Allyson 'Spawn of Dracula'

A week ago Allyson was doing her darndest to get put on a formula-based diet.

As we have related previously, she has two lower teeth that are fully extended, and as Cindy let me know a number of times last week with her whimsical loud yelps (exaggerated for comical effect, I am sure), Allyson had been trying to get some red meat (or at least blood) in her diet. When Cindy first began yippin' at the nippin', Allyson would get startled, and even start crying in response. However, she soon grew hardened to the pain and just did it for fun.

Cindy is also quick to note that Allyson's fingernails also serve well as talons to pin down the prey during feeding time.

But as you might expect, Cindy finally found a good cure. As she started feeding Allyson she would gently place her thumb and forefinger on Allyson's soft cheek and softly caress her. When Allyson started to clamp down, Cindy would clamp the aforementioned two fingers together and apply some pressure until she stopped.

Thanks to this, Allyson has stopped being so carnivorous (cannibalous?) and both mother and baby are doing well.

Ahh, sabbaticals

Actually, the main reasons for the blogging being so light since Christmas is that things have gotten a lot busier at work, and I've been lazy during the time I get to spend at home.
But even more than that, it is also due to the disappointing performances of the kids--they really need to work on doing things that are blog-worthy!
They definitely need to get their collective acts together!

Parting words....

As I prepared to leave Makenna after tucking her in bed and tickling her back, she rolled over to face me and sweetly said, 'Don't even think about tootin' in my room!'

Christmas Loot and Smiles to Boot!

We really need to do something about that 'Red-Eye' photo problem!

As you can see by her facial expression, Allyson displays great pathos as she gives piano recitals!

Merry Christmas!

We hope you and your'ns had a merry Christmas!


Our kids enjoyed Christmas exceedingly, but we parents were rather stressed out--not enough parents to go around to help all the kids figure out their stuff!

Keeping the Floyd family tradition alive.....

Last night I made something I haven't made in 11 years of married life---oyster stew! Of course, traditions have to be adjusted over time, and this was no exception:

--I used half cream and half milk instead of just skim milk.
--I used a whole 12-oz. container of large fresh oysters for 1.5 quarts of soup instead of just a couple little ones for 2 gallons.

After just smelling it, Cindy refused to even look at the big oysters half-submerged in the stew. She made some wisecrack about the smell, and not wanting to spew!
As I was eating it later, I asked the kids if they wanted to see a really big oyster. Cameron came over to see, then Makenna came over for a gander.
I could tell she was impressed with my hot and creamy soup, as she had plugged her nose before approaching!
Anyway, at least I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Our first and second Christmas miracles

Tonight it was my turn to take Erin shopping, specifically for athletic shoes and jeans.
After sifting through the jeans for 30 seconds, Erin decided she didn't need to buy jeans tonight.
That was the first miracle.

Miracle number two was when we found a pair of Womens Size 12-Wide Nike shoes in a style she liked and a price I could live with. The miraculous part is that these were the only shoes in the store in that size.

Lucky Ducky

Today Cameron came downstairs wearing the same clothes he has worn for the past two schooldays. (It is no surprise that it is his camouflage shirt and pants.)
When Cindy pointed out this oversight, and pleaded that he wear something else, he refused.
She came to find out that these were his "lucky clothes."
Lucky how?
"Well," he explained, “Yesterday I got 5 homeruns in kickball, and the day before I got three." (And yes, he has quite the inflated ego about his kickball prowess.)

Cindy jumped at this teaching moment, and related to him the story of the little girl who had a lucky duck, then lost the duck, and thereby found out that it wasn't the duck that made her lucky after all.

Needless to say, that dog didn't hunt.

"Nope," he replied, "I still like these clothes--they're lucky!"

And they may be even luckier than even he thinks, as they will pay out extra dividends come Saturday when it comes time for him to do his laundry, as he will only have to wash, dry, fold, and put away one shirt and one pair of pants (along with his action figure boxers and the 3 pairs of socks (the ones with green wording in the toe area) that he deigns to wear).

Of course, the above assumes that he can bend or otherwise contort the lucky clothes ('lucky stiff' clothes?) enough to get them into the washer.

Gizzards

Erin brought home a slew of books from the library yesterday, all with similar themes, such as Haunted Houses, Scary Stories for Sleepovers, and The Nightmare before Christmas (based on the overrated movie directed by perhaps the most overrated director in history).
As she started Haunted Houses, she came over to show me the photographs in this 'non-fiction' book that had images of ghosts, etc. I explained the wonders of PhotoShop and other photo enhancing software. Soon thereafter she came to me to say that the book had made her scared.
Doling out loving fatherly advice, 'Well, stop reading it then! Duh!!' I gently urged.
'But I've read the whole thing already!' she protested.
Needless to say, at bedtime and then again much later when Allyson woke her up during the night, she complained about being scared.
'Think happy thoughts!' I suggested. Having just gotten Allyson back to sleep by tickling her back in the middle of the night, it took me awhile to think of some actual happy thoughts for her to consider thinking.
I don't think she'll be reading the other books anytime soon....

We don't want to make anyone jealous, but....

unlike previous years, it is only one week from the big day, but this is where we stand.
1. All presents to extended family, etc., have been sent.
2. All presents to our family have been wrapped (except for a few 'undecided' items).
3. Our Christmas cards and family Christmas letters (both the English and Japanese versions) have all been sent.
4. Presents for teachers have all been prepared.

But lest you accuse us of boasting....
1. Our 'goody trays' are only half-baked. (Truth be told, our neighbors for some reason have developed some very high expectations. A couple years ago we just took some banana bread and oranges to a diabetic neighbor, and there was such moaning and gnashing of teeth (mostly by the diabetic) along with hints that they were really anticipating our next visit when we would be bringing the 'real stuff' that we spent the next week making over 10 different taste sensations.)

Hmmm....maybe that was boasting too....?

Chomper

Allyson's first tooth has finally come through this past week.

Matching the indentation on my finger with her gums, it is situated on her lower jaw, just right of center.

Dear Mr. Manners....

Dear Mr. Manners,

As Christmas approaches and I see the way my children are acting, is there something wrong about these feelings I keep having--that I really want to return all their expensive presents that I have spent so much time and effort on and replace them with some chunks of low-grade sub-bituminous coal?
I mean, I know it would be wrong to take even stronger steps. Besides, there are no local gypsy folk to sell them to anyway!
Sincerely,
Being Driven Up the Walls in Dayton

Hello Walls,
I have some good news and some bad news.
The bad news is that the malady with which you are afflicted is a common winter ailment. As an aside, the illustrious Polish psychologist Dr. Myse is the namesake of the clinical name of the ailment, namely 'Myse Lfishk Ids Syndrome.' And I regret to inform you that this is a chronic ailment that strikes without fail sometime between the Saturday after Thanksgiving and December 22rd, and will strike every year until your dear children move away.
Though there is no prescription available to combat this, please do not be too concerned, because there is good news.
By December 23rd, the magic that is Christmas and frantic rationalizing that there must have been SOMETHING good that the kids did during the year that justifies straining the family finances will combine to relieve all the symptoms.
Enjoy your Christmas!

Cherry cordially yours,
Mr. Manners

Like a rattlesnake!

