hate Michigan--I hate the color yellow!"

Yes, tomorrow is the big Ohio State-Michigan football game.

Yawn.

Maybe I'll watch some of it with Cameron and give my own brand of commentary.

And who knows, maybe Ohio State can continue their streak!

(Of course, per another friend, even if they do make it to the championship game they'll then have to play a team from the SEC that has actually played against real competition in almost every game....)

Yet it is a good excuse to microwave up a pack of buffalo wings, though....