Last night at 10 PM or so Makenna staggered into our room. She was only half-awake and obviously moody.

We put down our respective books and asked the usual questions....
'Did you have a bad dream?'
'nnnNNNN!' she snarled.
'Do you have to go to the bathroom?'
'nnnNNNNNNN!' she hissed.
'Would you like to get in bed with us?'
Silence, then a short nod.

She climbed in between us and we gently covered her with a blanket.
Ten seconds later she petulantly threw the blankets off, accompanied by additional snarls.
'Are you hot?'
'nnnNNNN!' she screeched.
'Would you like me to tickle your back?'
'nnnNNNN!!!' she shrieked.
By this reply we now knew that she had reached a new level of irritability.
'OK, then we'll just leave you alone.'
I turned back and continued reading King Lear.
Makenna snuggled up against me, draping an arm over me.
Cindy and I both began chuckling.
'nnnNNNN!!!' she bellowed.

However, she was soon squirming around again, lashing out at anything that displeased her, which was anything she saw, heard, or felt. After a couple minutes of this Cindy decided to shut it down.

'Makenna! Tell us what is wrong!'
'nnnNNNN!'
'Why are you wiggling so much? Does your bottom hurt?'
'nnnNNNN!'
'Makenna, if you won't tell us what is wrong, then you need to go get back in your bed!'
A pregnant pause.
Then...
'I have to go to the bathroom!' she moaned.
Cindy and I again made eye contact and tried to hide our spontaneous chortles.
After Makenna finished her job, all was well.

Especially as Makenna for once asked Cindy to go lay with her for awhile!

Christmas is coming, The goose is getting fat....

....That means we clean the frig out
To make more space for all that!

As you can see, we haven't cleaned out the frig recently, and I must say that the great variety of old dishes (also called 'petri dishes') was something to behold! Cindy says I am becoming more and more like her father every day!

Cindy probably also appreciates that I am throwing away some of the old mustard I have accumulated over the years. I am trying to make room for the prepared horseradish I asked Santa to bring me.

The Birthday Girl

As you can see, Cindy didn't have to slave over a bloated icing bag to prepare Erin's 10th year birthday 'cakes.' So in one sense it was more of a present for Cindy!

And we finally took Erin to 'Build-a-Bear' for her to build her own....MONKEY!
[Does not compute! Does not compute!]
She loved the experience and loves her bear, AKA 'Misty.' (Miserly fathers like me also get 'misty-eyed' by the time they walk out of this establishment. Others just cry outright!)
She also loved the fact that we took her out of school in the afternoon to do this (the lines during peak hours are unbelievable!)

When candy canes ATTACK!!

Cameron and Makenna love the 'colored' candy canes.

And it's not as if Cameron doesn't have enough weapons already!

Yet, yet again he finds a creative new way to employ his tongue to inflict wounds on others!!

Kenner was rather proud of her tongue too, shown below in all its glory!

Today the TV stand, tomorrow the Alps!

"What am I doing here? Nothing. Nothing at all.....

Why do you ask?"

Is her favorite show M*A*S*H?

Allyson has obviously been watching M*A*S*H reruns on the sly (which just goes to show just how precocious she is, as to do this would necessitate splicing into a cable signal from a neighbor, climbing out of her crib, going downstairs, and working the remote. Yet this is mere child's play for her!!)

The signs are obvious once you make the connection. We have since surmised the following:

• Klinger is her favorite character.
• She likes to gamble, and prefers to be the croupier.
• She has little respect for authority.
• She enjoys being around nurses.
• She has an affinity for men named Frank (actually I just made that one up!)

Which I guess is just another of saying that Allyson has the croup--she's very clingy, she seems to think that the more croupier she is the better, she doesn't listen when we plead for her to stay asleep, and she saw a doctor on Tuesday.

Monday and Tuesday nights Cindy got very little sleep, and I got more than her, but still not enough. Last night she slept all night, and we were able to catch up on some sleep, but she is still under the weather.

Her voice has deepened an octave, she is quite snot-nosed, and between her throat hurting and being stuffed up, she has a hard time staying asleep.

The Towering Inferno

Erin is playing on a 7~9 yr. old co-ed basketball team at the YMCA. It is made to be pretty non-competitive (which dovetails nicely with Erin's non-aggressive style of play).

Still, she does have quite a competitive advantage over the other kids.



--There just ain't to many 5'5" nine-year-olds out there!--

However, when she starts playing games in the 9~10 yr. old very-competitive girl league in January, she will definitely have to 'take it up a notch!'

Precious Moments.....'Shame, thy name is USELESS!'

Cameron has a lot of 'issues,' mainly of the variety that drive a parent nuts. And, knowing Cameron, that is likely the main reason he employs his different idiosyncratic behaviors.

Intelligent imp that he is, on some days he makes a chimp seem intelligent by comparison.

For example, though he knows how to say a perfectly good prayer without help, and he knows how to tie his shoes quite well, on many days he will feign utter incompetence and have a cute little tantrum as he vociferously demands help for these and other easy tasks.

Yesterday he had a friend over for most of the afternoon, and as we were getting all the kids together to go to Sam's Club, there was Cameron on the floor demanding that we tie his shoes.

Seeing his friend there, I tried to utilize peer pressure (i.e., shame him) to get him to tie his shoes. 'Cameron, I'll bet your friend ______ knows how to tie his shoes. Maybe he can show you!'

Cameron's hands didn't make even the slightest move towards his laces.

But his friend--one of the nicest kids you will ever meet--enthusiastically responded to my suggestion. He crouched down and kindly tied one of Cameron's shoes, doing each step slowly so that Cameron could learn it. As he finished, he said encouragingly, 'There! Now you try to tie the other shoe!' As Cameron slowly did each step (which he could do in his sleep if he had wanted to), his friend continuously lathered him with generous praise, and when Cameron had successfully completed the operation, gushed, 'You did great, Cameron!'

Cameron's friend surely did a good deed that day, and must've felt 10 feet tall.

As for us, as Cindy commented later, 'I wish we had gotten that on video! We could've had decades of laughs at Cameron's expense!'

A Blogworthy Exclusive! See it here first!

We took our family Christmas picture today, and this was the #2 pick, provided as an exclusive preview of upcoming attractive attractions to our loyal blog readers (all 1 of you??)



The #1 pick may soon be coming in the mail to you soon!

(Or, if I procrastinate writing the family letter, in an email on December 24th.)

And before we forget....

We went to Denna's house for Thanksgiving dinner (mmmm....dressing), and we had Erin wear my Napoleon Dynamite T-shirt with only one slight modification.

See if you can spot it!

Windy Wintry Wonderland

After a good 10 days of beautiful 60-degree weather, winter finally made a comeback.

Let's just say that this morning it was 54 degrees at 5:30 AM, and now at 10:20 PM it is 28 degrees and getting colder.

And windy! Over the course of the day the wind managed to nudge our 16-foot trampoline over 30 feet downwind! It's a good thing we have a fence and a small side hill, or the upstream neighbors would've thought Christmas had come early!

Another generation of 'A Christmas Story' watchers

Over the past 2 nights I have had some quality entertainment as the kids watched 'A Christmas Story.'

Sure, the movie was as great as ever, but the funnest part was watching the kids cackle at the different scenes.

I had the foresight to hit the mute button right after Ralphie intoned, 'A crummy commercial!?' after he deciphered the message "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine" using his Orphan Annie decoder ring.

The last thing I need is sweet Cameron (or even Makenna) running around calling things (and parents) SOBs!

Cameron was a curious monkey.....I mean BOY....

Cameron had to use our bathroom for his #2 tonight, and as he sat there with nothing better to do, he began gazing around and saw a box near the throne.

'Hey,' he yelled, 'What are these things in this box?'

Figuring out right away what he was looking at, I yelled back, 'They are girl things!'

He rejoindered, 'Yeah, but what are they?'

I shot back, 'You'll find out in about 7th grade!'

Cindy chimed in, 'Believe me, if I tried to explain it to you, you wouldn't want to know!'

'Hmmmfff!' was his only reply.

Silence reigned for a short while.

Then he called out again, with naked disgust in his voice, 'I'm reading the box but it doesn't explain anything! Here's a different box of the same stuff....it doesn't tell me anything either! Sheesh!'

In this case, curious minds don't need to know!

Cindy took a story book in for him to read instead.

Our own Mary Lou Retton?

I went in to get a crying Allyson out of her crib to find her standing up, supported by the rail.

At this rate, she'll be on inline skates by Easter!

A mother's love....

Cameron was teasing Makenna, and I called out,
'Be nice, Cameron!'

Cindy, busily working at the microwave (and stove), sang out, 'Remember who you're talking to!'

Then, mimicking an Olympics announcer at a challenging event, she added, 'Degree of Difficulty...!'

Don't ever turn your back on him!

Well, Cameron did it again.

Cindy bought a quart of egg nog, and aside from a small cup for me and the remaining quarter-cup that Cindy was able to salvage from the bottom of the carton, he drank the whole stinkin' thing!

The give-away is the faint egg nog moustache!



And, of course, the look of sublime satisfaction!

In the spirit of Ol' Saint----no....I mean Ol' SLICK Nick!

At the end of dinner, the exuberant Beelzebubs began chasing each other, running and screaming throughout the downstairs.

Cindy promptly moved to direct their annoying energies to more fruitful endeavors--they were tasked with clearing off the table.

After further groans, complaints, and other crass behavior, they were further directed to load the dishwasher and wash and dry the other dishes.

Cameron suddenly had to go poop. Erin thought he was pulling a 'Slick Nick,' but when Cindy checked on him and began mega-gagging, they accepted that his excuse was valid.

From his throne Cameron then chortled, 'I've been saving up my poop until Mom had a job for me to do!'

Thus is the 'Slick Nick' further refined by succeeding generations of ingenious progeny.

It almost brings tears to my eyes....or is that just due to the fumes?

Stars in their courses....

Today things are back to normal.

Cindy was presumably off chasing door-busters at 4:15 AM, the kids slept until 7:30, we put up the tree and decorations, went to play at the Y, the kids had burgers and Frosty's from Wendy's for lunch, then we enjoyed the 60-degree cloudless weather at a park (with one quick run home for 'Kenner to do what she should've done before we left).

It is now 3:45, and no sign of Cindy, so things must be going well!

Oh....what is that? The garage door is opening!

It's a bit early for Santa.....

....but Cameron was giving it a go.

You don't often see Cameron with a cheesy grin, so enjoy!

Another generation of board-gamers

This week Erin and Cameron pulled out Scrabble, and with a little coaching and help from me, made it through an entire game.

We have since played 5 or more games.

The best part is that they don't really need my help anymore!

Role Reversals

It was a nippy Thanksgiving morn, with wintry frost decorating the grass. The constellation Orion was slowly sinking in the western sky. It was 3:45 AM.

Cindy was oblivious. She had only one thing on her mind....shopping, shopping, and then more shopping. Unconsciously pulling the warm covers up to her chin, she restlessly (yet very gingerly--she had been the chiropractor the previous morning) turned onto her side, and continued dreaming of blazing-hot sales.

I, on the other hand, was on my way to the local Meijer's to get a place in line for a 6AM door-buster I-Pod for Cindy (it's no secret, so no cats are getting out of their bags). Arriving at the 24-hour store, I spent 20 minutes trying to find someone who knew where the line was, thereby finally ascertaining that there was no line yet. I got some door-busting cashews, cheese, and coconut shampoo, then I moseyed to spot where the line was to be. There was even a stool there! I pulled out my handy Sudoku book. By 5 AM we were a line of 8. By 6 AM it was a line of 50.

I walked out of the store with my purchases at 6:10 AM.

I dropped the big-ticket items (something secret for the kids too) at home, then went to wait at K-Mart for their 7 AM sale.

At 7:10 I walked out of there with 50 blank DVDs and something for Cindy. I got home at 7:15, finding Cindy still in bed.

Tomorrow Cindy and I will reverse roles. Of course, she will shop all day with friends, eat a nice lunch with friends, while I watch all 4 kids.

Still, she will do 98% of the Christmas shopping, so it seems like a fair trade!

How to Leave Mom Speechless

On the way back from swimming at the Y tonight, Erin suddenly said, "Mom, if you could give me any nickname, what would it be?"

Cindy opened her mouth with a ready reply, but before she could say anything Erin added an addendum: "...and it can't be 'Sassy Butt."

That made Cindy think harder, and then as she again opened her mouth to reply Erin again added further restrictions, "Nor can it have just 'Sassy' or just 'Butt,' nor 'Bum,' nor 'Boo-tocks*.'

Cindy closed her mouth permanently--all the apt ones were now off limits.

*'Boo-tocks' is an alternate pronunciation of the word 'buttocks' that I believe was first uttered by her cousin Sydnee well over a decade ago.

There's Gold in Them Thar Hills!

Once again Erin and Cameron earned 'gold cards' for this first quarter of the 2006-07 school year. All the gold card kids will be given these cards at a special assembly next week, along with the usual coupons for free baby pizzas or kids' meals, etc.
Naturally, both kids are pleased as punch. Of course, in Cameron's case, he has never received anything else, so it's taken as more of a 'given.'
At both of their parent-teacher conferences they were highly praised as being well-mannered and hardworking students. Doing some math (220 school days x 7 hrs / 12 waking hours per day), I see that this correlates to approximately 128.3 days of good behavior in a year. Kindly adding a generous helping of the time at home they display these same sterling qualities, one comes up with a grand total of 129.5 days of such behavior in a year for Cameron, and 135.75 days for Erin.
Finally, this award serves to engorge Cameron's already ballooning ego, and when he finds out that he will be bused to another school next year every week to participate in 'gifted math' he will be completely insufferable. (Right now he is just a plain variety of 'insufferable.')
As an aside, Makenna was also praised as being a wonderful student, but they don't give out gold cards until 1st grade.

No, It's Definitely not Merely 'Pining for the Fjords'

Sadly, the last of the 3 original goldfish died last night. It was soon after Cindy had gone to all the trouble of changing the water and even scrubbing down the insides of the tank.
That was rather inconsiderate of 'Floatie' in my humble opinion.
As for the cause of its demise, it could be due to any of a number of factors or even a diabolical combination:

1. A change in water temperature.
2. Too much chlorine and other nasty chemicals in the city water.
3. Something that ‘fish specialists’ refer to as 'stress.' (I don’t get it—they’re almost identical to cats—all they do (and I use the word 'do' quite loosely) is lazily float around all day and eat! So where’s the stress?)

Anyway, Cindy felt kinda bad, so she and Makenna (and cute Allyson) went to the local fish pet store this morning and bought another goldfish. They named it 'Beauty.' (If it is anything like the last one in its final stages, it might be better named 'Blackening Beauty.'

And Makenna has already grown quite attached to it. In her own innocent, childlike way, she is trying to foster a closer relationship with it than she enjoyed with the first three fish.

This became apparent when she ardently asked Cindy, "Can I flush it when it dies? I didn't get to flush any of the other three!"

Holy Creepy Crawlies Batman!

Well, as of Sunday we can assuredly say that Allyson can crawl FORWARDS.

Once she really gets moving we're going to have to start baby-proofing the house, but for right now she just provides lively entertainment for her siblings as they watch her crawl toward some object and then they move it away, then move it away again, etc., etc.

Loquacity is for losers...

....or so Cameron obviously believes.

In his never-ending quest for pithy brevity in his utterances, he has hit upon a terse curse.

"You....ALL cuss words!"

This thereby puts the onus of figuring out which cuss words he means on the recipient.

The boy is a deep thinker!

Hypnotic Technique for Babes

1. Lightly brush a fingertip in a circular pattern around the baby's face, including around (but not IN) the eyes and nose, chin and cheeks.
2. Watch as the babe stops moving.
3. Watch as the 1000-mile stare develops.
4. Watch as the eyelids droop and the baby falls asleep.

It has worked like a charm this week--even when she has woken up in the middle of the night!

I think she has developed an addiction....

They can be taught!

Cindy has made the kids do their own laundry the past couple Saturdays (usually with little grins at me as she directs the work).

And it looks like it is paying off!

As Erin was folding her own laundry she commented that she didn't have a lot to fold.

Cindy immediately cautioned her, 'Well, if you don't have enough clothes for this week, you'll have to do another load in the middle of the week.'

Erin brightly replied, 'That's OK, Mom. I know how to wash my own clothes now, so even if I have to do another one it's no problem!'

As Cindy was telling me this, that little grin on her face grew to hugey-mongous proportions, which rather nicely complemented the little victory jig she was doing.

Have I been remiss as a father?

Wheel of Fortune just happened to be on as Cameron and I were sitting on the couch last night. The subject was 'The 1990s.' The solution was something like 'Super Bowl Won Three Times by the Cowboys.'

I could tell that Cameron was still puzzled after reading the solution, so I asked him,"Cameron, who are the Cowboys?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

I asked a follow-up:

"What sport has the Super Bowl?"

Another shrug.
(Surprisingly, Erin piped up with the correct answer to the second one!)

Still, even though he got stumped I don’t really consider his education to be at all deficient.

Stats Break

Makenna and Allyson both went to see the doctor, with Makenna getting three, and Allyson getting 4 shots.

As a matter of fact, a couple days ago Makenna was getting mentally prepared, and she asked the question, 'Will they hurt more than the flu shot [from 2 years ago]?' When she was told that it would be about the same, she said, 'Goody, goody--the flu shots didn't really hurt!' and she was actually looking forward to getting them.

And her prep obviously worked. Makenna didn't cry a bit.

As for stats, 'Kenner is in the 95+ percentile in height and weight, and Allyson is still hovering around the 20~25th percentile for height, but only 10th percentile for weight.

It's too bad for Allyson that cuteness isn't 'percentiligulated,' as that would certainly improve her overall scores! [See some of the photos in previous posts for proof.]

Backboards

No, Cindy wasn't carried off on one after her back collapsed.

Rather, Erin has been learning to use the backboard when making basketball shots. The past 2 years she has done pretty well relying on just dead-reckoning at the hoop, but both of her coaches on both of her teams are stressing the importance of learning to use the backboard.
I went out with her a couple days ago, and she missed about 4 shots, got mad, and stamped off. Then yesterday she and Cameron went outside and when she came back in she said she had made 30 in a row.
Tonight she only got up to 23.
It is a big confidence-builder for her.
I am also trying to get her to be a more aggressive rebounder. I have started calling her the shark in an effort to get her thinking about lunging after a rebound instead of being fairly passive.

Of course, as stubborn as she is at times, maybe I should be more specific on the shark species and call her 'Hammerhead!'

The holidays are fast approaching....

Cameron and I were in the frontroom playing Slap-Jack as Cindy walked in the door from WalMart. She called out my name and tried to sneakily show me what she was holding. There was little lighting, so all I could make out was that it was a quart carton of something.

After a couple tries of trying to make it easier for me to see (without turning on a light so I could actually see it!), Cameron hopped up and jogged in to take a gander.

I heard him start reading, 'Southern...Comfort...E" then a quick squeal and a jerk as he tried to rip it out of her hands.

'Egg nog! She bought egg nog!' he yelled out, already drooling in anticipation.

He will have to wait until tomorrow, but he is one happy egg-nog-sucking-down camper!

I'll be lucky to get a drop!

He always has a ready response....

As Cindy was combing Cameron's hair this AM, I lightheartedly called out, 'Hey cow-lick boy!'

He immediately replied, 'Hey, Red-Butt boy! That'll be from me kicking you in the butt!'

Happy November!

For your viewing pleasure....

Primary and Games of Chance

Cindy's Mom sent us a link to the online version of the gameshow 'Deal or No Deal' (though I didn't know it was such a hit in Peru....).

So as I happened to pass by Erin as she was choosing the suitcases, I heard her softly singing a Primary song:

Choose the right,
When a choice is placed before you....

Would this work when playing roulette too?

Timing is everything....Part II

When I got home from church, Cindy was scooping apple muffin batter into the muffin stoneware pan.

I smelled something funny about this time, and starting sniffing.

Cindy asked what the problem was.

"It smells like throw-up,' I dutifully replied.

Note to self: Never say this when in close proximity to the chef's workspace.

Timing is everything.....

So last night Allyson went down at 8:30 PM, and then woke up refreshed at 10 PM, looking like this:



Though I had originally planned to show the above picture in its full glory--with both a happy Allyson and a disgruntled Mommy, the editorial board revoked my freedom of the press and only the happy Allyson could be shown. (They gave me some cock-and-bull line about 'maintaining marital bliss.')

Quality Girl Time...

The kids were out of school on Friday, and my sister Denna offered to take Erin shopping for a couple hours. It appears that a good time was had by all, and Erin came back with some cool clothes and a nice Sunday outfit, complete with brown clogs. (Even though it was frigid cold last Sunday she still wore her old dirty purple flip-flops to church.)
We'll take a snapshot of the 'New Erin' tomorrow and post it with this blog.

UPDATE: Here it is....

Take a stroll on the Boardwalk....

Cameron has a new addiction--Monopoly.
I've played it with him twice in 2 days, and he has beat me both times.
Sure, I'm not trying real hard to win, but I enjoy the games because it is fun to see him doing the money math in his head without even the slightest hesitation.

'You owe me $26 dollars. Give me $31 and I'll give you $5 back.'

or

'I have to pay $40 in taxes, but I just passed Go, so I just get to keep $160 of the $200.'

I had always thought he would be an engineer, but maybe he'll be an accountant instead!

A Day of Endings

Today marked the official end to the soccer season for the three eldest. Makenna's team had a party at CiCi's Pizza, which also served as a proxy party for Cameron (since his is set for tomorrow (Sunday)), and Erin tagged along too. (Cindy stayed home with a sleeping Allyson).
Then tonight I took Erin to her party--all the teams in her age group had a roller-skating party. Erin even talked me into going out on the floor.
I am glad to note that we both made it through the night without falling!

Sudoku

Cameron is the latest victim to fall prey to this addicting little game. On Sunday he got up early (due to the time change), and 40 minutes later he came down and plopped the adult Sudoku book next to where I was making crepes. He had done an entire puzzle, and was quite proud.

He next proudly went on to eat 3 crepes.

Fict-ation

Makenna learned the words 'fiction' and 'non-fiction' and has never looked back.

As she and Cindy were watching a Barbie movie, Cindy told her that it was only 'make-believe.'

'No,' Makenna replied, 'It is FICTION!'

How to Ask for a Favor--NOT!

This morning after the other two kids had gone to school, Cindy told Makenna that she was going to take a shower, which 'Kenner graciously acknowledged.
But when Cindy got out of the shower, she heard Makenna's blood-curdling screams from downstairs. Listening intently for a second, she judged that they weren't 'hurt' screams, so she decided to get dressed first. She figured that Makenna was probably bent forward in front of the downstairs toilet yelling for Cindy to come wipe her butt--if she ignored it, Makenna might try doing it herself.
But--surprise, surprise--when Cindy came down she found 'Kenner lying flat on her back in front of the TV, and it was abundantly clear that she was not hurt at all.
Makenna espied her and yelled out, 'I've been calling you for about an hour!!'
Cindy lovingly cooed back, 'Did you ever think to use the legs that your Heavenly Father gave you so you could walk upstairs and ask me your question, instead of sitting on your little butt and screaming at me!!?'
Makenna looked at her with a completely baffled look—either she had never even thought that such an option existed, or, more likely, she considered Cindy to be loony for having dared to entertain such a quaint notion.
Cindy turned around to leave the room.
Makenna, mimicking a Marine drill sergeant, then belted out, 'READ ME A STORY!' which was obviously what the entire ruckus had been about.

Somehow I don’t think she has gotten her story yet....maybe when she's 10 years old?

Wrestling, anyone?

Allyson is also feeling her oats (rice cereal, to be specific), and is now getting up on her knees and slowly engaging in rearward locomotion. She often ends up in a corner. She needs to take a page from Mao's Little Red Book and try a 'Great Leap Forward' campaign (minus the resulting mass starvation, of course).

A Regrettable Moment of Fortitude

A day before Halloween Cindy asked me to hide all the chocolate and candy left over from the Trunk-or-Treat from her to prevent her from snacking (can scarfing really be called snacking??) on it during the day.

Just 5 minutes ago she called, cursing me for hiding it so well (I guess she has been searching), yet not wanting me to tell her. She ate a couple of Cameron's Tootsie Rolls and then, feeling guilty, she is instead began dipping into the candy bars the kids didn't like (which she had hid herself and thus was able to easily find by herself).

Temptations can be very desking...ooops, I mean vexing!

Belated Halloween Greetings

This Halloween was a first for us--it was the first time since we had kids that one of us actually stayed home to give out candy for the entire night! We'll have to get back to you as to whether it was truly better to give than receive...so far we have our doubts!

Cindy stayed home with Allyson (it was about 48 degrees), I took Cameron and Makenna, and Erin went around with her friend Erinn and family.

Makenna said her stomach hurt (though she didn't each much candy at all), so Cameron and I dropped her off at home after an hour and continued on. We went down a lightly-hit street and at half of the houses Cameron got 1~2 handfuls of candy! He was a happy camper!

As usual, the kids got a lot of candy, and did their best to sample it once they got home....and they gladly threw all the candy they didn't like into the big bowl for Mom and Dad (things like Snickers, Paydays, Baby Ruths, etc.)

It makes sense.....theoretically.....

Cameron came home today begging for a 'Cowtail' (a long and chewy candy) for having had a dry pull-up.

As soon as he got it he said that he had to go poop.

Cindy suggested that he take his math homework with him for his quality sitting time, but he said that he had his hands full with the Cowtail.

I chimed in that if he got any fecal matter on it he could get very sick.

He immediately shot back, "I'll eat it before I wipe my butt!"

Broken Marriage Vows

11 years ago, as Cindy and I looked tenderly into each other’s eyes and set the ground-rules that would serve as guideposts to the rest of our lives, there were few disagreements and many whole-hearted agreements.

Well, the honeymoon is now officially over, and I am sad to say that Cindy was the one who caved in on what was one of our core vows. It's sad, really, as she tends to be more hardline on such fundamental issues.

Yes, I wish she would have consulted with me before breaking the vow of ‘No Pets--Not in this life, nor in the next!’

Still, I guess it's not the end of the world, and someday, heaven willing, the remaining goldfish will die--hopefully sooner rather than later.

You see, last night at the church Trunk-or-Treat activity there was a 'Fish Pond' booth, and they were giving out real goldfish. As it was the only event that Cameron would do, Cindy finally gave in (I was running the 'Cupcake Walk' the entire night).

We ended up going home with 1 for each of the 3 older kids, and they chose names on the way home—Sparkle (Cameron), Lisa (Makenna), and [to be inserted later] (Erin) (they all vetoed Cindy's suggestions of 'Flush' and 'Moaning Myrtle,' and Erin was quite offended that we were so callous). Upon arrival, Cindy temporarily put them in a glass vase for the night.

This morning I found one of them belly-up already. I smiled quietly to myself. (I later learned that it was either Sparkle or Erin's fish.)

However, this small smile changed to a frozen rictus of terror at approx. 10 AM when Cindy emailed me a picture of the aquarium kit she was thinking of buying.

Stay tuned for further news about this survivor challenge. Which one will be floated off at the next tribal council? Will one of them be nicknamed Bobber? Will mysterious 'Others' be introduced to the environment as the current group dwindles in number? And will these 'Others' also have a submarine?

On the bright side, the kids can never say that they never had a pet!

Recent favorite phrases

For posterity's sake, it is again time to relate the current fashionable language in our home.

Erin: “Retard!” “Jerk!” “Do you think I care?!”
Cameron: “IDiot!” [With Napoleon Dynamite enunciation]. “Bleep-Bleep!” [You know he is thinking the words he has bleeped out, but one is still thankful for small favors.]
Makenna: “So how was I supposed to know?!” “Wahhhhh!” [She is the queen of crying at the drop of a hat if she doesn’t get her way.]
Allyson: Non-verbals: “Oh, that sure felt good coming out!” “Entertain me daddy! Feed me mommy!” “Hey Dad, how 'bout s'more brownies!”

I think I'm finally going to do it.

Do what?

Get a copy of Erin's birth certificate resized and laminated, that's what!

Cindy had a book party at the house tonight, so I kindly volunteered to take all the kids to the YMCA to play.

As Erin was entering the indoor playland, a worker opened the door and said, "No kids 10 or over are allowed on it."

"She's nine," I replied.

He gave me that 'Yeah, right, and Picard is better than Kirk' look. He asked for her name, and I freely gave it and told him to feel free to look it up.

He didn't come back.

Now THIS is blogging fodder!

I am currently converting our wedding video to DVD, and Erin was watching some of it tonight right before bedtime.

As we gathered for family prayer, she looked at me and in a perhaps slightly puzzled tone, told me, "Daddy, you were a lot more handsome back then. Now you are more...," she paused briefly as she tried to think of just the right descriptive term, "...shiggy-shaggy."

Makenna and Cameron must know what that means--they erupted in laughter--but I am still in the dark.

Makenna gave us another usage example, albeit an enigmatic one, as she snorted and said, "Mom, you were more shiggy-shaggy back when you were married!"

Cindy tried to score points by saying, "Daddy just looks more distinguished now!"

They didn't buy it.

Desperate Housewife Dreams

Cindy called me at work this morning to tell me her latest dream.

As our family was playing out back, a big van pulled up and a group came into the house, acting as if we were having an open house. Cindy asked what they were doing, and they said that they wanted to buy the house. (Cindy’s impression during this dream sequence was that they were relatives of our neighbors and wanted to live next door.)
Cindy replied, ‘But it’s not for sale!’
‘But we want to buy it—what would you accept?’ the man replied.
Cindy threw out the figure of $300,000 (and I jabbed her in the ribs to express my concern about how crazily high this figure was).
The man replied, ‘Actually, my wife was thinking of paying up to $375,000.’ [Note to dear readers, that is approx. 3 times the value of our humble abode.]
They left soon after, saying they would think about it. Soon a second (rather snooty) family showed up--they really wanted the house too.
But the next day, the first group came back with a check for $368,000.

Cindy then dreamed about being able to buy a dream house and never having a house payment again. [I am not sure if she was still asleep or was awake by the time she was dreaming about this!]

Sadly....(?)

Yes, blogging has been a little light the past couple weeks.

The kids just aren't giving me any good material to work with!

Just soccer games, tantrums, major tantrums, smart-aleckyness, and a sweet Allyson. (She slept for 3 hours yesterday morning, much to Cindy's extreme delight!)

As voting season approaches....

....just know that Erin came out the winner.

Unbeknownst to us, she 'ran' for student council in her class and she and her friend Erinn won the two seats.

She had written a short speech for her campaign, but she forgot it on the big day, so she just got up and extemporized.

We were impressed that our shy little girl is becoming less shy in public.

(Of course in PRIVATE she still has a hard time remembering to shut the door when she's in the bathroom or to wear a bathrobe when she's in her skivvies!)

Fertile Young Minds

As it was Fast Sunday today, Erin skipped breakfast. She wasn't too thrilled, especially when she heard that mom wasn't (because pregnant and nursing women don't fast).

Erin walked away, but returned a couple minutes later looking like this:


Soon all the kids joined in the fun.


She didn't eat any breakfast, though, and had nary a complaint!

And then the real screaming began.....

Cindy called me at 9:15 today. I assumed she was calling to wish me a happy 11th anniversary, but such was not the case (at least not directly)!

She called to tell me that Erin was still at home instead of at school because one of her teeth became super-loose when she was brushing her teeth.

She put me on speaker phone and we both encouraged Erin to do the last little yank and pull it out.

And after just a little coaxing she did!

It was only after Cindy and I jointly (amid chortles) composed the following note to the school that Erin started screaming and gesturing to Cindy that she was going to cut her throat as revenge:

Please excuse Erin for being late this morning. While brushing her teeth this AM her loose tooth became extremely loose and somewhat bloody. Rather than sending her to school bloody and resembling Dracula (even in the month of Halloween) we kept her home to perform a tooth extraction and to staunch the flow of blood.
You're welcome!
Sincerely?
Cindy Floyd

Dramatis Personae

As we drove to Erin's soccer game tonight (her team won 7-1), Makenna and Cameron were in the back seat and Makenna suddenly began crying hard. Cindy asked what was the matter (we both assumed that some major appendage of Cameron was involved), and through her sobs she managed to get out the following:

"Cameron put his shoes on the seat with the toes facing me, and I don't want them to face that way! Waaaaaaa!!!"

Cindy and I just sighed and told her to live with it.

Gee, I hope we weren't too tough on her!

PS: Cameron didn't have his shoes on at the time....

I'm hurt!!

I decided to take the last couple dozen ripe tomatoes from the garden to make a batch of salsa. As I was chopping up the onions Cindy came into the room and made a sound I interpreted to mean 'stinky!'

"I'm sorry about the smell, dear,' I said in a quite considerate tone.

"Ohhh," she replied, "That's OK. It's not as if I haven't heard you say that a million times anyway!"

Talk about sick bathroom humor!

Camouflage

In an obvious effort to curry (mmmm.....curry) favor with the hunters in his extended family, Cameron went to school today looking like this:

1. BY THE TREE


2. IN FRONT OF THE TREE


Before departing (not that anyone would be able to glimpse him as he departs...), he gleefully told Cindy, "When I play basketball during recess none of the other kids will be able to see me--they'll just see a basketball bouncing up and down by itself!"

(Yes, he knows better, but Cindy likes to pretend she can't see him and he isn't above taking such opportunities to ham it up.)

Now we know why.....

Cindy's back has been giving her more trouble ever since the yard sale last month, and now she knows why.

Cameron in his scheming ways has been stepping on all the sidewalk cracks he can.

As Cindy was putting him to bed tonight he quoth the proverb, 'Step on a crack, break you mother's back.' When Cindy asked if he was doing it to make her back hurt, he merely gave her a look of sublime superiority.

It kinda reminds me of the thoughts I had after we read him the 'Jump on Pop' book.

Shark alert!

Allyson just got her first taste of 'real' food (loosely speaking, of course, as it was rice cereal).

She was obviously ready for it, because she didn't even need a bib! After the first couple bites she began anticipating every bite, and, much as a great white will lunge to bite its prey, Allyson was lunging to gum the spoon.

Speaking of the spoon, Cindy had thrown all the baby ones away a number of years ago, so she had to pilfer one from Makenna's kitchen toys.

Worked like a charm!

I sure hope the headhunters don't show up!

When I got home from church I found my parking space occupied by this:




Introducing the Erin, Cameron, and Makenna drum trio (Cameron is "playing" a small egg maracca).

Later on they made a 'guitar' using a board, nails, and rubber-bands.

Wake up and smell the waffles!

When Erin meandered downstairs this fine Sunday morning, she was rather 'out of it' and looking very tired, even with a plate of waffles in front of her.
I tried to liven her up by doing my patented 'fake slap.' I.e., where I gently place one hand on her cheek and then swing my other hand around fast as if I were going to slap her, and instead miss her face by a millimeter and loudly smack the lower palm of the hand at her cheek.
It did work somewhat, but then Makenna walked in and asked if she could try too. She placed one hand on Erin's cheek, and then brought her hand around and gave her medium-intensity slap on her cheek! Cindy, Erin and I began laughing at her 'goof,' and Makenna proudly said, "I TRIED to do that!" and erupted into giggles!

Erin should have a friend over more often!

So said Cindy.

She continued,
"Did you notice that she went up and cleaned her room so that they could go up there to play?"

Fairies

We will be having at least one fairy at our house tonight (besides the now-obligatory contingent on TV in 'The Amazing Race' series).

You see, Cameron let me pull out his first loose tooth.

Of course, this was a long process that lasted well over 45 minutes.

• He had to get first and second opinions from Erin about how much it would hurt when I pulled it out.
• He also had to weigh the chance that it would come out during the night and he would swallow it or choke on it. (His imagination was obviously quite vivid, and this is what finally led him to letting me do it.)
• He had Cindy get him a wetted washcloth to soak up any blood (he asked her to get this 30 minutes before the actual operation--he'll make a good Cub Scout!!)

By the time he mustered up the courage to let me give it a quick yank with my fingers, he had played with his tooth to the point where it was lying horizontally in the space.

He grimaced, I pulled, and it came right out, with little or no blood or pain.

Maybe the tooth fairy should pay ME for all the hassle!

Hostage of Fortune

This afternoon I let the kids talk me into going out to jump with them on the trampoline.

Now, for safety reasons there is only one entrance/exit through the safety netting, so while we were jumping one of those sneaky kids surreptitiously clipped this securely shut. (This means that it takes about 30 seconds to undo the clips before you can get out.)

When I was ready to get out, Erin and Cameron flung themselves against the opening, barring me from even reaching the clips. Their chortling was intense.

I ended up staying on the trampoline another 20 minutes.

Kids 1, Daddo 0

Psych Ops

Cameron came home from school with a page he had done at school that included both artwork and writing.

The question on the sheet was, 'If you could do anything you wanted this weekend, what would you do?'

He had written:
1. I would play with my mom and dad.
2. I would go fishing with my dad. I would build my K-nex with my mom.

The finely drawn picture showed me and him at the pond pulling in lots of fish.

So, what did we do this weekend? Since we were blessed with no soccer games on Saturday, I took the 3 older kids swimming at the Y, and then we went fishing (as explained in the previous posting).

Then today after church, Cindy put aside some time to help him build a ferris wheel and a ring toss out of his K-nex.

Only time will tell if Cameron pulled a fast one on us.....if he comes home next week with a picture showing him going to Disneyworld and sitting in a tub of ice cream with a big spoon we will know for sure!

We came, we fished, we caught their butts!

Well, OK, I guess we actually caught most of them at the other end of their gastrointestinal tract, but it was too good to pass up.

I took the 3 older kids fishing tonight (from 6~8 PM) at the pond at work, and though the first hour was slow (and Erin and Makenna drifted off to play for awhile because of the dearth of luck), the second hour was pure fishing frenzy. (The bait was cheap hotdogs.)

Maybe it was because that was right after I changed the hooks from big bass hooks to little panfish hooks that the swarming schools of little bluegill could suck in more easily. Anyway, it got Erin and Makenna back into the fray.

We caught more than 20, with Cameron and I each catching 2 bass and Erin catching one. Cameron and Erin shared the crown for the biggest bass, and Erin definitely caught the biggest bluegill. Makenna also pulled in a couple bluegill, including a cute one that was no more than 4 inches long.

Cindy and Allyson came during the middle of the frenzy, and Cindy forced the kids to gently release the fish back into the water instead of lobbing them out 10 feet or so (a bad habit they picked up from me....)

Anyway, even Erin was excited up to the very end, which means that it really was a successful outing (her 'boredom meter' reaches infinity after about 2 minutes).

Finally....I think I could make millions if I could invent something to remove the smell of fish from hands! I hope the keyboard doesn't stink for a week!

It just doesn't sound right....

....but it sure sounds nice!

I have a late-day meeting at work, so I came home for a couple hours in the afternoon.

It was so QUIET at home.

Cindy was feeding Allyson and reading a book, and thus there was no TV on, no radio on, nothing but the sound of cicadas outside.

It felt rather weird at first, but it is something that would be easy to get used to!

A frank opinion....freely offered

After her soccer game, Erin and I went to the junior high to sign her up for the winter basketball league.

Touchingly, Erin had insisted that only the two of us go.

As we were walking towards the front door, I coughed up some phlegm (maybe I'm catching a cold??) and so I hawked it out on the grass.

Erin saw that and immediately exclaimed, 'EEEwwwwWWW!.......You aren't going to make a habit of doing that are you?'

I reassured her that I wasn't.

She replied, 'Good, you disgusting old man!'

That put me in a quandary. Should I take offense at 'disgusting' or at 'old man?'

Anyway, I again note that she has obviously not spent enough time around her Floyd uncles, to whom hawking big lugies is an art form.

Making a difference....

Erin had a soccer game tonight, and we must say that she played better than she ever had. No, she didn't score any goals, but she had some dogged determination, and one of her long throw-ins resulted in a goal 10 seconds later.

This is what we have been trying to get her to do....to find that place inside her that strives for excellence even when tired.

Of course the real miracle would be if she ever applied this same ethic to her math homework.

Baby steps, baby steps!

Gross Behavior

Cameron was in the bathroom downstairs 'seeing a man about a dog'* tonight and for some reason he had the door open. As I go by I see that he has his head down by his knees and is peering intently into the crapper.

'Dad!!' he exclaimed! 'Come and see! The poop is so long! It's reaching the bottom and it's still coming out!'

Was it wrong of me to just take his word on it? (Maybe Mr. Manners could weigh in on this?)

*This is what I call a #2, and I call a #1 'Seeing a man about a horse.' Cameron, logician that he is, claims that a horse poops a lot more than a dog. Ergo, 'Seeing a man about a horse' should be a #2. I imagine he's never seen a horse do a #1. I think he would be suitably impressed and perhaps acquiesce to my version of these euphemisms.

Jeeves at your service, ma'am

Ah gratitude. The grease that lubricates human relationships.

Or so I've heard, anyway.

Case in point. Today Cindy took the time to go upstairs and clean Erin's room and make her bed for her. (Sidenote: Usually Erin has to do it herself.)

So today after school Erin came downstairs and I heard the following conversation.

'So....did you notice anything different about your room?'

'Yeah, some butler cleaned my room.....except not as good as a butler [would].'

Cracking the Code

Cindy has successfully cracked Cameron's coded message. At certain times--and only at certain times--he will come up to her, say "I'm tiiirrred" and snuggle with her.

Last week Cindy told him, "When you say 'I'm tired,' I know that what you are really saying is, 'I love you.'"

So Cindy now tells him 'I'm tired!' whenever she wants to say the 'love' word to him.

Cameron, of course, is now clarifying his statements of fatigue.

"I'm tired!........That just means I'm tired, not that I love you."

Reason 137 for why I don't post about myself much!

Thursday and Friday I put in 25 hours at work. I didn't see the kids awake between bedtime on Wednesday and 5 PM on Friday, and didn't eat anything from 6:30 AM on Thursday to 6:00 AM on Friday. (I was too busy!)
Translating rush documents, interpreting in many meetings for the prez (including a 2.5 hour video conference with Japan on Thursday night), and some actual tech writing thrown in wherever it would fit!
It is nice to be such an appreciated asset, but it would be nicer to see some commensurate remuneration!

Ah, the joy of work!

Ebay Fever

Cindy has it bad, having caught it during the yard sale, when she saw lots of things that she felt she could probably get more money from if she put it on Ebay.
She signed up this past week, and she now has her first item up for auction. However, since she has no rating (good or bad), we will see if she gets any bites!

If she really gets going, we may never have to do a yard sale again!

And maybe we can retire!

Sports Philosophy a la Cameron

"What is so great about sports? You run hard, get tired and sweaty, and you still lose!"

Hopefully Ohio State won't feel the same way after playing Texas tomorrow!

Soft Crust (or Crusties....)

When I got home from work, Cameron was hungry, so I fixed him a PB and jelly sandwich.

Because he refuses to eat the crust we always end up cutting it off for him, but tonight I tried to cajole him into eating it by enthusiastically telling him, 'Oh, this crust is so soft! You can eat this soft crust, right?!'

'I don't care if it is as soft as a baby's bottom,' he rejoindered, 'Because a baby's butt is stinky!'

Cameron 3546, Parents 0.

I didn't have the heart to tell him he was committing a logical fallacy!

Soccer Strategerizing

As I was putting together the pizzas tonight, Makenna came over holding her birthday gift notepad and asked, "Do you want to see what I learned about soccer?"

She held up her pad, showing me a sketch of two opposing goals with some arrows pointing towards one of the goals.

She continued, 'Here is the center line, and if you are here and someone on the other team is there, you don't kick the ball there, you kick it down here!" The arrows showed the ball heading towards the goal.

She later showed Cindy the same thing, and her comment to me was, 'She's a regular Lavell!'

I'm not sure who this 'Lavell' gal is, but I guess she's good at coaching soccer?

Dear Mr. Manners

Dear Mr. Manners,

I am so vexed! Our 3rd child just entered Kindergarten and she is ruining our family's reputation before my very eyes!
I mean, I've done all I can to prevent her unacceptable behavior at school, but when I'm not with her it's like she deliberately ignores everything she's been taught about the proud traditions of our family! And to make matters worse, her teacher also had both of her older siblings when they were in Kindergarten and thus is fully aware that our daughter knows better! The shame!
I mean, she should know that she is never to make eye contact with her teacher, much less initiate a conversation! And her smiling cheerfulness at school! She never learned THAT nasty little habit from her sibs!
And worst of all, when she comes home from school she brazenly walks in the door and announces how GREAT school was, and makes me listen to everything she did!
Why can't she just do as she has been taught by osmosis, and just reply 'Nothing' when I ask her what she did at school!?!
The next thing you know she will probably be found prancing around in front of the class performing some one-girl variety show!
I feel like putting a bag over my head when I take her to school every day! What is a poor mother to do?
Sincerely,
Truelee "At least she doesn't pick her nose so much anymore!" Distraught

Dear TALSDPHNSMAD--May I call you MAD?
Frankly speaking, this kind of behavior needs to be nipped in the bud. Quick and permanent measures are needed.
Fortunately for you there are two effective remedies that work well together--a kind of one-two punch, as it were.
Namely, some electrodes to the brain, and a good swift kick every now and then.
Of course, it may be best to hire a licensed medical practitioner to perform these measures, as asking your husband to do so might get him jailed for spousal abuse.

Sincerely,
Mr. Manners

Bragging Rights

Makenna has now done something that neither Cameron or Erin has accomplished in their respective 4 years of soccer.
In tonight's exciting game, Makenna dribbled the ball in from about 15 yards away and made a goal! It gave her a lot of adrenaline-charged energy for the rest of the game!

Reactions were mixed.

Mom and Dad were happy that our yearly investment in soccer fees has finally paid back a bit, thought it is like winning a $1.00 back on the nickel slots after having lost $50....
Cameron was off playing, but when he heard the news his first comment was, 'I never played in a league without a goalie.' (Makenna did have to navigate through 2 defenders thought).
After the game Cindy asked Makenna if she liked soccer now. "No, it's too boring... except when I make a goal!"

At the dinner table we gave her a 'round of applause,' and she repeatedly bowed and said 'Thank you.'

Atta girl!

Better Than Sex Cake, Part II

I had to run home at lunch today, and so I had a quickie, with seconds.

That would be OF CAKE, of course. Shame on you!

Oh rats, I just realized that I forgot to put on whipped cream!


That would be on my CAKE!

Better Than Sex Cake

To celebrate Labor Day, Cindy made a chocolate cake with the above name this morning. Needless to relate, we have gotten a lot of mileage out of this name in the interim.

Actually, Cindy and her sister got the most mileage out of it. Tonight as they were talking on the phone, they were wondering if the name was really that accurate or not. E.g., if given the choice between the two, which would be more tempting. Cindy said that maybe she should ask me, and from the other room I called out, "Well, the cake doesn't make me sleepy!"

As for my opinion, it was mighty fine cake, but it would be hard to do a side-by-side comparison, as with the whip cream and all it would probably be a bit messy, and besides, I wouldn't be awake long enough to cut me a second piece.

Greetings, Pop!

Over the years the kids have developed innovative ways to greet me as I walk in the door after work. It has ran the gamut from screams of glee to sheer uninterest.

Now Makenna has left her mark (or, in this case, marks??)

Her favored mode of salutation is a head-butt. (Now, this is not to be confused with what was once Cameron's favorite salutation, which had the two words in reverse order.) I am thankful that with her height she usually hitting me at hip level, but she is also a pretty solid little girl, and thus can sometimes knock me off-balance.

Other quirks include her refusal to accept a good-night kiss--if I lean over she rolls away....violently! (Thank goodness she has a queen-size bed.

She has also picked up a new phrase from some TV show, i.e., 'Definitely!'

Sweet Child of Mine

After cleaning up the yard sale late this afternoon, I came in and Erin immediately came up to me and excitely said, 'Smell my T-Shirt!' and pulled it out for my olfactory pleasure.

Being somewhat tired, I did it, thinking for some reason that maybe she had spilled some of her scented lotion on it or something.

I smelled.

I recoiled.

She beamed.

And cackled.

And trotted away.

Allyson had obviously puked down her shirt.

Yardsale Blues

Cindy and her friend did a yard sale this week, but it was rained out partially on Thursday, it looked rainy again on Friday so they didn't do it (it never actually rained all day!), and then today we got everything out, the Doppler was clear, and then it started misting. We covered everything back up. It stopped again. We uncovered everything again. Then an hour later the light showers started.

It looks like Goodwill will be having an even better day than we thought!

Wasted Birthday Money Again....

'Kenner celebrated her 5th birthday on Wednesday, and as you might expect, her two favorite gifts were the two cheapest little 'afterthought' gifts that were bought to up the present count.

#1: A roll of Rolo's choco/caramel candy (this was by FAR her most favorite, even if it only lasted for about 3 minutes....)
#2: A Barbie notepad and pen.

Together, these ran us about $2.75.

The big ticket items are certainly being played with, but they left no lasting impression.

It would be nice if we could remember this every year....but we won't.